Should I consider watching porn and masturbation separately?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by LimitlessPotential, Jul 10, 2017.

  1. LimitlessPotential

    LimitlessPotential Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    Can I just focus on going without watching porn, yet still masturbate because I feel as if I am unable to deal with them both at once and therefore, need to look at these two problems separately. I set a target of three days and even made it all the way to the third day, yet the urge to masturbate was so great, that I ended up watching porn alongside masturbation for 4 times in a row. I realized I was not serious enough about stopping watching porn and that I was solely relying on willpower and motivation, which doesn't last very long.
    p.s.(A side question) Is it good to get an Accountability Partner to help you overcome your problems because I noticed today that since I had access to the password and username of a p-blocker app, I could disable it anytime and whenever I wanted? In order to avoid these situations, I created a new fake Google account and used it to make another account on the p-blocker app, and hoped maybe I would forget the password along with the username. However, the problem with that is then I cannot uninstall the app from my smartphone when I want too, which is good for prevention in watching porn, but bad in the long term as it blocks other Google searches from showing any results. So, by using an accountability partner, I hope to sort of safeguard my password and username so that I can have access to it whenever I need it.

    Any advice on this matter is greatly appreciated and thank-you in advance!
    Sincerely,
    Kai123
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  2. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    It's up to you. A lot of people find success with cutting everything out to "reboot". Personally, I'm separating them right now. Read the articles on the site, read posts, and give it some thought and then take the course that seems right for you right now. Good luck!
     
    LimitlessPotential likes this.
  3. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    I'm not an addict but my partner is. The reason for him stopping PMO was because he could not perform in bed he had delayed ejaculation so we may have a different situation not sure if it applies. But he tried no porn but MO and it did zero for his problems. The reason was because when he moed he replayed images of porn in his head. He had so closely associated the two that he could not MO without replaying porn in his head and then eventually the replaying is not enough and you look at psubs and there you are right back at porn. It's a slippery slope. I used to say if it's a true biological need meaning you need to ejaculate you don't need to use porn to do it. Truth being it was not a physical need he was moing for reasons totally unrelated to sex or desire but rather boredom, being sad or depressed, wanting a dopamine high. I don't think never masturbating again is realistic for everyone but i do think that you need to reboot from it all to fully recover then you can go back to it if you are single and that's your only outlet but maybe cut down on how much you do it and focus on why you are. It's like that concept of mindful eating on a diet. Why am I eating am I hungry or sad? Does my body have a true physical need or is it in my head? I also understand the strong resistance to stopping mo by most men. So if you can only now give up porn but not MO then at least that is some progress but ultimately you likely are going to need to give up both for a set period of time to recover.
     
  4. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    Yes, different people here have different issues they're working on...
     
    LimitlessPotential likes this.
  5. AlexDHRO

    AlexDHRO Fapstronaut

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    I once tried to masturbate without porn and could't get any satisfaction so i had to open up pornhub to finish, which i find very interesting.
     
    kwwassi, Ghost79 and noonoon like this.
  6. You are free to go ahead and tackle this problem anyway you see fit. But before you do, just pause and consider this:

    If you approach these problems one after the other, it will slow down your reboot and could double the time you take. It may take 18 months for porn and the same again for masturbation. Yes, 3 years in total! That is unnecessarily long time.
     
    GG2002 likes this.
  7. RRMADERA

    RRMADERA Fapstronaut

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    Greetings

    Write me to my inbox , i can help you based on my struggle.

    1-849-803-8801
     
    LimitlessPotential likes this.
  8. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    no, you should quit both.
     
  9. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    Other people may disagree, but I think this is an absolute must. If you've got control over your filters/blockers, it just defeats the purpose entirely. A huge part of the reason I haven't seen porn on my phone in weeks is because an accountability partner has my restrictions passcode. I have a couple dozen apps that do 99% of what I need my phone to do, and when I need to update the apps, I just wait until I see my AP and have him disable the restrictions so I can update. Then he locks it down again.

    The important thing is to make your AP 1) someone you trust, 2) someone you see on a semi-regular basis, and 3) someone who won't forget the password they set for you!
     
