Hank Moody 99
Fapstronaut
So my real name is Luka and i have very strong HOCD.Reason why I started sharing its because I started reading book about PMO addiction its called "Wack Addicted To Internet Porn".
I have very low motivation and will power about conquering this addiction.I don t' how I lost it but I think its because of relapsing.6 months i am trying to leave PMO but its no use.Even now still i can't motivate myself to start changing.I even have very low self-esteem and strong anxiety even sometimes panic attacks.Sharing with people, I don't like kind of doing that not that I am scared(well a little bit because of anxiety) but because friends wouldn't understand my struggle.I told one of my friends about my addiction and HOCD and he told me that he had too and his answer was just leave PMO and everything will get back to normal but problem is I have strong urges who I can't control.When i was doing PMO it was normal porn genres but then it started changing was watching incest I was like am I really into this but then I said its just porn no big deal.But then it started to change granny,bbw,animated(I always told myself why why would i mastrubate do this its not real.When I was watching animated porn I saw futanari genre and my reaction was this is weird very weird and then i saw transwoman porn video when i watched it I felt disgusted,fear,confusion and paranoia(I never was against gay people neither BI so don't think I am homophobia or something.).Then all started HOCD its almost a year i am struggling with this.NO ONE I MEAN NO ONE should have this much pain and suffering is too damn much.Then I saw NoFap post about it and realized that it is because of addiction to porn.I started doing Nofap and watching youtube videos of Noah B.E. Church and I am starting to change my life step by step and fight this demon.
I was thinking after two weeks of not doing PMO I will change environment and go 2 or 3 week somewhere peaceful.I don't know but i think 99% i have ED because I never had sex with a girl because of anxiety I even didn't go out not that I don't like going its just anxiety toke over my life I always dreamed of having relationship with a girl not just sex more than that emotional connection but because of PMO all this years i wasted on computer and not going out.Before when I didn't do PMO i was never interested into it.I watched porn here and there but not going 40 tabs ,one hour looking for best video ...Reason why I started because all my friends watched it and talking about it .I don't know I think I just felt left out because I am not into that.I always was more for real intimacy.But one day I started doing PMO and then I know I was hooked..
I trust my self and ready to commit to new way of life.
We can climb out of hell one inch at a time just need to hold on.
This is my story ,thank you for reading it and good luck on your journey.
I have very low motivation and will power about conquering this addiction.I don t' how I lost it but I think its because of relapsing.6 months i am trying to leave PMO but its no use.Even now still i can't motivate myself to start changing.I even have very low self-esteem and strong anxiety even sometimes panic attacks.Sharing with people, I don't like kind of doing that not that I am scared(well a little bit because of anxiety) but because friends wouldn't understand my struggle.I told one of my friends about my addiction and HOCD and he told me that he had too and his answer was just leave PMO and everything will get back to normal but problem is I have strong urges who I can't control.When i was doing PMO it was normal porn genres but then it started changing was watching incest I was like am I really into this but then I said its just porn no big deal.But then it started to change granny,bbw,animated(I always told myself why why would i mastrubate do this its not real.When I was watching animated porn I saw futanari genre and my reaction was this is weird very weird and then i saw transwoman porn video when i watched it I felt disgusted,fear,confusion and paranoia(I never was against gay people neither BI so don't think I am homophobia or something.).Then all started HOCD its almost a year i am struggling with this.NO ONE I MEAN NO ONE should have this much pain and suffering is too damn much.Then I saw NoFap post about it and realized that it is because of addiction to porn.I started doing Nofap and watching youtube videos of Noah B.E. Church and I am starting to change my life step by step and fight this demon.
I was thinking after two weeks of not doing PMO I will change environment and go 2 or 3 week somewhere peaceful.I don't know but i think 99% i have ED because I never had sex with a girl because of anxiety I even didn't go out not that I don't like going its just anxiety toke over my life I always dreamed of having relationship with a girl not just sex more than that emotional connection but because of PMO all this years i wasted on computer and not going out.Before when I didn't do PMO i was never interested into it.I watched porn here and there but not going 40 tabs ,one hour looking for best video ...Reason why I started because all my friends watched it and talking about it .I don't know I think I just felt left out because I am not into that.I always was more for real intimacy.But one day I started doing PMO and then I know I was hooked..
I trust my self and ready to commit to new way of life.
We can climb out of hell one inch at a time just need to hold on.
This is my story ,thank you for reading it and good luck on your journey.