Proveyourlove07
Fapstronaut
so I’m 23 and my boyfriend is almost 24. We’ve been together for almost a year and I initially thought he was amazing but he started criticizing my appearance even though I’m fairly attractive, comparing my body to other women he’s slept with/ seen even though he knows I have an eating disorder. And I found out 2 days ago that he has an EXTREME porn addiction, and because of it, he has actually cheated on me, and raped me. He has a tinder, gets nudes etc from Snapchat, I looked at his Instagram likes and it’s just porn and girls from tinder and has been unfaithful in general. I’m hurt about this since I just moved in with him 2 weeks ago. I suspected he had a porn addiction because he’s so young but experiencing what I think is erectile dysfunction, he’s even tried to initiate sex and could finish so he snuck away to watch porn. He’s even initiated sex and not looked at me once and focused on the tv. I feel sad that he’d rather look at porn than be intimate and when he does it’s only him focusing on his own pleasure, and he refuses to even hug or kiss me afterwards. I felt humiliated and unwanted. He’s also been verbally and emotionally abusive and controlling because he knows that other people find me attractive so he makes hurtful comments to lower my self esteem. Recently I tried to ask for permission to apply for jobs on his laptop and he lashed out on me so I thought that was suspicious and a girl he talked to on tinder reached out to me and sent my screenshots of him positioning her for sex etc, receiving nudes, talking poorly about me, and multiple coworkers and other girls reached out. I also have screenshots of the porn on his phone he’s also saved all of my nudes without my permission. he finally admitted he has a porn addiction, we went through his computer and some of the stuff there is so horrible I can’t even mention it, and he told me the reason for this is that he was molested. He recently signed up for therapy and deleted social media and gave me permission to look at the browser history, is there hope or should I run? I love him to death but now my own mental health is suffering because of the infidelity, compulsive lying, and porn addiction. I don’t even know how to support him, he genuinely says he wants to change but I’m scared that he’ll just fall back off the wagon———————————————————————update June 26 2019. So I foolishly decided to stay; because he asked for 1 month to show me some significant change. And because he manipulated me into losing my apartment and being disowned because he disrespected my family, so if I would’ve left him I would have been homeless. He’s been going to therapy consistently but for the month the lies continued and he got put on a new medicine and started becoming physically abusive also. Things escalated to the point that he strangled me, and his therapist says we have codependency issues. (Because I stayed). For the last 2 weeks the lying has stopped, and the physical and verbal abuse, After that for the most part things have been improving, and he hasn’t watched porn in 20 days, but the controlling behavior is still somewhat there. I still worry though. After I found out he was a porn addict I also found out he has a racial fetish for Asian women specifically which not only is wrong but is also alarming to me considering I’m African American and he is Latino. After I discovered that he also said that porn changed what he was attracted to and insinuated I was ugly which was shocking since I’ve never been called ugly by anyone else in my life. In fact anytime we leave the house together people compliment me. Now I feel as though I’ll never compare to his “Asian dreamgirl” , I feel as though if he had the opportunity to, he’d cheat again. Since apparently he not only finds me unattractive in real life but there’s no place for women that look like me in his fantasy either. But I’m trying to work on trusting him more.
Last edited:
