Should I delete my account?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Anne-Dauphine, Oct 6, 2014.

  1. Hey guys, for the 328461876541654985 time, I need to take a decision that I can't take alone.

    Pros for quitting forum:
    • I'm no addict anymore and keep trying to get a grip with my previous life which is pointless detrimental and also stupid
    • I need/want to work and I spend 10h a week here - I could run and draw these 10h
    • I need to move and accomplish my dreams, and I KNOW, like for real guys, that I'll never relapse
    • Letting myself unravel in my journal allows me to discover treasures of deep fucking pride I never suspected I had and have the great displeasure to witness
    • This site has became my new Facebook and I hate this
    • I've learned half of the things that are relevant to me now here and now I have to put them in practice

    Cons for quitting forum:
    • I'm going to miss you all like air in my lungs
    • You give amazing advices and I consider you to be part of my internal family
    • I fear that I'll replace this addiction by something worse
    • I will not be here to tell you guys how I've made it to a year

    I can't just go of the forum while keeping my account. I either delete it entirely or keep it and stay.
     
  2. IWantABetterLife22

    IWantABetterLife22 NoFap Moderator

    462
    17
    18
    Well, if you think leaving/deleting your account will make your life more productive (to create art, exercise, etc) then I support that decision. On the other hand, you still give out great advice and seeing someone on here who has made it as far as you have is very inspirational. Maybe wait until you've made it a year, make a 365-days/goodbye post, and then delete your account.
     
  3. Yeah. I think that pain makes me take inconsiderate decisions. I really think it'll help me to delete it, but I'm not ready yet? Honestly again I don't think I give this good advice, half of the time I'm just trying to convince myself, as my journal shows I'm pretty rotten inside. But I have this drive to do it. Heck, it's this way I deleted my porn account, spontaneously... I don't want to delete my account now to create one in three months. Oh the kind of mindstorms I put myself in!
     
  4. joshd

    joshd Fapstronaut

    106
    1
    18
    Anne, you are awesome in achieving what you have! That's inspirational to everyone. Since you have been so strong in beating PMO, I know you could control your forum usage to a reasonable amount, maybe just 1 hour once a week.
    Another thought, I have never been to an Anonymous meeting, but I understand they tell you 'once an addict, always an addict' I don't want to be discouraging to you, but I want to help you in saying it will take vigilance the rest of your life to not fall back into old habits. Unfortunately we all carry our genitals around with us everywhere we go so it is possible to slip anytime. I'm not sure if you are Christian, but the Bible reminds us "let the one who thinks he is standing beware that he does not fall" I have found that to be true in many areas of life. Just my two cents. I'm no expert, but I want what's best for you. I'd hate for you to lose what you have gained. Peace.
     
  5. Thank you for your reply mate, I really appreciate! Hehe, I tried before, and failed monumentally. I have a problem with "restrictions", see. I'm either black or white. I either give my entire life or take it from elsewhere. I can't have limits. That's also part of why I'll never relapse. Either I PMO, either I don't. I quit this addiction in a very strange way and I wouldn't advise it to anyone. I know my genitals will always be there, but I've made a vow. I promised my grandma. My grandma is dead. So I can't break my promise. And there's nothing I desire less than breaking this offering. I do it for myself, but with God's and my grandma's help. I don't advise this to anyone. However you're obviously right. Vigilance is always required. It became my middle name. But when you're faced with the choice to relapse or not. Then it's a choice. And I know I'll always make the right choice. I'll screw up everything but this. I don't even know why I'm saying that, I don't know where it comes from, it's higher than me, it doesn't come from my own mind. I'm a deeply believing Roman Catholic, and I love this quote, thank you so much! I'll use it for everything else but PMO... Because it's my secret. Priorities. When I started, I was believing rock hard that I wouldn't last a month. You can see it on my first journal. So me being here right now is not by chance. It's because relapse will never happen. I want to fuck my husband to make children and because it's the most sacred thing in the universes. I don't want to fuck myself. And I don't want to watch other people fuck.

