Should I Tell my family about my PMO addiction

theMorningSword said:
You’re welcome brother, you have to stay vigilant and strong. Willpower is finite so it can fail you, so avoid places that will allow you to relapse like your computer or phone but if you have to use it don’t go to certain websites, especially when you’re tired and stressed. Never give an inch brother, take it very seriously.

Peace love and positivity to you brother
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Just one thing tough i have a test coming up i am not sure if i should give it this year or probably try next year(which would mean wasting an academic year.i am already 23.) i don't feel confident about it right now.i think i need some time to sought out my problms first.Is it okay?
 
Arpit Agrawal said:
Just one thing tough i have a test coming up i am not sure if i should give it this year or probably try next year(which would mean wasting an academic year.i am already 23.) i don't feel confident about it right now.i think i need some time to sought out my problms first.Is it okay?
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What test is this exactly? Can you take it this year and try again next year? For me, personally, I’d try my very best this year and see what happens then if I have to then I’ll have no choice but to do it again next year. But if you only got one chance and you really feel you aren’t up to it then wait till next year but I don’t see why you can’t really buckle down and study your ass off.

Also, are we talking semester wasted or an actual entire year wasted
 
theMorningSword said:
Hey, can therapy help you overcome your addiction? What does therapy do
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I have been in SLAA 10 years but never really got to the cause of my behaviour. I am finding therapy is helping me to understand what processes happened as a child which then impact me later in life. I am therefore finding it very useful.
 
theMorningSword said:
What test is this exactly? Can you take it this year and try again next year? For me, personally, I’d try my very best this year and see what happens then if I have to then I’ll have no choice but to do it again next year. But if you only got one chance and you really feel you aren’t up to it then wait till next year but I don’t see why you can’t really buckle down and study your ass off.

Also, are we talking semester wasted or an actual entire year wasted
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An actual year wasted.
I am thinking about it for the next year bcoz i am not able to control nightfall which causes serious lack of concentration.i have studied for the test for almost a year now but i have given some test similar to this test but i have not scored well.i don't want to be depressed anymore.
 
theMorningSword said:
What test is this exactly? Can you take it this year and try again next year? For me, personally, I’d try my very best this year and see what happens then if I have to then I’ll have no choice but to do it again next year. But if you only got one chance and you really feel you aren’t up to it then wait till next year but I don’t see why you can’t really buckle down and study your ass off.

Also, are we talking semester wasted or an actual entire year wasted
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it is an mba entrance exam like GMAT .it is very difficult to crack.I can take it once in a year only.Also the fees for the test is very high.
 
Dr_prof said:
I have been in SLAA 10 years but never really got to the cause of my behaviour. I am finding therapy is helping me to understand what processes happened as a child which then impact me later in life. I am therefore finding it very useful.
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Hey brother, thanks for sharing. I hope you are doing okay and staying strong for what ever happened when you were a child.

I hope you know you are loved and if you don’t know anyone personally in your life that loves you, I love you. Don’t let the past hold you down, it’s the past and the past doesn’t define who you are now, you are a new person every passing moment, every thought, across the infinite plains crossing all existence to this expression told, you are your soul, a dancing paradox that has infinite potential, that doesn’t need confirmation because you consciously aware is creation in of itself. You’re beautiful man!!!

Peace love and positivity to you!!
 
Arpit Agrawal said:
i cannot about sex with my parents but i think they need to know about my problems.Before seeing a therapist or telling my parents i am thinking about talking to my friend first.i think my friend can help me and tell me what to do
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yeah good call, I grew up with a Sri Lankan-Tamil mom and I couldn't talk to her about a lot of shit especially sex. Our cultures are similar that's why I figured you might be in the same situation.
 
Arpit Agrawal said:
An actual year wasted.
I am thinking about it for the next year bcoz i am not able to control nightfall which causes serious lack of concentration.i have studied for the test for almost a year now but i have given some test similar to this test but i have not scored well.i don't want to be depressed anymore.
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This is just my opinion, but it sounds like you’re not ready, so take it next year. From now until then, stop pmo completely, study your ass off and find ways to deal with your night fall. Are you fantasizing during the day or what’s triggering you?

Nightfall, I’m thinking we are talking about wet dreams when we say nightfall, but they happen because your brain or mind is so wrapped up in sexual thoughts it’s like masturbating itself when you sleep and it releases. Unless you got wet dream problems, but your hormones should be balancing by now, unless your libido is really really high?? Have you see a doctor for this?
 
theMorningSword said:
This is just my opinion, but it sounds like you’re not ready, so take it next year. From now until then, stop pmo completely, study your ass off and find ways to deal with your night fall. Are you fantasizing during the day or what’s triggering you?

Nightfall, I’m thinking we are talking about wet dreams when we say nightfall, but they happen because your brain or mind is so wrapped up in sexual thoughts it’s like masturbating itself when you sleep and it releases. Unless you got wet dream problems, but your hormones should be balancing by now, unless your libido is really really high?? Have you see a doctor for this?
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i fantasize all the time that is why i want to seek a therapist.yes nightfall mean wet dreams.i cannot stop thinking about sexual thoughts.they are always presnt in my head
 
Arpit Agrawal said:
i fantasize all the time that is why i want to seek a therapist.yes nightfall mean wet dreams.i cannot stop thinking about sexual thoughts.they are always presnt in my head
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I’m not a professional but I’ll see if this exercise maybe can help you a little? Try it

Okay try stopping fantasizing for sure. What I do is, I become aware of how I feel and what I am thinking.

