He's probably thinking about you in the same way. What is your definition of female spirit? Passive? Non assertive? Avoiding conflict? These are all things you are doing by talking about this situation and how you feel about it to random people on an internet forum rather than to the woman involved. Tell her that it bothered you. Tell her that moving forward, if she enjoys having you in her life, that you expect more consideration from her than that. Don't be afraid of coming off as jealous. Because you are jealous. You want her and you don't like that she wants other guys. You're jealous. Be honest about it. She needs to know that. If she can't show you the respect that you're willing to tolerate, then why stay with her? If you're not enough for her and she doesn't value your relationship enough to not go around sabotaging it right in front of you, then why stay? Would you respect yourself if you did something similar to her or to anyone who you respect and value? Don't focus on the other guys. Focus on what you need to do.