WeWillNeverFall
Fapstronaut
Hello guys... Finally I have the guts to share my story here and repent what I did in my past. BTW I'm not really good in English.
I was born in a very beautiful family and my family is somehow wealthy at that time. I was very naughty since I was young, and I often didn’t listen to my parents that made then pissed. I remember that when I was very young, I started playing games, and I often played without sleeping, especially when my parents went out to work. I remember the first time I was interested in "sex" when I watched a song's MV, where the kissing scene... I really know nothing about sex at that time, but that really made me feel pleasure thinking about boy and girl being togather... Since that time, I have started some sexual fantasies. I imagined the scene of boys and girls, although I still don't understand sex.
Everything happened to a Cambodian maid who came to our house. She came from a poor family and was a very well-behaved, hardworking and kind girl. At that time, I was about 13 years old, she was a few years older. My mother is very good to her, I was jealous at that time. She may not have a TV at home, so sometimes my parents will invite her to watch a movie at home. I was very jealous at that time. What kind of person I'm. Sometimes I will bully her with friends who come to play at home. Although it is not physical bullying, we will make fun of her. Sometimes I will criticize her in front of my parents. I am such a jerk...
Once I had a bad idea about her. At that time, although I didn't know about the real sex, I didn't know the thing between men and women. But I actually want to invade her. At first I still have a little conscience and I don't dare to do that. But at that time, because my parents often went out, my sister also went to tutoring. I used to be alone at home with her. At that time, my head began planning how to invade her. I tried to approach her with her, plan to play with her. She was very happy with me at that time, and then once I had the opportunity, I did a very bad and unspoken thing for her, at the time she is resist . After the first time, whenever the parents are not there. I will go to invade her. She was very pitiful and helpless at that time. She cried a few times... but still she treat me nice, she is a real good person. I asked her not to tell my parents, how shameless behavior, I hate myself. Once I gave her a slap in the face, she was so sad that she slept in the warehouse outside the house. I lied to my mother at that time saying that she made a mistake. Because her english is not very good, she can only say a few words. So she is often silently bear. Every time I invade her, I feel guilty about her, but these seem to be the tears of crocodiles, I am scum. This is what I was, treat good people like shi*, fuc**** horrible person.
This has been going on for a year, and finally because the language is more difficult to communicate, parents decide not to hire her anymore. This is really a very good thing for her. I begged her to forgive me before she left. She accepted my apology. After she went back, I lived in fear and fear every day for a while, and I was afraid that she would report me when she went back. She could, but she didn't. What a fuc**** piece of shi* I'm.
If there is somehow someone who have an intention to hurt, rape, invade, whatever. Or maybe you treat a good person very bad ((well that's me or some bad things in your life. No metter who the person is, please STOP, let me share about what will come after you if you don't. Well there is law out there, police, whatever, but somehow we maybe are lucky to escape from it, like me. But there is a thing that will NEVER LET YOU GO, your conscience. You can lie to yourself, paralysis your brain, but inside your heart you know you will going to live with that pain ! You live with fear, regretful and anxiety. Whenever you see those good people walking on the road and having a good life, you will be eager to have never made those mistakes. One more thing that will came after you is call "karma", the cause and effect. I don't know if people believe on this. But I'm here to tell you that this really happend to me. Somehow I'm was not ugly, but since I did that, my appearance did change a lot. I looks real ugly and stinky. My eye, my nose, mouth, looks real damn ugly, unconcious everyday, looks real worst then PMO for 10years. While I go everywhere, everyone dislike me. I have no luck at all. You life turn up-side-down, the life just feels suck.I used to get many many A in school, but after that I can't even study well, failed in many exam, totally a failure. All the bad things (too much to tell...) never happened to me before I hurt her. My personality became like shi*, like a real piece of shi*. I wish I was never born. You did something bad, bad things came after you, it's just like that simple. You punch the wall, your hand get hurt.
If I were never invade her, instead I use all the energy and time to do something good, study, exercise. My life will be totally different. This is the simple law of nature... the karma. Just don't against it with your precious life and time... same nature law goes to PMO.
Althrough I started to assist lots of charitable, I pray for her, I wish she can hear me... my life started to change abit the reason I feels my heart turn good day by day after I join charity program...but I can't never forgive myself...
Fellow friends... I wish to be judge, to be scold... humiliation... I had dishonor my family... One thing... choose to do the thing that you won't regret one day. Ask yourself about that before you make any decision...
