Shit going on...

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Coolbreeze, Apr 19, 2019.

  1. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

    Hello there my friends,

    This is going to be quite a personal story in which I will share information about both myself and my family members. I want to share some views with you about how I feel that genetics influence our way of thinking and behaviour. Have a cup of tea, enjoy the story, and don't forget to leave your thoughts because I value them.

    I am 22 years old and have lived quite an amazing life so far. Traveled the world, enjoying the company of many good looking women that are occasionally friendly, and getting amazing results in the gym. But the last 2 years something in my life changed. My spirit slowly started to fade. I did not want to meet people because I just couldn't get the energy to be social. And all this is on the contrary to who I am deep inside because I have huge social feelings/skills and desire to be with people.

    I want to explain to you the situation of both of my parents to give an overview of whom I was raised by (I still live at my parents house).

    -My dad is an extreme extrovert. Always doing things with people and enjoying it. Quite the serious type although my dad is great at going crazy at parties and being sort of the craziest of all :p
    In addition to that he is always positive and if there is something to complain he does it in a positive way even.

    -My mom is actually the complete opposite. Her confidence is extremely low to a point that I believe she might be cronicallly depressed although she might not see it that way because she is used to living with this feeling. She does not enjoy going to parties and prefers to stay home and watch some TV. Now please understand: I am not writing this to judge my parents but its important to know this to understand the whole story.

    Going back to my own life. I have had 2 really tough years now in which I don't know who I am, what I want; and most importantly, who I want to be. I have had insecurities because of this and the energy I had before is now gone. I have not been out of the house much because im doing like a gap year. I rely mostly on the energy in the house when it comes to my mood because I have had some trouble socializing with friends and all that stuff because I was feeling down without energy and motivation and kind of depressed maybe (i really dont know but its not neccesary to give names to the feelings because they will pass eventually).

    I am having a difficult time. My mom is spreading more negative energy to me by
    1: Not sharing her thoughts with me but rather showing them in non-verbal communication. I have trouble with this because I want people to say what they think and go crazy when people thing something is bad and dont say it.
    2: My mom constantly talks to me about problems and shit that happened in the world and im like what the **** do I actually care. I always try to stay positive and it seems like impossible to get her into the positive flow.
    3: I want to share an example of very extreme difficulty I have with my mom:
    She would be very insecure and negative and after lunch she would say she could eat a bit more and im like: well then please do so I mean you are not at all fat so... And then she would reply negatively like no but I will get fat and blablabla. I try to stay positive but all the time she start again about things like that.

    I have now come to a point where I genuinely believe I am starting to lose my fucks given about all this. I have reached a point where I must push people away sort of by not giving a fuck because otherwise I will be infected with negative energy. I do not have the positive energy inside me to counter this negative energy of others so this is difficult.



    So, the thing I want to know about y'all:
    Is there someone that can relate to this? And what are your thoughts?

    Regardless of your thoughts. I will not give any more fucks because I can't stand it. Just wanna know if other people have the same stuff going on ;P
    220woof671 and Roffelaar like this.
  2. Roffelaar

    Roffelaar Fapstronaut

    Yes brother I relate sooo much to this story.

    I try to keep my story short.

    My parents have always been extremely negative. I noticed this the most when I came back from a year travelling new zealand. My parents hate but also love eachother. They cant stand eachother but still do not want to leave eachother (mainly financial things).

    My dad lived and worked abroad for nearly 8 years and he missed my essential years of becoming a man. I became a little bitch, because I got raised by my mom. I also have two sisters. I had to learn all aspects of becoming a man myself and still learning ofcourse. I am okay with it though and I am NOT trying to blame anyone. I am old enough to realize that it just went this road and that it is my responsibility to do something about it.

    I was so hyped up and full of life in New Zealand. I was going so fucking hard at working out. I also worked there and I was the first person to arrive at work and the final person to leave.

    Now back at my parents for 6 months and I fell back sooo badly. I am still trying my best to workout everyday, but the negative energy my parents and my sister cause in this household just sucks the life out of me.

    This including flatlining right now makes me very easy to trigger at some days and I do get pissed off more easily than before.

    So yes brother, I totally feel you. I am still focussing on my goals and soon I will move out again, going to Australia for work and travels.

    I have told my parents so often how negative it is everyday and how it drags me and my sister down with this constant complaining about EVERYTHING. But the best thing to do is just do your own thing and move out as soon as possible. It is not healthy for anyone and it will not change soon. It will only cause more and more trouble and more fights, but dont forget they are still your parents and raised you with love.

    I sometimes hug my mom or dad and you can see they need it, they have been through hard times aswell.
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2019
    220woof671 likes this.
  3. 220woof671

    220woof671 Fapstronaut

    Sounds like your Mom needs a WOMAN to talk with 4-8 hours per day. All women NEED that.

    * The way I understand it ……… in conversations ……… Women want someone to LISTEN...….. about 90% of the time.
    10% of the time they want advice.

    Advice: if she starts getting negative with you...……. try this:
    a. Leave her with a Positive piece of advice to think about / consider.
    b. Exit stage right...……… leave. Say a prayer for her or send some Positive vibes.
    c. Never ask her, "How's it going" ………… unless you have a spare 30-90 minutes to listen to her endless talking.

    WOMEN were designed to talk for HOURS...…..
    MEN are designed to talk for minutes. (I start looking for a gun -- to shoot myself -- when a woman starts to unload all her sh**.) :)
    Bale likes this.
  4. Bale

    Bale Fapstronaut

    Your twenties should be when you start taking some independence. Families can be full of negative influences and you need to find your own way. At a certain point I would go crazy and get drained of all energy if I stayed at my parents' house for too long. The more time I spend away on my own, the better.
  5. Powerous

    Powerous Fapstronaut

    My parents are similar too, my dad is more of a extrovert and my mother is more of a introvert and I am a bit of both. I enjoy talking to people and joking around etc but I also enjoy time alone meditating reading and that. My mother is a bit negative too, and she mostly stays at home. She doesn't enjoy going out much even tho I try to make her.
    I guess you gotta accept them for who they are, because honestly it is HARD to change yourself let alone change an entire different person. You can only advise them.

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