Should I count it as relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by [email protected], Aug 28, 2019.

  1. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,
    I am abstait from por from last 20 days and it is start of 21 st but I visited porn site...... And watches it for 5 min.... Then shut it down.....

    Should I count it as relapsd?
    Or can we adopt some Leaniance?
    I personally do that want to count it as relapse.

    But I want your opinion from. People who have gone through this and have abstained for longer times
     
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  2. If I did that, it would be a reset, for sure.
     
  3. The question is are you better than you were 22 days ago? If the answer is yes, then no, you haven't relapsed. Don't get caught up in technicalities. If you aren't fapping(edited for spelling[thanks autocorrect!])) to porn life you were before you started abstaining, you're doing well.
     
  4. Yes. You viewed the content, I would start from day 0.
     
  5. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Hmm.... Technically you seems to be right... But i would opt for middle path.... I had target of 30 days. Better I would count it as half relapse..... Let's I what ever it may be things are better now that were before. I used to watch daily porn. Now it's 23 rd day with 5 min watching porn...

    I know it's relapse we still I would like to count it as no relapse if and only if I could go on next 30 days without it.... Otherwise if I am not able to resist and fall prey again then I will start counter from zero
     
  6. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Hmmm okey bro, not the kind of answer I was expecting. Hmmm i would count it has relapse but with condition that if I fell again in next 20 days.... Let's see
     
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  7. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Things
    are better than before I was daily porn user min once in day for sure... Now it was 21st day that i did away with it and that to with inner conviction. previously my best streach was 7 days at Mac that to with external control ie not using smartphone using basisc handset and avaoiding internet ( no internet access)
    This time I am staying always inspite of internet use
     
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  8. It's your recovery and only you can manage it. The essential thing for progress is honesty. Addicts are masters of deception, and the very first person we deceive is ourselves. As long as you stay honest with yourself and your APs about how you're doing each day, I think you will continue to make steady progress.
     
  9. It's your recovery and only you can manage it. The essential thing for progress is honesty. Addicts are masters of deception, and the very first person we deceive is ourselves. As long as you stay honest with yourself and your APs about how you're doing each day, I think you will continue to make steady progress.
     
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  10. FeelTheThunder

    FeelTheThunder Fapstronaut

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    No offense to you but that's a pretty fucked up mentality and that way you're never reaching day 90
     
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  11. @quitatporn
    At the 7:50 mark of this video the vlogger answers this question:

     
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  12. FeelTheThunder

    FeelTheThunder Fapstronaut

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    Dude trust me, you learn from this, setting your day counter to 0 does nothing but make you feel like shit seeing your streak. however if you feel like "wow im so cool i watched porn and my streak is intact lemme try again", you'll end up relapsing for real.
    So yes maybe upto 3 chances can be given and in no case should you be viewing the unholy stuff more than 30 secs.
    (its not like you edge for 2 hrs straight and be like: well i still got 2 chances left*
     
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  13. Yes. You already relapsed when you decided to visit porn websites. If you want to recover you can’t visit them ever again.
     
  14. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Yup. Bro
     
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  15. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Things are going on as of now well.
    I am now a days keeping myself busy in family and people so, the natural temptations asre also less.
    I have started the new resolution of not ❌ fapping as well, it's just a third day.

    So long so good.
     
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  16. zakes

    zakes Fapstronaut

    Definitely a relapse from watching porn.. If you masturbated rgardless if you had an orgasm while watching then yes it is a relapse from both.
     
  17. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Nope not fapped while watching.... Left before that
     
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  18. staticboy

    staticboy Fapstronaut

    This is actually an interesting question with details I hadn't considered myself when I started. This is because I can't ever recall ever watching P and then not MO.

    The fundamental purpose of NoFap is to break P addiction, but what sexual activities you allow yourself is entirely up to you. Clearly stopping P is the goal. And the overwhelming consensus is that stopping M (and therefore O) greatly increases your chances of success. But you don't have to stop M, O or partnered sex. For example, my challenge is to quit P by going PM-free for 90 days. I'm married so I'm not going to miss out on O with my wife as I feel it's not part of the problem. In fact, the whole point is that I'm hoping it's going to lead to a better connection with my partner and more deep and meaningful sex. Because I've set my challenge to be PM-free if I M then I've reset. I'm choosing not to M because I think it'll help with stopping P. But I don't disagree with M in itself. I think knowing your own body and learning control are good for your sex life. So after 90 days I may consider going just P-free. I'm hoping that by then I won't be needing to M much, and almost all of the MO will be with my wife!

    After careful consideration I think watching P is a reset. Initially I didn't think it was because the OP didn't MO and just stopped watching after 5 minutes. But as I said above, the primary point of NoFap isn't to stop wanking, it's to stop consuming pornography, regardless of whether you fapped or not.

    Just FYI, here's a snippet from the official Getting Start with NoFap guide, the key point being about what goals you set and the criteria for achieving them:

    Relapse vs. Reset
    There’s a difference between a “reset” and a “relapse.” While these terms are often used interchangeably in the NoFap community, the mental health care community would draw key distinctions between the two terms. “Resetting” means you have failed to reach a goal you have set yourself, and you need to reset your day counter on the NoFap platform back to the first day. “Relapsing” is a more serious issue, involving a return to previous - or even escalated - problematic behaviors and their consequences. So for a porn addict, one occurence of using porn can be considered both a reset and a relapse. But for one occurrence of safe, non-harmful sex without the use of porn in NoFap’s “Hard Mode” rebooting program, mental health care professionals likely wouldn’t dub it a “relapse” since having sex is a healthy human behavior. Partnered sex during a Hard Mode reboot might be considered a “reset” since you didn’t reach the goals that you set for yourself.
     
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  19. zakes

    zakes Fapstronaut

    Depending on your goals it could or could not be.
    If your goals are no PMO then its a porn relapse but not an nasturbation since you did not gap..
    5 min is sufficient time for a Porn relapse.. That means you unfortunate succumbed to porn
     
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  20. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for such genuine feedback.
    I am now reseting my goal again
     
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