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She thinks I'm a "Playa" but..

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Warrior 321, Dec 28, 2020.

  1. Warrior 321

    Warrior 321 Fapstronaut

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    Ok so here's my long story short:

    Been addicted to Porn and MOE for almost 9 years now. Experience Erection issues for 6 years now and have failed/relapsed countless times.

    During my failures I developed an even worse habit of Ejaculation/Orgasm with a Flaccid dick. I have somehow over the last 3 years trained my system to get off in a flaccid state and now my body seems to enjoy flaccid EO more than Erect EO. I seldom get full strength erections and even when I do they last for a few minutes maximum.

    So recently I've been reading self help stuff and made friends with a guy who is Very good with women. Based on my readings and his advice I've changed my approach to women and so far the changes have been pretty positive. I'm feeling confidence I never felt before when it comes to females.

    So recently I asked out this petite restaurant girl I usually pick up dinners from. I felt some chemistry and so asked her number and she gave it to me. Turns out this girl is a freak (recently got out of a long relationship so this might have something to do with it) and wants to jump on my dick. Doesn't help that I've been using my friend's flirting advice brilliantly and she seems to think of me as a "fuckboy" and really wants me to fuck her (she's already discussing positions given our height difference)

    Now I am very much attracted to her and have been having hard dreams about her too but I'm afraid the chickens might come home to roost because she plans on spending the last few days of this year at my place just with me.

    I'm currently just 4 days into my latest edition of "I quit" and this time am backing up my resolve with the following good habits:
    - Sleeping on time
    - No electronic item used unless for legitimate reasons (for instance using Laptop to send out resumes and using Cell phone to call, text, etc.)
    - Developing reading habit
    - Going for daily 30 min runs
    - Trying to eat healthy
    - Focusing primarily on my career goals.

    I don't want to lose this Golden chance to get sex for the first time. She's super sexy and I'm thinking of getting Sildenafil to help me out because I so badly want to enjoy carnal pleasures with her.

    Any advise or feedback is appreciated. Thank you
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Too much too soon. Date her, have sex with her and move on with your life. Date her again a few days or later or even a week and repeat. It doesn't matter she plans on been with you several days. Tell her that you can date her but you are busy doing other things, don't let her use all of your time. If you are too available to her she is going to get bored of you pritty quicky.

    Then do that, don't play boyfriend and spend several days with her. Go out, have a few drinks, go back to your place or hers.. have fun in the beddroom all nigth long if you want and maybe in the morning, but in the morning let her go.

    With your friend advice you seduced this girl, you can do it again with other woman. Don't think as this one as a golden oportunity, it's just going to be another one of a lot you are going to get in 2021.

    I don't recomend it but have it close too you for emergency reasons if you feel like it. Try to have sex without it, if you cant get hard then you can procced and use it.
     
  3. you'll probably fail because you attach too much importance to the outcome.
    So whether you want it or not you will act as if you don't want to lose this girl, which is a problem because you can't be free if you have expectations. But on the other hand, this is a good thing, you will learn.

    My advice is to not hide your feelings and emotions. Express your vulnerability. Don't try to push away these negative thoughts. This fear of losing this girl. Don't try to act against nature. Accept if fully, embrace it and act according to your values and not your ego.

    You don't need to add anything to who you are. Whether you have sex or not, you are complete as a person. It's better to just not care and enjoy every moment. Even if you don't see this girl again and you "fail".
    You will have no regrets.

    Focus on yourself, not the outside because you can't control the girl's reaction. Not the future because you can't know what's gonna happen.
     
  4. Warrior 321

    Warrior 321 Fapstronaut

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    No offense dude but I'm over the "I'm gonna wait until marriage" phase. I did have that mindset for a very long time but not anymore. I respect people's personal decisions and good for you if you feel that way but I don't think I'm in that camp anymore.

    The biggest reason I got over my hang up over waiting for the "right one" until the wedding night is because one of my biggest fears is if I marry as a Virgin and find out that my wife has a more colorful past than me then it'll be a guillotine to my confidence and will probably set me on a very negative path (sorry I can't help this though process maybe because I had a very conservative upbringing)
     
  5. Nº 9

    Nº 9 Fapstronaut

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    Kid

    Wisdom comes at a price. If you dont payed the price, you dont disurb that wisdom.
    Learn that for life

    You dont jump into a F1 racetrack if you dont know how to drive. So you are in for a little show now, buddy. Get it? You borrowed your "playa" friends knowledge and used it with this girl and worked! but... you are not your friend.

    I can give you an advice that is going to solve this problem the best way possible, and get you out of this trouble with less harm.
    But is going to be hard to do it!

    Let her come into your place. Chill out. Just chill out, relax.
    Have her around, try to enjoy be around her. Talk with her, try to get in a place when you feel comfortable with her around. Try to develop a familiarity with her as soon as posible. Get comfortable. Joke, be funny, be open. Give her some kisses, some massage, prepare some dinner for her, play something with her and so ... You get it? Be lovely with her :3 Make out with her, a lot. Girls dig it!

