Sharing with NoFap.

I have seen a number of threads relating to picking up women, tips on how to score and get "chicks" to like you, etc ,etc.

Can I just point out that this thinking is poisonous and that as self-aware creatures, we are not slaves to our sexual appetite as some of us may believe.

Developing sexual relationships during a recovery process is probably the last thing that we need. Support, of course, but a girlfriend/boyfriend, perhaps not.

Striving for anything outside of ourselves to find pleasure and happiness is what led us here in the first place, no? Instead of facing our fears and problems we ran to PMO to save the day. It may have seemed to work for a time but now, as we are learning, that is not the case.

The problem here is not that we are not good enough, or attractive enough, or charming enough, or smart enough, the list goes; the problem is that we do not love ourselves for who we are. So we drown ourselves in fantasy and ambition, hoping that we can at least dream of a better life one day. What we fail to see is that opportunity is here right now, because NOW is the only thing that is truly available to us. The past is gone and the future is created by our thoughts. Those feelings transpire into our "future". What I mean is: if we are sad in the present, then we will only see a sad future because that is how we feel NOW. Instead of focusing on why we are feeling a certain way presently, we scheme of a way to escape that feeling with idealistic thoughts of our lives.

This got off track but to connect the dots, sexual success does not equate to worth.

Consider how much time we spend on our sexual desires.
What are the things we truly aspire to beyond that?
How can we best contribute to the growth of the world as a whole, Nature included?
Ask yourself some appropriate questions and you might be surprised what you come up with.

 

When we say those things to ourselves it translates to, "I am in need of support and that is how I perceive the kind of help I desire". Some of us may not have family, friends or anyone of accountability in our lives so we run towards a partnership and it becomes tainted with idealism because we are looking for an escape, as I mentioned before. My suggestion to NoFap is: do the 90 days and build up to things like dating, do not just reach for it as a solution. If one cannot make it past a month of discipline, how do you expect to build a relationship?

 

You nailed it Fapstronaut. Well done and good for you. Our greatest potential lies in loving the self first.