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Shameful side of life(Fetish i never tell anyone)

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Kligor, Nov 12, 2019.

  1. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Even if i stoped jerking off and porn,and i can control myself about fetishes and all,i was thinking in start of nofap that i will beat this forever but,there is still so much emotional pain and fear of future because of this,i don't even know that i can be father one day.This is that thing,i have fetish that have destroy my life,i don't know if anybody of you guys have this fetish but this is really for not talking anyone in real life,that's nightmare.My fetish is i love to be trampled by girls/women,love to be trampled barefoot,in socks,shoes,boots,love to lick and smell feet,and when i watched porn i developed c*ck trampling fetish,be trampled by girl with full weight on c*ck(Enjoy it is in shoes)Is that sick?Even if i like it i confirm it's sick(For me).So i stoped pmo forever(They will be some relapses in future,but it's ok).Now how can i even get married?Which women want to have a man/freak like me?I can't even f*ck her.This fetish destroyed my childhood and teenage period i never had a girl just because of this,i was afraid she will tell anyone,i would be like joke to everyone.I m just realized that i have to live like this i just come to terms with it.I see myself like alone old man without kids and wife forever,alone until i die.
     
    | Nico | and (deleted member) like this.
  2. Correct me if any of these are wrong: In your post, you implied you would like to get married and one day have children. Perhaps you can find a woman who is into the same things you are? Or get them to enjoy it if they weren't into it in the first place. I found that once I got married, my wife was quite malleable to my views. I never told her what to think, but perhaps she just picked it up. And we were born and raised on the opposite sides of the world, quite literally. You shouldn't give up. Keep looking. If it's that important to you, take some vacation and travel the world to find the right woman.
     
    | Nico |, marr708, george53 and 2 others like this.
  3. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I've made a thread for getting rid of femdom addiction.
     
    | Nico | and Kligor like this.
  4. there are people with far worse and sicker fetishes living normal lives. by sicker i just mean more... intense, i guess? bdsm and excrement type stuff comes to mind lmao. while i can't talk for femdom fetishes, i do remember hearing somewhere that if you stay away from PMO, the things that used to get you off (especially fetishes) slowly fade away. i'm sure there are people out there who can prove/disprove this, but i remember this somewhat being the case for me when i hit a month (while ago lol)

    like, you'll still think that something turns you on but it won't dominate and control every aspect of your life. youll have more control over it. having your own fun things you enjoy doing in the bedroom isn't problematic (if im correct). but letting it control your life and completely brainwash you is a huge problem. luckily that's what we're all trying to do: quit PMO and get over that control

    my 2 cents, i think you can have a family and be a good parent and a well rounded person, but enjoy having your own things that get you off. keep it ethical and civil and you're fine. the number one thing i can tell you is to stay off PMO and let your brain fix itself. who knows, these fetishes might not even interest you down the line

    all the best bro
     
  5. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Thank you guys,I appreciate that you give me answer,yes they are a lot more worst fetish(I m aware of that).I would be infinity happy if i find women who is in same water as me,that can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack,but it is very possible.I have less problem with this fetish now after so long,but it is still here,and i think fetish can never be change.Yes i overthink this thing(Always have a problem to even try to find girlfriend)but since i started nofap i never think of that sexualy/edging.In last year+ i just make my mindset to work like this(To keep it secret and hide).Thanks a lot,i just have few major questions and i will appreciate if you answer to me.
    -Is it better to not keep this as secret anymore(I mean when i have girlfriend,i don't think to just go out and tell everyone xD)?I know that is normal to have fetish and like crazy things,but i don't know what you think about this,but for me it's shameful,but i know i have power to truly present myself.Overall i just have to jump out from shadow be 100% myself?
     
  6. You cant decide what to like and not, like others said, as long as you dont intentionally hurt others, then its cool.

    I mean, I have/had a weird thing (maybe not fetish but still) myself, I always have liked seeing girls gain weight, like the opposite of most men on earth.
    I absolutely love girls who are a bit out of shape, and those who just are too lazy to work out etc.
    This is weird, and I dont want to like it.

    This ”fetish” had me using pictures online of my GF who is pretty chubby, luring guys on a fetish site that I was the girl in the picture, just to hear them ”confirm” or you know, say the things I so much would have wanted to do myself.

    This made me feel sick, and I managed to stop after telling her about it.
    So she knows about what I did, but she (and my therapist) believe it was a coping mechanism for a LOT of more or less horrible stuff i have been going through earlier, and that I tried to hide my emotions (sadness, grief, anxiety).
    That made me realise that I didnt really like doing that, it was just a way to really draw attention away from my real issues.

    This was when I was like 22, young and dumb and I wouldnt do it again, but I still have the preferences for chubby girls, wich turned out to make my GF feel much more beautiful in her skin.
    What I did was dumb, but no one got hurt, I was lucky I suppose, that I managed to tell her and stop.

    What im trying to say is, fetishes and stupid behaviour that MIGHT hurt someone or yourself, can also end up being completely harmless in your specific context, even if its just luck.

    What if youd meet someone who likes the same things as you do?
    People do/like all kinds of crazy shit, at least when theyre young, dont be too hard on yourself.

