SHAME FROM THE PAST ?! HOW TO DEAL WITH IT

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by topilabv, Apr 23, 2019.

  1. topilabv

    topilabv Fapstronaut

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    Hello guys it's been almost a year since I last watched porn. I won't go into details, but like many here after years and years of porn use i got trapped into the shemale porn hole. It did escalate into some gay porn too, but mostly shemale. I even ended up meeting shemale escorts for 3 times. However I always identified myself as straight - i've been inlove with girls, I find them attractive and whenever I see a sexy girl I would feel like a beast who wants to eat her out. I've always been a masculine guy, sports type who is also regularly going to the gym. I'ts been almost a year since I'm free of porn. During that period I was orgasming pretty often, because I was having a girlfriend, and after we broke up I would have sex with other girls too. Oh, yeah another thing - stopping porn also helped me with ED issues, I had before when I was using it.
    So during the year I had ups and downs, I had times when I would feel like Superman and like the king of the wolrd and times when I would feel like shit. I would experience from time to time HOCD thoughts, which I had before starting nofap. Yes, the shemale porn usage made me quesion my sexuality. So even now when i'm sure that I am attracted to only girls I still have from time to time such thoughts. I would also experience shame - mostly from the times when I would jerk off to such sort of porn and also big anxiety when I think about the times when I met the escorts. I know some people say you should let it go or forgive yourself, but I wanted to share this with you guys. Any ideas/tips or advices, on how to deal with the things we did in the past and stop being bothered by them, so we can enjoy our life in the presence??
    Thanks for the time
    Good luck brothers!Stay strong!
     
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  2. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    Hey brother !

    I could be wrong , but I feel if you try and seperate yourself , and your addiction you will realize that your addiction is attracted to shemales , maybe that's just how deep your addiction went, or the road it went down to feel more and more ? Main thing I wanted to say is realize that, you, the real you is probably attracted to woman , but your addiction .( Which is completely separate that who you are ) finds excitement In that . I hope if anything I maybe got you to think of it another way .

    Good luck !
     
  3. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    that's all? i watched porn material that is much worse and shaming than shemales or gays..
    i wish that was my shame and regret, just the shemale porn.. lol

    i support you in your struggle i am also struggling against the addiction.. i am sure being seualy sober will clear the picture for us
     
  4. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    I think you should met a psychologist and try to find out together how to treat this.
     

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