    So, when things get too horny (and if you follow my advice it will), when things get too hot for both of you, you stop her, look her in the eyes and say:
    "I got something to tell you xxx(insert name here), I know I look like a player and a fuckboy but is not like that. I AM A VIRGIN ACTUALLY"

    Say the truth to her. Be open and direct and confident. Do that, and let her handle things from that. "I want to have my first time with you, do you want to?".

    There is 2 things that she could say:
    -No
    -Yes

    If she says "no" then there is no problem for you, because there is not going to happen anyways.
    If she says "yes" wich is the worst case scenario for you, because now you need to perform... then say to her "Ok but I want you to teach me how to give you an orgasm!" (with this you make sure she is going to enjoy too)

    Thats all.

    PS: Dont forget to kiss that p*ssy, bro. And I mean a goooooood long kiss, with patience!
    hit me up when you done it
     
  6. I respect your decision.

    However, what you are saying is nonsense. You will be paralyzed with fear because you have never been in a relationship. You don't even know what you want and what you don't want with a woman. If you have never been with a woman in your life you will be afraid, you won't even know how to communicate your sexual and emotional intentions. Because you have no experience. Simple as that. It's like playing piano for the first time or starting a sport or playing a video game you've never played before. You're lost at the beginning.

    In life you have to experience things to make up your mind. it's not just believing you know but going out of your comfort zone to question your beliefs. That's how we learn and move forward. It's not the same thing to believe you know out of ego and to go out and experience life, rejection, to welcome what life has to teach you. I've been rejected more than 3000 times and I've also ignored girls before I turned 20. I've done both.

    Dating is something that can be learned. I see so many guys telling me that they are waiting for a woman to get married when deep down they are full of ego, jealousy and insecurity. In fact, you were the first one to criticize my journal and be jealous of the fact that I approach women on the street.
    While my intentions are honest and centered on self-love rather than having more to fill an inner void. It's literally assuming your vulnerability and overcoming fear to talk to a woman. Not begging for sex. It's the opposite.
    So ask yourself the question of the image it gives you.

    I believe that you are afraid to go outside your comfort zone and make efforts so you project your own insecurities and tell other people to stay inside of their comfort zone. Believing you make the right choice when inside you're jealous of other people approaching girls to have fulfilling and happy relationships. Criticize those who approach women because you know you can't because you are afraid. Deep down you'd love to be able to say even hello to a girl you like but you prefer to trust your limiting beliefs.

    Knowing how to talk to women and loving ourselves inconditionnally to share that doesn't come from staying home and working on your projects. Going to the gym time to time. This is a myth.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2020
  7. Warrior 321

    Warrior 321 Fapstronaut

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    It’s all over folks :(

    Yes I agree I was being a bit clingy and that must’ve played a part and it blew up in my face. Yesterday night she asked me over text how many partners I’ve had and I confessed about being a Virgin. She was taken aback and then this morning I get a text from her saying she doesn’t feel that we are compatible and isn’t ready and wished me luck.

    I finally thought after 26 years of existing this gonna was it but the wait will unfortunately continue. Feelsbadman.jpg
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  8. Unfortunate that you havent build up a longer streak yet. I would say go for it with this girl. For most people on Nofap the end goal is to end up with healthy relationships and sexuality.

    Buy Viagra if you must. I think you can have some if you ask your doc about a prescription depending on country. In my place my doc asked me if I needed some out of the blue. Crazy doc if you ask me but that was easy.

    Sounds like this girl have a high sex drive. Thats a bonus. Maybe she is just after the sex. Be careful so she dont break your heart. Time will show if she wants something serious or if it is just a fling.
     
  9. oh forget about my last post then. At the very least you learned something. I am personally in a similar situation with a girl right now. She is fortunately a little more patient than your girl was. I messed up a lot in the beginning but she still likes me. At least as a friend with some chemistry. Probably not girlfriend material just as I am not boyfriend material (yet). But we flirt and go on dates. Taking it pretty slow but thats ok. We have mutually friend zoned each other but I cant deny that we have some chemistry and that it might evolve. I am not a virgin. Lost my virginity at 24. But I am still way behind my peers in experience. With that said, I turned down sex with a friend just a few weeks ago. I am at a turning point. I got more sex appeal than ever before.

    I have planned several dates in January. I am free to date several girls at once right now since im single. My streak says 2 days. I just fell after a 55 day streak and a 18 day streak. Christmas messed up my good flow.

    Keep reading books, and extend your social circle. Eventually someone quite perfect will show up.
     
  10. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear that man but judging by your first post I think you may have saved yourself from an embarrassing experience, if you've been whacking it to porn with a limp dick for years then I can't imagine this would have turned out well for you. Carry on with nofap, fix your body and then get yourself back out there. At least you can take confidence in the fact that you had a hot girl wanting you, don't let this be a reason to fall back into old ways.
     
  11. Warrior 321

    Warrior 321 Fapstronaut

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    During my last relapse I decided to try some of the Sildenafil before PMO and it worked. I was harder than I've been in a really long time and the erection lasted for a good while. So maybe I could have got away with it if she had come over and I was on the Blue pill?
     

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