Should I sacrifice my girlfriend for my hard mood? Advice needed

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Bin Rakan, Jul 21, 2018.

  1. Bin Rakan

    Bin Rakan Fapstronaut

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    Hello guys now I am around my girlfriend and sometimes I fantasize about her.
    Today I just broke my pm and touch the grenade I promised myself to go hard mode for 1 month but it is very difficult when my girl around me so what should I do? dump my gf? I really need your advice
     
    determined488 likes this.
  2. determined488

    determined488 Fapstronaut

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    Wish I could give you some advice bro, but I've never had a GF before.
     
    Bin Rakan likes this.
  3. Motivation for dummies

    Motivation for dummies Fapstronaut

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    No DONT DO IT.Its ok if you spend time with her it will help your brain create real bonds and even if you have sex with her it will still be naturall and thats never bad.The only problem is the pornography...as long as you dont orgasm and masturbate to porn thats ok.

    Generally people need to understand that the hard mode applies only to pornography not in real life sex.In fact usually after a couple weeks of the hard mode rebooting proccess the brain starts to heal and pushes you naturally to have sex as you start to get attracted by real life women.
     
    SanctionedUser001 likes this.
  4. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    It really depends on why ur doing hardmode. It also sounds like u being together with ur gf does not result in intimate relations. And even when if it does u have the chaser effect on ur back.

    I dont think u should give up ur gf. In my experience nofap benefits can be multiplied by being hopped up by ur gf if u can put that energy elsewhere into life. U go to the gym, u get some work done, u be social. U transmute that energy. And i dont mean that in the woo spiritual way , i mean that in the u actually redirect it and u dont be alone in ur room. You cannot control your thoughts much, u will fantasize even just for a moment but u can control ur actions.
     
  5. Lancelot Striving47

    Lancelot Striving47 Fapstronaut

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    It does depend on your beliefs how I answer, but here are the basics.

    One question, Why did you decide to quit porn and masturbation?"

    One, don't "dump" her because of your problems. You are then not taking responsibility for your actions if you do this. And you are going to make her feel like it was her fault, but its not is it. Be a man!

    Two, She might be able to give you strength to stop using porn and masturbating. If you tell her about your porn problems and that you are serious about getting rid of them she maybe able to help tremendously. And if she doesn't and dumps you than she wasn't the right girl for you to begin with.

    Three, You can win this battle! Nine days almost seems impossible for me at this time, but I will get there. You will be able to do more than 9 days too! You can defeat this monster! Don't give up! Inside you, you are a fighter! So be a Fighter!
     
  6. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    I have very limited experience with relationships, but depending how comfortable you are with her, you should probably talk to her and include her in this journey. She won't be OK with hard mode if you don't explain to her why, as she'll feel you're rejecting her. She might be able help you through a limited period of hard mode (for example, two weeks), followed by just no PM, if she's actually a woman worth keeping. One potential idea is Karezza. If she's not okay with a limited period of hard mode, she's probably not worth keeping.
     
  7. Jose16

    Jose16 Fapstronaut

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    What ever you do....DON'T DO IT... You will regret it specially if both of you are still in love each other.
    That's my next question, are both of you still in love with each other?

    Look at the bright side, at least you have someone beside you that's willing to help you with your situation, me on the other hand I need to go through this all on my own without anyone helping me.
    What ever you do stay away from porn and masturbation. When you are with her always kiss her, touch her face, grab her hands and always make her feel special for she can feel that you are still in love with her and at the same time your body would start getting use to touching a real woman and you when you at least expected you will be back to normal.... BUT STAY AWAY FROM PORN.. and when you start getting an erection let her touch you and if she's not around take a walk, don't stay by yourself.
     
    Jason_Tesla_19 likes this.
  8. Tokenator27

    Tokenator27 Fapstronaut

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    Include her in your life, that means the bad as well as the good. Most basic advice I can give. It worked for me. Honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness.
     
  9. mamusa123

    mamusa123 Fapstronaut

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    You don’t want to break up with her and then say 1-2 months down the line be lonely without a significant other and perhaps a string of rejections which will make you fall back into the cycle of pmo.

    And if your anything like me I’m doing this for my gf so we can be more intimate and have better sex lives.

    The main objectives is to remove the associations you have with porn and other sexual urges. Removing all triggers like your girlfriend may seem like the way to go, however that doesn’t mean that other triggers will disappear. I think NoFap is more about creating resistance by conscious decisions to oppose urges in the face of triggers.

    Tl;dr DO NOT BREAK UP WITH YOUR GF
     
    Jason_Tesla_19 likes this.
  10. Judging from his journal he already has.
     

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