Sexuality/Attraction Spectrum

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by D-Mystifier, Jun 4, 2021.

  1. D-Mystifier

    D-Mystifier Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone!

    Just curious to know what your thoughts and experience are with sexuality and attracting lying on a spectrum. For me, I consider myself as a straight male as I feel most turned on by females. Often times at a level that I am embarrassed by, as I am hyper sexual towards women, and can't seem to tame it. However, there is the odd time where I find myself checking out the physique of a guy, which makes me uncomfortable. Also, I do find it easy to connect with some of my male friends, and can even share intimate parts of my life with them. But I would consider this to fit within the brotherhood, where there comes a certain level of mutual understanding, thus authentic connection.

    Anyways, I guess this would align with some level of bisexuality? And perhaps we are all bi at some level? I say this given the commonplace arrangement that has been labeled a bromance on the male side of things. Also, looking at the female side I see girls often showing lesbian tendencies towards their friends.

    Sorry if this is insensitive to the + community, still trying to wrap my head around all of that as well.
     
    pancakebaker99 likes this.
  2. pancakebaker99

    pancakebaker99 Fapstronaut

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    Mine is sometimes kind of all over the place but I consider myself straight or may be asexual.
    I was not raped or anything but I did have early sexual encounters with other guys in elementary school and some during my short time in high school. I have never been touched by an adult or someone really old it was by boys in my age range.

    But I still consider myself straight since girls arousal me more for example I only have sexual feelings for guys if they are really nice guys but I don't feel those thoughts are me I think I just like kindness.
     
    Vanquisher12 likes this.
  3. Sean Edie

    Sean Edie Fapstronaut

    I'm straight but got into some gay and shemale porn and that confused me for a while but when I realized that I was only interested in gay sex and not having a relationship with a guy I realized I was straight.
    I do think that anyone can be attracted to both sexes but most people do have a preference one way or the other and that's how you can figure out which way you are
     
    pancakebaker99 likes this.
  4. Usernameallowed

    Usernameallowed Fapstronaut

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    I'm straight ... Used to watch shemale after 18 years of watching straight porn. But watch straight porn again .... Once I got past the female exterior and a weird paradigm I don't get anything from it. I'm romantically and sexually attracted to women not men .. not even a little and not ts .... Watching porn to the point of absurdity and skewed perception escalation and desensitization led me to see some weird fantasy .... Watching porn is just an outlet... Questioned myself when I was watching ts porn but not for long ... Then I got bored of it and realized it is a visual trap ( traps) and the feeling gross and repulsed at the same time is not natural sexual attraction..... But that's all new so you mistake it for arousal .... Got bored ... Quit and took a step back into reality when I watched it in my mind I was the usual dominant straight male and not into dick either so wtf knows why think it was the fact you know they have the same sex drive and look like women and you've watched too much porn that's led you on... I'm a straight man who loves women have watched ts but not gay because I'm not gay Which is weird how ts porn works.... Funny ... But as long as it stays in porn I'm pretty comfortable in my sexuality I wouldn't even class it as bi .. because I'm not sexually attracted to ts it's porn and the visual triggers not something I would chase or even be attracted to in reality... No porn at all I'm 100% straight.... Don't get random boners about dudes in the entirety of my 31 years... only beautiful women Says enough to me
     
  5. Our brains have evolved to recognize beauty. So we recognize it in males and in females.

    But shouldn't we be rational using our brains , as to who we should hook up to.
     
    Vanquisher12 likes this.
  6. I don't get people being bi. Would they even hook up a plastic if they find it attractive.

    This is pure irrational pleasure pursuing, much like porn.
     
  7. iwontfail67

    iwontfail67 Fapstronaut

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    How in the hell is this being bisexual. You're admiring a guys physique because you probably wish you had it yourself. You're able to connect to your mates better because you guys can relate to the same thing. Cmon, I know this is 2021 and literally everything has to do with pride and offended people but why does a normal friendship between males or an admiration for a male physique have to suddenly be considered bisexual. Lets all just all take our social justice hats off for a second, and return back to reality.
     
  8. TONYP

    TONYP Fapstronaut

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    As a gay male, I think you're thinking too hard about this, not to sound insensitive. So you checked a dude - so what? There are times I check out women, but I don't consider it bisexuality. It's just me acknowledging a nice physique and a pretty face when I see one. And as far as connecting with your male friends better, it's because you're a dude. Just relax man, you're good.
     
