She keeps texting me...

That very true @switex !

Really thankful that you guys make me understand it is time to stop. I never want to hurt people, and when I like someone I always want to make sure I am there for them. I guess she abused my good will there. I wanted to make sure she knew I liked her, she could "come back", but if she wanted it should have been her that made the effort this time, not me repeating the effort over and over again. At the same time, showing that she could "come back", is just showing no respect to myself, after how she ignored me...

Me wanting to never hurt people and make sure they are welcome with me comes with friends and family too. But I guess that is a part that can easly be abused, if you don't have your eyes open like me. At least my friends and family respect me back, and are a good support for me!

If she ever text me again, I won't answer. I won't contact her. If she wanted something serious, she can regret she did not do something before. I gave her too many chances to come back, which made me look weak and with no respect for myself. Really thankful that you guys made me understand that. Even tho I like making people happy, I deserve specially when it comes to relationship a person that are willing to make me happy too, not just abusing me wanting to take care of them in any way.

I actually regret I asked her to join me for the hike yesterday. But thats just a very small part of the big picture, so I won't think too much about that.

I should maybe have listened or understood this before too, but at least I hope (think) I have learnt! And won't do or keep doing the same mistake again.

 

Good point! It was my first time I thougth I would enter any relationship. Never been in one.

There is still a lot to learn for me regarding being in relationship and dating. I guess I just had my first lessons. I won't look at it as waste of time, even tho it did not work out. Even tho it may have "damaged" my time and I could spent it on something more useful. I think this may have been a lesson that I needed for my future, even tho it is a brutal lesson, at least for me when it comes to feelings.

I think I needed a wake up call to, that not everything can be controlled as I want it to be. I always plan stuff, and I guess I can't plan a relationship, at least not as much as I guess I thougth.

I guess I maybe don't miss her anymore really, but I miss the feeling she gave me at the start and when everything felt great. The time she actually made an effort too. But that changed in a very short time suddenly, and I don't know why. Maybe I did something wrong, maybe I did not, maybe we was not ment to be. But at least I did never hurt her as she did to me! So I won't blame myself in anyway anymore. I used to blame myself for maybe being to needy, but that can't be correct in my opinion, when I just wanted to see her at least 1 time per week, or tried to talk with her about when we could and not. I did not expect at this month at least for us to be able to hang out more, but maybe have more time for each other later.

I guess it is wrong to blame both her and me. People want different things, and maybe she understood that we were more different then I understood. Maybe she had other reasons, but at least - I was just being myself, and if she can't accept how I act, shes not the rigth one for me, and I should not blame myself for that (had some problems with blaming myself, but not really sure if that blame was placed at the correct reasons too - but I can't blame myself for being me).

(I hope you people understand me, I won't run after her anymore, but I will still miss the feelings she gave me when things actually worked out. That is why it is so hard to let go for me, because there was actually a time she too made effort and made me feel happy too. So it is difficult for me to understand, how everything could be so perfect then change so fast - after what I understood, she had feelings too - That is atleast what she told and showed me. Because the last time we were together she actually told she liked me, and did not want me to leave - even tho I had to. So it is difficult to process, why things changed after that meeting, when that went so great, the way we ended it too).