Sexual Tastes switch into cuckold and trans

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Raikton, May 5, 2019.

  1. Raikton

    Raikton Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,i'm new here,i felt the need to do a post since i'm like going crazy right now.I'm 26 years old and i'm in a relationship with a new girl right now since like november.The problem is the 1st time i tried to had sex with her i had no excitation at all,and obviously i had no way to have sex with her. Since i was 16 i masturbated a lot,and even started masturbating like 3 times a day for most of the times,searching everytime for more extreme porn,i even started trying anal masturbation.After i went 18 i found a girl and had a relationship with her for 6 years,where in the first year and a half i had very good sex with,and it was very pleasurable,even my life overall was super good,i was happy with everything i was doing.After that she went in like depression sex was really bad to the extent where most of times it was so mechanical that i started losing interest,and even my life started to lose meaning.So basically from when i was 20 i started masturbating super hard on hentai,and porn more and more strange.At the point that most of time i coudn't even have an erection with her,if i wasn't thinking about porn i saw.The more this thing went on the more my taste changed,with anal masturbation, and getting addicted to cuckold porn where in my mind i was passive,and i was humiliated with dick size comparison even though i've got a completely normal dick even above average and even had to fuck with the other man.From that i even reached in the last year where i was alone after i fucked with another girl but then broke up in a bad way and went into depression,to seeing gay porn where i only liked the domination and if there was a big dick,if there was romance like kisses and hugs,i felt discomfort.I even got addicted to a lot of tranny/Futa porn,and idk why my tastes changed so bad,i kind of think maybe due to unsatisfaction and depression.Now i really like the girl i'm with and we had a lot of preliminaries with very good result where i can have an erection even without thinking at strange things,just emotions and senses.Just recently i wanted to quit the thing of masturbating to porn and homosexual things since i feel they aren't a part of me,even though my brains react to them with excitement after the last year.Its like a month i don't watch porn and only cum when she gives me oral or masturbates me,i live all this like and new training of my body.Only big problem after i quit porn and solo masturbation,my level of anxiety skyrocketed,and now i have obsessions of being gay,and i have constant thoughts of the time i anal masturbated,i watched gay porn and i hadn't an erection with my past gf.I want to end all this,since i'm always been attracted to girl,but at this moment my mind doesn't want to let me free,i can't even sleep at niight most of the times,and i don't even like going to the gym anymore since i fear to feel attraction to mens,its a lot likely HOCD even though i don't know if i have it,still i want to get rid of all this,i want to say that in past years i masturbated like 4-5h per day while searching internet for new sites and exciting porn,and i saw my tasted switching,so pls guys help me,i want to enjoy sex with my gf,and stop these obsessions in my mind.Thanks
     
  2. N0thing

    N0thing Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing your story. Change of fetishes is common for porn addicts. If your attracted to men as well, it doesn't matter when you get going on the reboot. My advice to you is find one hobby that keeps you in shape, one that pays the bill and one that's creative. Make sure to start all mornings with 10min meditation. Good luck in your journey :)
     
  3. Raikton

    Raikton Fapstronaut

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    I never found man attractive at all, that's what is getting me crazy recently, just had like a dick fetish since a few years.
     
  4. N0thing

    N0thing Fapstronaut

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    The only way to find out is do 90 days of no Pmo. Being attracted to men is not the end of the world. Straight or not, who cares? Just take care of yourself:)
     
  5. Xaviar.marshall

    Xaviar.marshall Fapstronaut

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    Yo so today I woke up with morning wood and I was happy but then I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and I seen a post about someone getting eaten out and I thought about eating someone out. i wanted to like to the girl i love and that loves me, but I got this pit in my stomach like I was scared of sexual intercourse...I idk what to do..i have realized while thick girls have nice asses and are sexy I gravitate towards slimmer women not to thick or skinny I love females like that..idk y...but i have been on a never ending fap session I have been fapping for 3 days straight.. it's like I'm scared of the female body but im not but I am...idk any more i get hard when thinking about getting a blowjob from a women and having sex with a women but then when...I get a pit in my stomach and I get anxiety because what if it means I dont like girls..I have always liked girls ever since 5th grade but what if that memory is fake..idk any more man...its like I cant do anything with out worrying that I will turn gay....cant learn to play my guitar that was a gift..it pops up out of no where..I can be cooking and then its like ok I'm gonna use this onion..then boom what if I turn gay from cutting this onion..so I go get a red onion but then the same question pops up so I dont use one onion I used both and I get at ease...is this OCD osk any more man
     