    So I can't limit... If I try to limit then I'll go back worse than I started. It did the same for my weight and it sucks Canis Majoris sized, believe me. Ya know what they say, fool me once.

    Peace to you too bro, hope you're doing well.

    Oh shit. I think I'm going to delete it. I'm giving myself the night to think about it. If tomorrow my tooth sill hurts, then I'll probably say goodbye and thank you.
     
  6. joshd

    joshd Fapstronaut

    106
    1
    18
    good luck anne! FYI The quote is from 1 Corinthians 10:12
     
  7. contra

    contra Fapstronaut

    14
    1
    3
    If you want to, then yes. But no space should stop you from pursuing anything. If so, then you are placing too much value on one medium and not the one you say you want to focus on.

    But if you think it will help then do it. The choice is yours.
     
  8. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Why do you have to see this in all or nothing terms Anne-Dauphine?
     
  9. Low Light

    Low Light Guest

    Although I started writting this post with full intention of convincing you not to leave , as the thought of you leaving breaks my heart .

    I realize that it's up to you to decide.

    If you see that dwelling in your past is holding you back from moving forward , then by all means , let go ... (Although I would give anything to keep in touch , even if you delete your account).

    I know you , so I know that God is with you , you're in good hands , all you have to do is ask and he will carry you through every hardship or addiction you might face.

    If you want you can leave a goodbye thread , with the story of how you made it through a year.

    Well , that's it .
    I wish you the happiest of lives , Anne-Dauphine
    Good bye.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 6, 2014
  10. Low Light every time I see one of your posts I think "damn this dude's a freaking sweetheart" and this makes no exception. If I do delete my account, which anyway I'll wait until tomorrow and would post a goodbye thread, I'll give you a way to contact me. Never stop being amazing my friend because Lord actually knows you are.



    My problem is being torn up. That's why I try to see things in black and white IGY. Because I'm tired of being constantly torn up being doing good, doing evil, being tempted, overthinking, facing choices. Forcing myself to see it this way helps me a lot. It eases the process. My sister has hardcoooore problems to choose things, and idk, as a reaction I've always been a rhinoceros. I take a deep breath and I do. It's easier than having to balance stuff.

    contra you're definitely right. I'm still working on it tough, but I think that this would be a nice start.

    Thanks for the details joshd!
     
  11. vr002sh

    vr002sh Fapstronaut

    33
    0
    6
    Anne-Dauphine,

    I am pretty new here, like 21 days. But I do see your posts and know that God has you in his hands. Remember Jesus said to the Father, "everyone you gave me, I still have" (my paraphrase), God cannot lose you, otherwise we have to change his name to Butter-Fingers. So I know you are in his hands.

    I for one will miss your posts, you are articulate, intelligent, humorous, and interesting. While my selfish self says, don't go. You need to do what is best for you.

    Prayer and Blessings
    Steve
     
  12. Finalfight123

    Finalfight123 Fapstronaut

    456
    14
    18
    I think its up to you I'm probably gonna go on less once I hit year one. But do you enjoy going on does this make you happy? Or would you rather spend your time doing other things for yourself. Whatever time we spend on here sure we could be spending it elsewhere and maybe we should after all this is a reminder of sorts. But if you plan on leaving do it because you want to not because you feel you have to. Do it because of you, our reasons are just wind your decision matters the most.

    I always like reading your posts they are interesting because its another persons perspective. Good luck to you
     
  13. NotAfraid

    NotAfraid Fapstronaut

    312
    22
    18
    The thought of you leaving pains me, but if you feel like you gotta go, then you gotta go.

    Growth needs pain. When evolving, the negative feelings are present. Stepping out of your comfort-zone feels uncomfortable, but it's necessary for moving forward.

    It's about sacrifice. You go in to the direction you want and need to go, but you also sacrifice things in the opposite direction. If this forum is opposite to your direction, then you need to let go.

    Of course, I don't want you to leave, but who gives a shit about my selfish thoughts. I consider you a hero to this community and a good friend.

    I suggest you go full 365 days and then write a huge goodbye-post with everything you know to help us.