Sorry Memo, sorry for everyting....
I was born in a very beautiful family and my family is somehow wealthy at that time. I was very naughty since I was young, and I often didn’t listen to my parents that made then pissed. I remember that when I was very young, I started playing games, and I often played without sleeping, especially when my parents went out to work. I remember the first time I was interested in "sex" when I watched a song's MV, where the kissing scene... I really know nothing about sex at that time, but that really made me feel pleasure thinking about boy and girl being togather... Since that time, I have started some sexual fantasies. I imagined the scene of boys and girls, although I still don't understand sex.
Everything happened to a Cambodian maid who came to our house. She came from a poor family and was a very well-behaved, hardworking and kind girl. At that time, I was about 13 years old, she was a few years older. My mother is very good to her, I was jealous at that time. She may not have a TV at home, so sometimes my parents will invite her to watch a movie at home. I was very jealous at that time. What kind of person I'm. Sometimes I will bully her with friends who come to play at home. Although it is not physical bullying, we will make fun of her. Sometimes I will criticize her in front of my parents. I am such a jerk...
Once I had a bad idea about her. At that time, although I didn't know about the real sex, I didn't know the thing between men and women. But I actually want to invade her. At first I still have a little conscience and I don't dare to do that. But at that time, because my parents often went out, my sister also went to tutoring. I used to be alone at home with her. At that time, my head began planning how to invade her. I tried to approach her with her, plan to play with her. She was very happy with me at that time, and then once I had the opportunity, I did a very bad and unspoken thing for her, at the time she is resist . After the first time, whenever the parents are not there. I will go to invade her. She was very pitiful and helpless at that time. She cried a few times... but still she treat me nice, she is a real good person. I asked her not to tell my parents, how shameless behavior, I hate myself. Once I gave her a slap in the face, she was so sad that she slept in the warehouse outside the house. I lied to my mother at that time saying that she made a mistake. Because her english is not very good, she can only say a few words. So she is often silently bear. Every time I invade her, I feel guilty about her, but these seem to be the tears of crocodiles, I am scum. This is what I was, treat good people like shi*, fuc**** horrible person.
This has been going on for a year, and finally because the language is more difficult to communicate, parents decide not to hire her anymore. This is really a very good thing for her. I begged her to forgive me before she left. She accepted my apology. After she went back, I lived in fear and fear every day for a while, and I was afraid that she would report me when she went back. She could, but she didn't. What a fuc**** piece of shi* I'm.
If there is somehow someone who have an intention to hurt, rape, invade, whatever. Or maybe you treat a good person very bad ((well that's me or some bad things in your life. No metter who the person is, please STOP, let me share about what will come after you if you don't. Well there is law out there, police, whatever, but somehow we maybe are lucky to escape from it, like me. But there is a thing that will NEVER LET YOU GO, your conscience. You can lie to yourself, paralysis your brain, but inside your heart you know you will going to live with that pain ! You live with fear, regretful and anxiety. Whenever you see those good people walking on the road and having a good life, you will be eager to have never made those mistakes. One more thing that will came after you is call "karma", the cause and effect. I don't know if people believe on this. But I'm here to tell you that this really happend to me. Somehow I'm was not ugly, but since I did that, my appearance did change a lot. I looks real ugly and stinky. My eye, my nose, mouth, looks real damn ugly, unconcious everyday, looks real worst then PMO for 10years. While I go everywhere, everyone dislike me. I have no luck at all. You life turn up-side-down, the life just feels suck.I used to get many many A in school, but after that I can't even study well, failed in many exam, totally a failure. All the bad things (too much to tell...) never happened to me before I hurt her. My personality became like shi*, like a real piece of shi*. I wish I was never born. You did something bad, bad things came after you, it's just like that simple. You punch the wall, your hand get hurt.
If I were never invade her, instead I use all the energy and time to do something good, study, exercise. My life will be totally different. This is the simple law of nature... the karma. Just don't against it with your precious life and time... same nature law goes to PMO.
Althrough I started to assist lots of charitable, I pray for her, I wish she can hear me... my life started to change abit the reason I feels my heart turn good day by day after I join charity program...but I can't never forgive myself...
Fellow friends... I wish to be judge, to be scold... humiliation... I had dishonor my family... One thing... choose to do the thing that you won't regret one day. Ask yourself about that before you make any decision...
Sorry Memo, sorry for everyting....
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