Should I buy a fleshlight?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by cd013, Jan 23, 2021.

  1. Hmm...sounds like you're not really trying to overcome the sexual addiction. You're just putting it on hold for awhile so that you can feel like you deserve it again. That sounds much like the "Santa Semana" (holy week) festival they have in Spain every year: after one week of vegetarian food, no booze or alcohol of any kind, maybe even no women, then they have a riot of a week afterward to celebrate their successful "holy days." They end up more than making up for their brief respite from their indulgences!

    There's no point in doing the right thing some of the time. One needs to do it all of the time. It has been said that character is who we are when we think no one is looking. Keep your guard up! Don't even think about getting that fleshlight.
  2. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

    I can tell you from first hand experience. That this is not a good idea . I ended up having one and I could not stay away from it. It consumed my day , and I would count down the hours I could use it. I got to the point where I was using it 5-7 times a day. And I became ashamed of that.
    My advice is to look into semen retention. And realise that you don't need to masterbate in the first place. I've gone 150 days with zero masterbation. And only one orgasm with a woman. It's truly when people say " if I can do it , anyone can "
    re-Wire, TheForsakeen and cd013 like this.
  3. Had to look it up too :)
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  4. But women are allowed to have sex toys and no one bats any eye lid??! Double standards!
  5. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

    S*x toys are just cheap imitations. I think you know better than anyone how owning a fleshlight can ruin months of time and resilience.
  6. blacklabel92

    blacklabel92 Fapstronaut

    cmon u know bro quit trollin
    TheForsakeen likes this.
  7. You my guy are to extreme. Calm down. This ain't a battle. This is a discussion. I think sex toys in general have a difficult and problematic impact on any gender.
    Nº 9 and Wugazi32 like this.
  8. True, I don't own one anymore anyway (I get the real thing) but was just pointing out.
    The Symbol of Hope likes this.
  9. Nº 9

    Nº 9 Fapstronaut

    LOL! I am serious

    @Wugazi32 there is no double standard.
    Some girls are struggling with MO too, you know. Is like one of them saying "Is ok Kaitlin, you didnt relapse because you used a dildo instead of your finger". If Kaitlin is a PMO addict is the same.

    Plus, you are saying that "society allows" girls to use sex toys without anybody bat an eye lid.... Bro.... Like the same society that allows P0RN? the same society that says P0RN is healthy and is OK? THAT SOCIETY?!?! Really?! Thats your argument?

    You should think before writting.
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  10. Gishki

    Gishki Fapstronaut

    You do realise buying a flashlight is the same thing as maturbating.... you’re just using a toy instead of your hands... of course you shouldn’t if you goal is to stop PMO...
    re-Wire likes this.
  11. Krillin1993

    Krillin1993 Fapstronaut

    At some point I am abit perplexed reading this thread and I am abit shocked. Do you guys really take NoPMO serious enough? Sorry but I don't think so. It is like a bunch of Alcoholics drinking a shot of Vodka once again after a long break just to fullfill something lustful again. But thats only for the moment you feel. Go learn meditation and sleep or do exercises. There are alot of hobbies which are fun. I think you Problem is Loneliness and the sorrow that you never had sex in life otherwise you wouldn't crave for Lust that much. These sexual urges are strong yes but they are coming and going. You always have to fight. When you have a real girlfriend fine go and have sex with her but even then you have to ask yourself: Is it Lust or is it Love? Don't mix those 2 things together just to satisfy your earthly sense ! But if you don't have sex with a gf then whats the point of buying yourself a masturbator? There are other ways how you can deal with loneliness. I can recommand you the book Fidelity written by Thich Nhat Hanh. It is lifechanging. And remember that the sexual energy is the most powerful energy on earth so that means for you to try harder when those urges rising up again. Otherwise you just do a step back. I am pretty sure when you reach 1 year of NoPMO you won't crave for masturbation that much. This journey is a long progress. But alot of people on this Forum still giving them exuses to search for an easier way. Guess what? There is no such an easy-peasy-way. It is hard thats why this is a challenge this is a lifestyle.
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2021
    she-dernatinus, Gishki and re-Wire like this.
  12. TheForsakeen