    However, don't let us hold you back from reaching your full potential. Again, the feeling of you leaving pains me, but what pains me even more is the thought of someone special like you wasting their life on internet.

    Good luck with what ever you decide.
     
  14. VanillaMochi

    VanillaMochi Fapstronaut

    1,249
    81
    48
    I know that part of recovering from an addiction is giving back and helping others with the same addiction.

    Maybe you could keep your account and not post or use this forum as a blog/socially but continue to share/give advice to the new members.

    We need all the help we can get.

    - VM
     
  15. contra

    contra Fapstronaut

    14
    1
    3
    True to an extent. It makes it sound like we are all permanently obligated to stay even after we have reached our goal(s) and want to move on. Anne nor anyone else have to stay here. I personally find support in others who are still in the struggle and have made it a few days more than I have than someone who has completely finished.
     
  16. VanillaMochi

    VanillaMochi Fapstronaut

    1,249
    81
    48
    I'm pretty sure that Anne has already gave back to the community more than most people. That part of her recovery is probably complete.

    I never said she was obligated to do anything.

    But if she stuck around to strictly give newbies advice, or sponsor a few people, it would be helpful.

    - VM
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2014
  17. Well thank you for every one who has answered, it means the world to me, and sorry for being such a drama queen. NotAfraid your words really moved me, be blessed my friend. vr002sh too, I don't deserve all of this!! I'll pray for you too brother. Yeah FF123, thanks you helped me understand that I don't want to go actually. I mean, I know I won't hang around for the rest of my life, except if - Lord protects me - x accident happens, but it would be as counter productive as installing a porn blocker for me... It's not the symptoms that have to be treated, it's the infection! I need to balance stuff, not avoid it.

    I decided I would wait until one year. I realized I really don't wan to go. This is my life, godamnit. Really, my journals are me, NoFap is everything I built this last 9 months. It has been the toughest stuff I've been trough, depression is a breeze next to it. I managed to work a lot today so for now I'm keeping it that way. The second NoFap gets its way over my work and/or training, that's it, I quit for a month, Facebook-style. In any way, you'll hear about me on New Year's Eve.

    And I don't want to go with empty hands. If some people here are interested in my approach, I'll leave my story. I want to write a book one day anyway.

    VanillaMochi, thanks for your answer! I definitely agree in spirit, and the proof that it interests me is that I'm considering writing a book / becoming a coach, but right now my priority is my studies because it's only this way that I'll accomplish my dreams, and basically what's not my studies doesn't fit in. I know it sounds hypocritical when you read my journal, but I'm precisely working on it. In anyway, my inbox is always open to anyone. I will never refuse anyone interested in talking to me. I can't and I don't want to.

    I love you guys. Bringing the pussy part in NoFap since January 2014, yo. And yet, in hard mode :eek:
     
  18. fightback

    fightback Banned

    41
    2
    8
    this is a safety net and a place u can express your thoughts freely. no one knows u. I wouldn't just pick up and go...because u will find that that extra time u have will attract attention to other, possibly more dangerous things.
     
  19. VanillaMochi

    VanillaMochi Fapstronaut

    1,249
    81
    48
    You're welcome Anne. :)

    Love your hair!

    - VM
     
  20. Gilbert

    Gilbert Fapstronaut

    450
    129
    43
    Hey there, I've only been on this forum for a couple of days now but I really hope to be in your shoes one day where I've gone nearly a whole year and have contributed so much to the forum and helped so many people!

    I can definitely relate with spending too much time on social media however. If I had any willpower at all I'd probably quit Facebook and get back into reading books and whatnot, and actually spend my time doing productive things, but end of the day it's your choice!

    What I do some days is I'll tell myself that I'm having a "no Facebook day/ no social-media day", so for a whole day I'll just avoid Facebook and do productive things- these usually turn out to be quite effective for me personally. I reckon if I did it more regularly I'd be able to get into a habit of only going on Facebook every other day, then maybe only once every 3 days etc. You could do that with this forum! Just take odd days off, or like you've suggested a whole month off, and see how that works for you.
     

Share This Page