    Try to abstain for a long time, if its porn induced it will surely fade away.
     
    | Nico |, Kligor and (deleted member) like this.
  7. george53

    george53 Fapstronaut

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    *potential triggers*

    When I was watching a lot of porn, I was experiencing a really strong desire for femdom off all kind (espacially feet) but also trampling. When I started to slide into more f*cked up things (like porn when you are the women and she is the man) I decided it was time to stop. Now I can tell you about my situation. I still like a bit of femdom from time to time, and I still enjoy feet, but it's less stronger than before and I can totally get turned on by simply the idea of fucking.

    From time to time I slide back into this femdom desire but it's way weaker than before, and I mean it's more of a "healthy" thing. When I'm with a women I like her to dominate when we're playing around, but when it comes to f*cking I love to dominate by pulling her hair, slapping her ass, something I would never imagine possible when I was addicted to PMO.

    All this to tell your fetish will probably become less extreme. If parts of it remain, don't worry you will be able to find a women who enjoys it.
     
  8. P0rm does some weird things to our brain...weird fetishes & weird actions. I'm currently doing okay at keeping away from it all on this streak; but towards the end of our last binge (my wife and I started watching it together) I devolved a fascination for Double Vaginal Penetration (watched every clip there was, started a Twitter & Xhamster account dedicated to it) and I almost convinced my wife to try it with another man.

    Of course I love my wife and would probably feel awful afterwards if it ever happened, but I was getting so turned on by the p0rn - VISUALLY - of a vagina being stretched open in an unnatural way, that even during normal sex with my wife I would find myself watching those videos and using substitutes during our sex together.

    Of course now I'm banging my head thinking how dumb the fetish is, it's PMO playing a VISUAL trick on us, it's now the PHYSICAL and EMOTIONAL aspect of sex that I want to get back to with my wife. Fetishes & fantasies will disappear the longer we abstain from PMO.
     
  9. SREENII

    SREENII Fapstronaut

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    it's very difficult to find such a woman
     
    | Nico | likes this.
  10. george53

    george53 Fapstronaut

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    Quite difficult indeed but if you manage to found her, man you're probably gonna live the dream
     
    | Nico | likes this.
  11. george53

    george53 Fapstronaut

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    Interesting, you remind me that I also add a thing with vaginas being penetrated by huge dicks or huge objects. I was kinda imagining the pleasure the woman would get from it. Looking back at it I also find it dumb af.

    But about your last sentence I think that if a fetish isn't porn-induced you will still have it, maybe it will be less extreme tho. Anyway in my opinion, having a fetish isn't necesserly a bad thing as long as you can still enjoy regular sex
     
    | Nico | and (deleted member) like this.

  12. I've often wondered if I'd have developed the fetish unless I'd seen it p0rn though??! And I also wonder if it would have been something I would have done if I'd never watched p0rn, would I have ended up having a threesome and wanting my dick inside a vagina next to another guy's? :p:rolleyes:
     
    george53 likes this.
  13. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Yes,my fetish isn't porn induced.I was 6-7 years old when i realized that trampling and feet turn me around,i was 12 or 13 when started pmo.But i doesn't like tits and ass,like i said i don't know if i can f*ck or not,i never try before.But about this fetish i m not so addicted like i was before,i have no problem with this,but it is still here(heavily reduced) and i think it will never go away complete.
     
    | Nico | and (deleted member) like this.
  14. User019365

    User019365 Fapstronaut

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    That’s what porns done to your mind stay away from it bro
     
  15. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Yes porn make things much worse but,even before i watched porns i like those things,i never been attracted to any other things.
     
    | Nico | and (deleted member) like this.
  16. User019365

    User019365 Fapstronaut

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    All starts in your mind you have to tell yourself I don’t like it I was confused I like normal sex etc
     
    | Nico | likes this.
  17. If I get you right, then that's not disgusting nor bad fetish. What matters is that you don't harm innocent people, animals or kids. You're no pedo or zoophile or whatever kind of brainless maniac. This shit doesnt seem to be sick, at least to me and as I said - if I get it right.
    We all have fetishes and weird shit going on with our lives. It's just normal to be different and have different tastes.
    Only problem may be is that it all may reflect on your relationships (?). Your other half might try to trample you mentaly or something. Cause similar shit applies to love towards milfs - insecurity and lack of dominance or smth.
     
  18. primaljade

    primaljade Fapstronaut

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    I recommend to stop worrying about it. Everyone has fantasies, if a woman was actually stomping on your penis, you probably won't actually enjoy the reality of it. Focus on abstaining from PMO, and learn to be fine with fetishes, since girls that are right for you will be fine with it. A lover of mine loves using her feet on me, and couldn't imagine being with a woman that would have such irrational judgement to find it disgusting.

    Be thankful you don't have a fetish with legal/moral/health issues:
    Agreed.

    Totally disagree. Nearly all of the women I've been with were kinky in some way, and have elaborate fantasies amenable to playing with fetishes.
     
    | Nico |, fedmom, Kligor and 2 others like this.
  19. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    You people really bring me hope,that's not sick as i think i was,but neither good,but im done with it.I will try to find girlfriend,it will be good if God say yes,thanks.
     
    | Nico | and (deleted member) like this.
  20. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    This is true but my relationships haven't lasted very long. It was partly because I had agoraphobia but I had no interest in sex. If you go any further than foot fetish or facesitting you are going too extreme and can cause long lasting mental damage. Although the op's fetish probably won't cause severe mental damage.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2019
    | Nico | likes this.

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