    TheForsakeen Fapstronaut

    are you anti-sextoys or anti-mastubation? cuz sextoys is just masturbation 2.0, i mean if you are gonna do it might as well do it right.
    Paulie Walnuts and Wugazi32 like this.
  13. cd013

    cd013 Fapstronaut

    No offense but I feel as if your way of thinking is a bit extreme. If someone gets rid of his/her food addiction than it doesn't mean that you're never allowed to enjoy a meal ever again. In the same way, if one gets rid of his problematic sexual behaviour it doesn't mean that you would have to abstain from any form of sexual pleasure permanently. I'm going through a 6 month reboot which is something that most guys would never even think of. This is why I said that I was contemplating of buying one AFTER my reboot. What other practical advice would you give me? Never bust a nut ever again?
    Aléxandros and Wugazi32 like this.
  14. re-Wire

    re-Wire Fapstronaut

    The issue is that most of us here are addicted. If you are able to use a fleshlight moderately, without any porn and without it causing you issues as porn have, then it should be fine- however for most of us, that is but a false relapse induced dream.

    I have never been able to MO moderately and it always leads to porn slowly.
  15. Daggertail19

    Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

    Hey man,

    First off I want to say great job, it seems you have come very far. A lot farther than me, maybe soon I can meet you at 180 days too, baby steps.

    Here is my opinion, and this is just me. I use to buy fleshlights, I've probably bought about 5 throughout this whole process. It feels good at first, but I always ended up throwing it away after 1-3 uses. Sounds like a big money waster, and it is, but let me explain.

    I always tried to rationalize with myself, "If I am not watching porn, and I am doing this in a healthy way, I should get better, right?" In my case, I was wrong. I always ended up back in the habit loop of watching porn, 100% of the time. I cannot expect to fix my mindset and rewire my thinking (which is what a lot of this NoFap is meant for) with some form of artificial stimulation. My goals are to stop objectifying women, achieve my educational goals, develop new hobbies, and find a true love that is not revolved only around sexual encounters. So I realized that buying a fleshlight is exactly that, objectifying women. Quite literally actually.

    That being said, I hope this does not come off as insulting towards your character or lifestyle. In my experience any form of PMO, MO, or whatever, I was always fantasizing and objectifying. I completely understand your mindset, I even bought one of those Fleshlight Launches once for like $300, thankfully I cancelled it before it arrived and got my money back.

    The mind is always searching for an out to an uncomfortable situation, but from my experiences I have learned that pushing through these situations always makes you a better person. Again, this is just my opinion, and I urge you to identify your own personal goals. If you think buying a fleshlight fits with your goals, that is ultimately your choice to make. You might learn a thing or two by doing so.

    Good Luck! Keep Fighting.
    cd013, puius8435 and re-Wire like this.
  16. Gishki

    Gishki Fapstronaut

    Yeah lol i’m not gona bust a nut again unless with a partner. If we are on this forum i think we are all addicted and don’t need any temptation to return us back to porn, so that means no masturbating - not with hands or objects.
    Aléxandros, Daggertail19 and re-Wire like this.
  17. kameelteen

    kameelteen Fapstronaut

    I used a fleshlight to fix my PE, worked like a charm and saved me from some embaressing dates.

    I think what you need to answer is if you are oke with M during your reboot. I am trying a reboot with allowing me to M to no stimulus at all. I figure if M is just boring and there is nothing stimulating to watch it shouldn't hurt my reboot. But i am just testing this out and if it doesn't work i will go hard mode.

    If you are oke with M you are oke with a fleshlight. Just remember that the second you try to find stimulus from another source you are not following your rules and hurting your reboot.
  18. SandsOfTime

    SandsOfTime Fapstronaut

    never ever buy those tools, its desensitize your penis. it's so rough, uncomfortable, if you not wash properly, you get skin disease. i purchased best quality and i felt guilty after masturbation and thrown into dustbin. Lost my money.
  19. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

    How is it possible ?
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  20. Absolutely not. I used to own two of them, it will only worsen your porn addiction

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