Should’ve relapsed today

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Iron Will, Sep 8, 2019.

  1. Iron Will

    Iron Will Fapstronaut

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    But I didn’t. I looked at porn and started fapping and the minute I saw how fake it all was I was immediately turned off and closed the tab. All of the grunting *like Godzilla* and moaning *like a tennis player* is so bloody fake. It’s funny how when people are addicted that they don’t even realise they’re acting and somehow the porn tries to convince you that a girl making *trumpet noises* while *singing opera* in a video is somehow valuable and real and your entire life should be devoted to this. Lol okay. And move onto another video then that video doesn’t do it and eventually you’re choking yourself with a *my little pony slushy* and fapping to *teletubbies* porn and then that isn’t enough and you get the point. **censored it to not trigger tender hearted sensitive people
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2019
  2. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    When i relapsed, porn didnt do anything for me, initially. It took a few days. I'm glad you stopped when you did.
     
  3. C12345

    C12345 Fapstronaut

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    Glad you didn't relapse. Just be careful that you don't trigger people, that was descriptive as hell lol
     
  4. AntiRootDrone2230

    AntiRootDrone2230 Fapstronaut

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    You might need to change your paragraph, because it's a trigger for me. But I have somewhat willpower. No hard feelings, I would change it so other people with less willpower don't relapse.
     
  5. Iron Will

    Iron Will Fapstronaut

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  6. SLeepisLost

    SLeepisLost Fapstronaut

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    You did not relapse to O, but you relapsed to porn.
     
  7. Iron Will

    Iron Will Fapstronaut

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    @SLeepisLost Be that as it may I’m meeting my own goals
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2019
  8. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Great post. Loved the my little pony slushee line. Brillant !
     
    Iron Will likes this.
  9. Wuzzaap

    Wuzzaap Fapstronaut

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    Please put trigger warning next time. the way u wrote it made me visualize and I am on the brick of relapsing.
     
  10. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Dude just want to say I’m sensitive to a degree but I don’t know how the hell this could be triggering .... I thought Godzilla grunting was a flawless description. No body will ever get off to a gorilla sex vid. That’s like watching natgeo for the animal sex scenes. Nah.
     
    Iron Will likes this.
  11. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    Hang in there. Dont give in. There will be temptations and you may or may not face them everyday. Always remember there are traps that can vone from out of nowhere. I will remind myself as well.
     
  12. Kai1997

    Kai1997 Fapstronaut

    I think is something you can be proud off. I think its even harder "not to finish" then not to start. I had a moment like this in the past when I thought I don't need that shit anymore. I stopped but some days later I continued like before. So be aware. Good luck for the future
     
    need4realchg and Jerky like this.
  13. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    I can identify. I had gotten to a point where i still had a choice, but i allowed the urges to become overpowering. Edging didn't help. I remember saying:
    "F-it. Ive gone to far and now i HAVE to finish". Complete BS. I still would have lost my recovery but the consequences would've been lesser. Even with that thought, i probably would've relapsed anyway. It's true in so many ways: Best thing is not to start. I wish i hadn't but too late for that now.
     

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