transwoman Fetish : I need help!

I've found that i was only attracted to pre-op transwomen. I was not attracted to men at all. I am straight but the idea of being with an 'exotic' was a turn on. Also, the face had to be unquestionably female. For me it was a kink. A secret desire. I knew i would look on myself with shame and disgust after i did such a thing which made me want to do it more.

 

I no longer entertain the fantasy. That's the best remedy for my affliction. The thoughts of transwoman sex can easily cross my mind however, i am easily able to dismiss these thoughts and focus my attention somewhere else.

I've learned to pray and meditate. This helps me greatly, especially in times of temptation.

I dont expect the thoughts to cease right away, if at all, as this was something that gave me excitement and pleasure. I still get tempted to indulge and if i allow the thoughts to continue in my mind, they will get stronger.

 

Yeah, I was surprised how often this happens through porn. I thought I was rather alone with that issue. I imagined to have sex with black transwomen only. I wanted to receive anal and deepthroat them. But they had to be black, feminine and have a big cock. So, during masturbation, I started to stick fingers and vegetables in my anus. I even tried to meet a black transwoman. As this turned out too hard in my town, I turned towards men, just so I can take it anal and deepthroat it... This is where you get!
Then, just a few months ago, I married. A month before the wedding I have stopped masturbating three months ago and stopped watching porn all together four days ago. I would not say it went away, but the desire is clearly fading and all I am interested in right now is to see my wife back again. I love how she behaves and how she looks, more than ever.
During all this time, I did not consider being gay. Relax, you do not necessarily be gay. Like my colleagues said, give PMO abstinence some time and wait. No man, don't talk to your family until you don't know for sure!