She wants to go on a trip with but I'm cautious

Hey guys. Right now I’m at a dilemma and I’m sure I can get at least one answer from you Fapstronauts. Over the last year, I made a friend with someone at work. As of now, I’m 30 and she is almost 10 years older than me. For some strange reason, we just clicked at the beginning of our friendship with her being the extrovert that she is. She’s very enthusiastic, caring, and quite intelligent. It’s not too often that I meet a woman like my coworker.

Lately however, she just quit her job at where we both worked so she’s not getting any income except her husband. Speaking of her spouse, she told me several times how often they argue and how that affects the 3 children that they have. I feel sorry for her in many ways, and I wish I could help her. However, I’ve realized she’s a very strong woman so I have no problem hoping she’ll be fine.

One of the things that keeps her sane and stress free is travelling which she does several times a year. And about a month ago, she encouraged me to go to Vietnam with her. Now for me, I haven’t been to my home country for over a decade and I thought that it would be a great opportunity to spend some with a friend. Another good reason to travel was to visit my aging grandmother one last time.

Furthermore, I’m about to move out and live on my own later this year, and thought that this trip would be a good idea before I go. However, something doesn’t seem quite right. First of all, last year I’ve had a lot of bad luck with potential relationships including a horrible rejection from a long time crush. I don’t want to deal with women in a romantic sense as of now, but rather have fun with female friends.

And obviously this is a good opportunity. But like I said, my friend is married. In fact, I’ve had a similar situation with another older woman many years back. The only difference was that she lied and manipulated me the whole time while using me to cheat on her husband. As for my coworker, I trust her a lot more and the woman that hurt me was in a very bad situation at the time. The only problem right now is: Why haven’t I said yes to the trip? It would be a great chance to start off the New Year with some fun, especially after such a horrible year with so many romantic fails. So why am I cautious for such an opportunity?

 

Thanks man for your support and understanding. What you’re saying has a lot of truth regarding my friend and I. I guess I wasn’t being completely clear, but I want you to know that I see her only as a friend. I’m not physically and emotionally attracted to her in any way. I just want to spend time with a female friend rather than being with someone in a romantic setting. However, travelling with a married woman can be a little risky, and I definitely agree upon that. At this point, her husband is the type of guy who doesn’t really care where she goes, but if it was with another guy, that may be a different story.

In the end, it may be about seeking comfort from her side, and me trying to start fresh for the New Year on mine. That being said, I personally think a trip with a married woman is asking for a lot, but I can still have contact with her in a different way: Maybe lunch or a late night drink. There has to be a middle ground at least.

 

I can see what you're trying to say, and I agree with you. It's funny that you posted this yesterday, but she just recently tagged me on Facebook about a potential trip to somewhere in Asia. At this point, it seems too good to be true, and that's where I have to be careful. Years back when I encountered the older woman I was mentioning about, the same thing happened. At the time, she was having marital issues with her husband, and was even having problems with her own mental state. On the other hand, she was very flirtatious and got my attention quickly; little did I know, she was only using me to get back at her husband. We later became "friends" but that didn't last too long.

And here I am with almost the same scenario. Like @Soccer14 said, I should be flattered that she's asking me to go on the trip, but in the end, I'll do the right thing. She's a great person, and I want to keep her as a friend. But like you said, she's also married and it wouldn't be right for me to do something like that. I think I've had enough experiences where not only have I been hurt myself, but in some cases, I've hurt others because I was naive, selfish, and so on. I've lost so many relationships with good people, and I won't let it happen again. Other than that, I thank you for your advice.