  6. AngeZarate10

    AngeZarate10 Fapstronaut

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    it's the porn that caused you this, an obsessive disorder.
    it is not that from one day to the next you become gay, I too have had strange fetishes. :)
     
  7. AngeZarate10

    AngeZarate10 Fapstronaut

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    I tell you because I also had the ocd, including hocd, and talking to the psychologist I understood many things.
    it can be an anxiety about something, I can't tell you, what I advise you is to talk to someone of competence.
    now I'm going out, and believe me, I've been terrible.
     
  8. Raikton

    Raikton Fapstronaut

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    The thing like i told u is that i never found appealing to be with a man and i even always disliked even watching men kissing or hug each other,simply like most men i had a fetish to see men with big dicks in porn,the time i had with the girls too was amazing,so i have few doubt about that,but my mind doesn't want to set me free.
     
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  9. AngeZarate10

    AngeZarate10 Fapstronaut

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    You've an HOCD. I give you an advice.
    Go from a pyschologist. They will cure your obsession
     
  10. N0thing

    N0thing Fapstronaut

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    That was my point. After a 90 day reboot, you'll learn a lot about yourself :emoji_slight_smile:
     
  11. Raikton

    Raikton Fapstronaut

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    In fact its getting more and more clearer the more it goes on,i understood why i went into those fetishes this evening,i'm starting to feel a little better finally,even though i don't know if i will be able to sleep this night cause recently i'm a lot anxious.
     
  12. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    What is Cuckold? :eek:
     
  13. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    It's normal and it will level out in time. You used masturbation as an anti-anxiety pill, now that you're not using it your real levels of anxiety that were there all along begin to show up.

    As for gay stuff, hocd is normal because when you watch intercourse and are aroused/masturbate you associate arousal with both a pu$$y and another di#k. It will wear out in time.
     
  14. Raikton

    Raikton Fapstronaut

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    Ye thats true in fact atm i'm like living hell,i have insomnia,constant anxiety about everything,and every time i see a guy i think,if u look at him it must means u like him,that is a thing i never thought my entire life,as u said compulsive masturbation was my way to relieve all my anxiety and now i'm like exploding.
     
  15. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    You have to push through, it's not going to be pleasant, especially the insomnia part. I recommend you start running and cold showers.
     
  16. Raikton

    Raikton Fapstronaut

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    Atm it's pretty strange, I don't feel like emotions or sexual attraction to anything, I feel like asexual.
     
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  17. AngeZarate10

    AngeZarate10 Fapstronaut

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    You must wait somedays.
    I've got your same problem, anxiety, insomnia.
    Before relapse, in the last days i'm feel fine very well.
    Don't worry :)
     
  18. Raikton

    Raikton Fapstronaut

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    Still its pretty strange atm, I like really don't anything exciting or attractive, maybe cause it's like 2 weeks that I sleep less than 3 hours per night, but it makes me feel sad since I dislike the fact of how I am when I am with my girlfriend, now it's like more than a month than I don't watch porn, and the only time I came where with my girlfriend doing things to me, like 2 weeks ago, since now she is busy. But I don't even feel the need to cum or masturbate atm, thats why I feel like asexual.
     
  19. AngeZarate10

    AngeZarate10 Fapstronaut

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    It's only a ugly period.
    It will pass. Be quiet
     
  20. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Man, beginnings are hard, I experienced that, hocd also.

    Continue nofap and if gym is too big stress for you, do calisthenics at home.

    Hocd will pass. You are not gay, lots of straight guys have crazy escalations here.
     
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