Should I go out with someone I'm not attracted to?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Kai101, Apr 5, 2018.

  1. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys . I desperately need your help. I'm 16 and have never been in a relationship. However, a girl that has had a crush on me for a while has been hitting on me, and wants to go to the movies with me. I MEAN NO OFFENSE WHEN I SAY THIS, but she is very overweight. I know I'm being picky and spoiled, and beggars can't be choosers. But my mom has been overweight/obese her whole life, and she has had a very negative view about herself. This has affected me greatly. I also know first hand all the physical and mental struggles here right people go through daily. Im not saying that this is unique. Everyone has crap in their lives. I don't want to put myself in a relationship like that though. She thinks I'm hot, she is bice, she looked vert nice when she was leaner, and we have some common interests (not a lot, but more than most teenage couples nowadays do, lol), but I just can't look past the fact thay she is overweight. I have never been attracted to it. I can't just make myself attracted to that. To each his own. Also I am not ready for a relationship. One reason is that I am not ready for the responsibility of having a girlfriend, and another is that I want to do my own thing for a little while lo get while I'm still young, lol.

    What do you guys think I should do?
     
  2. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    I’m female and a great deal older (40) but was once your age. No don’t go out with her. Tell her that you are not interested in a nice way then move forward. Don’t try to be friends it will just lead her own. Don’t call yourself a beggar, you are not, don’t feel bad for what you are attracted to but mostly don’t settle. Think about it like this how would you feel if she said the same thing about you or a girl you liked did, it would make you feel bad. So find someone you like and let her do the same. You have a whole life of dating ahead but don’t hurt her.
     
    Gotham Outlaw, Hatfuge and Kai101 like this.
  3. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. I'll try my best
     
  4. Karimtolstoi

    Karimtolstoi Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion, at your age you should stay kind with her. If you don't feel great about going out with her don't do but the point is that you should avoid hurting her. Remember, life is small, maybe in 6 years or so she will become a totally another person, you will find her then more atrractive. Such situations happen a lot.

    So the point is to make a lot of quality friends at your age by sharing good moments. Who knows?! Later, friendship may evolve to a more serious relationship as they would become more interesting people for you in the future.

    By the way, I am 26 and I would have wished to proceed so if I were your age because I used to be very shy and very isolated. Consequently, I have very few friends today and of course my dating life is poor.
     
    Kai101 likes this.
  5. Hatfuge

    Hatfuge Fapstronaut

    I'd tell her that you are not interested in a relationship, do it as nicely you can.

    I don't think remaining in a friendship with her will do any of you any good, Have an abundant mindset there are a lot of girls out there that you'll share attraction with.

    Never sacrifice your own needs and desires to please someone else.
     
    Kai101 likes this.
  6. ewq

    ewq Fapstronaut

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    You are not picky or spoiled. Appearance matters more than we would like to admit, to some extent we are simply Pavlov's dogs. Just don't be disrespectul. Both men and women are a bit superficial when it comes to looks so earlier you accept it the better off you are. Don't be ashamed to say that you prefer fit girls. It is an honest thing to say
     
    Kai101 likes this.
  7. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

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    Dont go out withher. If you're not attracted to someone you shouldnt go out with them. If you don't think you're ready for a relationship you should work on yourself. Don't feel bad about not being attracted to overweight women. We don't control who we feel attracted to.
     
    Kai101 likes this.

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