Toni7
Fapstronaut
I would like for people here to share storyes and give each other a support so we can grow together in recovery. And maybe tell what we expetc of our lives in future.
1. I live in a beautifull city with great weather. But that doesn't matter becaouse I make my days dark.
My life is messy. I live in unfinished hause with parents.. this city doesn't offer my much. And that is present. I live my life that I don't like or enjoy. I uses to play sports and compite. But life didn't allow me that and for very young age because of number of things (maybe adhd, maybe bad food, sure bad situvation in my fammily, povery, parents without plan..) I have developt addiction to mastrubating. Firts it was a game. Than it becomes something I would always do. I was doing it so often so many times for years and years..
In that time I belive I wasnt really in sports anymore (I was comming back all the time).. I chose one that was not popular so conditions weren't best.
I was skinny have acne no money.. I was bullied also(I belive I still am with my parents who doesn't let me live). Had a lot of stresses. I become man with low self esteem. And I reliesed I have a problem. That make me even worse.
I did have time when I made 90+ days. Find a girlfriend( my future wife (long distance relathionship)) got stronger.
I could make my life better 7 days maybe 20 days maybe 3 days maybe 30 days.. but in the end it all become worse. I have internet now. Now after mastrubation I can get new dopamine from porn and continue. Like and addict who overdose. So I do everything in my life to make it harder. Insted to help myself I harm myself.
This could be trrigering now: I have a girlfriend and my goal ia to wait until marrige but I allready did break that.. so I would just say this I want to be healthy when we start living together. I don't want to have premature ejaculation, low energy, PIED, low tostesterone.
Goal is to know that its nessery to move first thing in the morring no matter how I feel. Earn enough money to fiinish my projecst for now. Get back in the sport and remove things I need to let go. Chose my carrere. To have high testosteron, get back to God
Eat sleep train learn new stuff.
I want to be ready for my marrige.
To finnaly stand up to myself. Not always be nice to everybody. Not to be a victim becaouse I know there is something wrong with me that is stronger then me.
Thanks for reading!
1. I live in a beautifull city with great weather. But that doesn't matter becaouse I make my days dark.
My life is messy. I live in unfinished hause with parents.. this city doesn't offer my much. And that is present. I live my life that I don't like or enjoy. I uses to play sports and compite. But life didn't allow me that and for very young age because of number of things (maybe adhd, maybe bad food, sure bad situvation in my fammily, povery, parents without plan..) I have developt addiction to mastrubating. Firts it was a game. Than it becomes something I would always do. I was doing it so often so many times for years and years..
2. Realisation
Somewhere when I was in school maybe 14 years old I have reliased it was bad and it was messing up my health. I did't have internet so in order to watch porn I have to find ways.. awefull.
In that time I belive I wasnt really in sports anymore (I was comming back all the time).. I chose one that was not popular so conditions weren't best.
I was skinny have acne no money.. I was bullied also(I belive I still am with my parents who doesn't let me live). Had a lot of stresses. I become man with low self esteem. And I reliesed I have a problem. That make me even worse.
3. Ups and downs
I did have time when I made 90+ days. Find a girlfriend( my future wife (long distance relathionship)) got stronger.
I could make my life better 7 days maybe 20 days maybe 3 days maybe 30 days.. but in the end it all become worse. I have internet now. Now after mastrubation I can get new dopamine from porn and continue. Like and addict who overdose. So I do everything in my life to make it harder. Insted to help myself I harm myself.
4. Goals
I want to finnish hause so I can at least say I don't live in same apartment with my parents.This could be trrigering now: I have a girlfriend and my goal ia to wait until marrige but I allready did break that.. so I would just say this I want to be healthy when we start living together. I don't want to have premature ejaculation, low energy, PIED, low tostesterone.
Goal is to know that its nessery to move first thing in the morring no matter how I feel. Earn enough money to fiinish my projecst for now. Get back in the sport and remove things I need to let go. Chose my carrere. To have high testosteron, get back to God
Eat sleep train learn new stuff.
I want to be ready for my marrige.
To finnaly stand up to myself. Not always be nice to everybody. Not to be a victim becaouse I know there is something wrong with me that is stronger then me.
Thanks for reading!