    LimitlessPotential likes this.
  10. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    Most of us find that P and MO go hand-in-hand...
    The MO triggers the P and the P triggers the MO.
    Give it a go, see what happens.
    99% probability you'll find the same thing. But maybe not.
     
  11. Bob2132

    Bob2132 Fapstronaut

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    If you read the materials on this site you will see the NoFap program is intended to help one quit pornography. Abstaining form masturbation for 90 days is seen as a way to help you reboot so that you lose the desire to use porn. After the 90 days there is no restriction on masturbation, but one is expected to quit porn permenantly. I think a lot of people misunderstand the purpose of this site and think it is about quitting masturbation. That is actually not the case. Abstaining from M is considered a means to help quitting porn and overcoming porn addiction. That being said, I do not personally think it is necessary for all people to abstain from M in order to quit porn. It is really a personal choice based on your own individual situation
     
  12. Jehu2077

    Jehu2077 Fapstronaut

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    If you closely associate masturbation with porn then it's flirting with disaster. I tried this route a year again and it was bad.
    *Trigger warning*
    The exception for me was M while sexting with my wife while i was away from home for work. Still dangerous for some but for me they were two separate activities.
     
  13. aingdk11

    aingdk11 Fapstronaut

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    You must quit it botg and become natural again.im clean pmo and mo for 7month it took a year and many time of relapsing.when u already feel the benefits u might think 10times even to ejaculate.now i can having great sex for 30minute with my girl and i feel like a real man! Goodluck bro
     
    LimitlessPotential likes this.
  14. Bob2132

    Bob2132 Fapstronaut

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    Everyone is different. What works for one may not work for another. The key thing is to quit porn.
     
    LimitlessPotential likes this.
  15. LimitlessPotential

    LimitlessPotential Fapstronaut

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    Thank-you everybody for your replies. I was abstaining from Nofap for about 8-9 days and am happy that I finally made it to 6 days without any sorts PMO. Unfortunately on the 7th day, I relapsed and as a result started over again. Over the past couple of days, our home is in a renovation currently, that keeps me busy throughout the entire day. But even that is about to be finished. A couple of days ago I told my mom about my problem and she said to stop thinking about it. I had to overcome a great deal of stress in order to let my mother know about my activities. I told her because it would keep me in check and accountable. She consistently asks me the reason I watch P videos. But I am so confused... because I personally do not even know when it became an addiction. I started off slowly on youtube, but then it got even more intense and am currently trying to quit it. As I write this reply today, I have already relapsed again in about 2 days. In order to combat my habits, I downloaded the K9 web filter app, and then immediately uninstalled it because for the fear of what my parents would find out; especially my dad since he does not know anything about it as of yet. My mom has told me that she will tell dad about my situation and is going too soon as my dad was out of town for some days. I don't know how to deal with this problem at hand currently... it all feels just weird.

    I feel a scared because I am starting my first year of university this September and I don't want this habit to ruin my university experience. I have started making good progress, but still am unsure about this new journey. I want to be able to control my thoughts at that instantaneous moment when I get sudden urges to do PMO but am unable to. I am starting to become more mindful of my thoughts and actions that lead me to relapse. But, there are many circumstances in my life that always somehow end up putting me alone with nobody to watch over me, like at my house. I try to avoid my triggers as much as possible but always end back up in those trigger situations such as being alone at home, due to me helping out my parents when they go outside, especially with my dad out of town.

    I am going to try both ways that everybody in this thread has recommended; abstaining from P and abstaining from both P and M. I am replying today because I seek advice on how to deal with situations that require me to be alone all the time and how to counter those instantaneous thoughts that arise in my head... I am going to start university this year and am going to live alone for a couple of months, so I don't have an answer. I try to avoid laptop, smartphone and any electronic devices for as long as possible, but can't avoid them forever because I am going into a field where using these devices is essential to getting my degree. I hope everything turns out okay with my parents(am scared about my dad's reaction upon hearing this news).

    I genuinely want to quit PMO for good but am always bound by familial responsibilities that I have which require me to look after our house and store(we own a restaurant), that consistently put me in trigger situations. This reply is already long, but I had to share this with the Nofap community because they could provide me with solutions and answers to my problem. Any advice on these matters is greatly appreciated!

    Thank You in Advance!
    Kai123
     
    aingdk11 likes this.

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