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  9. You're being tricked, man. Stop consuming whatever + content you're consuming before you start experimenting to prove something to yourself, because you'll create something that wasn't there, which is fine as long as the bubble doesn't burst, but it will at some point.
     
  10. BodhiTree

    BodhiTree Fapstronaut

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    I'm sexual and romantically attracted to woman. But maybe due to porn I have some penis fetishism, but have no desire to kiss or have anything romantic with a man.
     
  11. D-Mystifier

    D-Mystifier Fapstronaut

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    Good observation as to what could be at work here. That being said, it's damn near impossible to ignore +, as it's made it way into the mainstream. I encourage people to speak their truth, as long as it does not discount my own. That being said, I guess I need to more accurate assess what my truth is.
     
  12. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

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    I love this comment, why is so hard for some guys to just admit you can admire other guy's physique and not be turned by it? is like, bro, they are not mutually inclusive, otherwise gym bros are all super gay for admiring freaking Arnold and freaking Ronnie, @D-Mystifier, bro I notice guys all the time, if a guy is specially fit, or well dressed etc, or if a guy is a morbid fat guy, I mean, I literally check people in general, constantly, now, checking a person and be like "yoo maan grrr I would hit that" internally, only happens with women.

    As @TONYP said, I think you are overthinking it too much.
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom likes this.
  13. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Questioning your sexuality is not a good idea while addicted to porn and recovering from porn addiction. Novelty and shock has wired your "lizard brain" away from what you're truly attracted to, but your conscious mind cannot sense this; all it knows is "horny is horny". Give yourself time to fully heal from porn addiction (at least 3-4 years of absolutely no porn and frequent sexual activities/relationships more than half that time) before making any decisions about your sexuality. Engaging in sexual behaviors linked to porn (but not innate to you) can have very lasting effects on your sexual wiring and mental health, which can drive you even farther into sexual activities and scenarios that can be uncomfy, scary, and dangerous.

    Guys and girls check each other out A TON. Porn has taught us "this means you wanna get fucked by them", but it's really just a common biological tick. Checking out a guy's muscle and bulge is a way of gauging friend or foe, dangerous or weak, etc. Girls do this as well. Stopping porn helps with the HOCD in the long term, but also accepting that it's ok to just admire or size up another man physically helps. Worrying about it more makes it worse. Just accept "fuck that guy's got a schlong" or "his abs could cut a steak", don't worry about them, and you'll just forget.

    It is fantastic that you want to connect with your bros and are comfortable sharing hard shit with them. Keep this up and your mental health (and the health of your friends) is going to be stellar in your later adult life. Humans are social creatures; we are meant to find comfort, security, and connection with other humans. The idea that men should not share intimate moments or private issues with each other is a horrible outcome of American capitalist individualism and fear of being gay (or just being seen as gay). FYI this is coming from a straight, white, pussy-loving, and centrist American who loves to wave the red white and blue outside. Tuck your homies in! Share private thoughts when necessary. Talk to them when you're in trouble or feeling down. Don't be afraid to show weakness or inability with them. Fucking cry if it's coming up. It's healthy for you and them to connect in this way. You'd be surprised by how much the biggest, toughest, most "alpha" dudes benefit from a good cry sesh with the bros. Have a great time connecting with your bros, and spread the good word.

    Don't think you're bi bud. You just live in a society where close male friends who are actually connected and intimate with each other (just not physically) is considered gay, which ofc is bad. You're just a healthy, chill dude who wants what best for him and his homies. Feel free to suck on some dudes face or jerk a buddy off, but I really don't think you'll like it.

    PS: Girls might show similar or more frequent "lesbian tendencies", but it's not the same situation. A lot of the time these behaviors are to gain male attention (because males love lesbian sex and therefore it's ok, even good, to be lesbian). Women also tend to have more "inward" and "partner based" arousal than men. For men sex is almost completely outside the body (penis protrudes from the body), but for women sex is about internal physical sensations and connection with a partner. Women therefore tend to get more arousal from how they themselves look and from the connection/intimacy with their partner, and these feelings tend to overlap with close female friends, even in a physical way. Their sexual and social neurons are firing together, even though they don't really wanna fuck their friends (similar to how men can get aroused, and even get boners, during high intensity sports because the neurons that fire during sex for us are also firing).
     
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