For example, if I see a very hot girl, I can either go ape shit and get that adrenaline feeling like when you watch P or overly fantasize or I can be very calm, compliment her beauty in my head and move on. I’d say the trick is to not let your body get out of control and to be aware of where your thoughts are headed and what it is saying. Is it saying wow look at this and that of her body? Is it saying sexual stuff? Where is this all leading to? No where good, so stop it, don’t lust and become an animal, compose yourself and be in control. Redirect your focus and attention to other things and stop objectifying females.

If you’re just fantasizing without seeing anyone, as in you’re just daydreaming, stop fantasizing by stopping the source and redirect your attention to something else, maybe go outside and go for a walk, get some air.

The thing is, if you can learn to master your thoughts you can basically do it all. Which meditation helps you do which you say you already do. So try practicing being aware of your thoughts and where it leads, then calmly redirect your train of thought onto another subject.

I really hope this was helpful!! Good luck brother!! You got this, you control your mind thus you control your thoughts. If you are stuck fantasizing it is you who is holding on
 
theMorningSword said:
Hmmm if you want to control your sexual thoughts, maybe try not fighting it. If it comes, let it come then calmly change your mind or your focus onto something else like why you like this music or why it makes you feel this way, what do you need to do etc basically anything other than thinking of your sexual thoughts. Also, don’t entertain those thoughts, doing so will only make it harder to let go
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GREAT. It’s exactly my strategy. Replace the urges by something more attractive. More attractive? Exactly. There is an ocean of love and joy deep inside of you.

theMorningSword said:
I hope you know you are loved and if you don’t know anyone personally in your life that loves you, I love you.
Click to expand...

We all have no idea how much we are blessed and loved.
Dear Arpit, I am much older than you and I live in a different culture. I visited India three times and I have some idea in which situation you are. At the same time we have so much in common. We have hopes, we have fears, we have doubts. Your test stress is immense and long time I also had it, doubted I would pass the exam. But I did pass and everything was fine.

There is something much more important than your test. It’s YOU.
YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON, YOU ARE UNIQUE AND YOU ARE MOST LOVABLE.
Accept yourself (with all your fears, doubts and addictions). There is a divine spark inside of you which makes you most lovable. Like yourself, love yourself.
I see your serious efforts and it really touches me to see you struggling. In this moment I would like to hug you to let you feel you are not alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Talk about your addiction with those persons you feel they might understand you. And do it in a moment which feels good to you.
Try to relax. All is well. If you go to the test or not is secondary.
And if you pass it or not is secondary. Realize that you are a wonderful person and all will be fine.
 
Yanis said:
GREAT. It’s exactly my strategy. Replace the urges by something more attractive. More attractive? Exactly. There is an ocean of love and joy deep inside of you.



We all have no idea how much we are blessed and loved.
Dear Arpit, I am much older than you and I live in a different culture. I visited India three times and I have some idea in which situation you are. At the same time we have so much in common. We have hopes, we have fears, we have doubts. Your test stress is immense and long time I also had it, doubted I would pass the exam. But I did pass and everything was fine.

There is something much more important than your test. It’s YOU.
YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON, YOU ARE UNIQUE AND YOU ARE MOST LOVABLE.
Accept yourself (with all your fears, doubts and addictions). There is a divine spark inside of you which makes you most lovable. Like yourself, love yourself.
I see your serious efforts and it really touches me to see you struggling. In this moment I would like to hug you to let you feel you are not alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Talk about your addiction with those persons you feel they might understand you. And do it in a moment which feels good to you.
Try to relax. All is well. If you go to the test or not is secondary.
And if you pass it or not is secondary. Realize that you are a wonderful person and all will be fine.
Click to expand...
Thank you brother
 
theMorningSword said:
I’m not a professional but I’ll see if this exercise maybe can help you a little? Try it

Okay try stopping fantasizing for sure. What I do is, I become aware of how I feel and what I am thinking.

For example, if I see a very hot girl, I can either go ape shit and get that adrenaline feeling like when you watch P or overly fantasize or I can be very calm, compliment her beauty in my head and move on. I’d say the trick is to not let your body get out of control and to be aware of where your thoughts are headed and what it is saying. Is it saying wow look at this and that of her body? Is it saying sexual stuff? Where is this all leading to? No where good, so stop it, don’t lust and become an animal, compose yourself and be in control. Redirect your focus and attention to other things and stop objectifying females.

If you’re just fantasizing without seeing anyone, as in you’re just daydreaming, stop fantasizing by stopping the source and redirect your attention to something else, maybe go outside and go for a walk, get some air.

The thing is, if you can learn to master your thoughts you can basically do it all. Which meditation helps you do which you say you already do. So try practicing being aware of your thoughts and where it leads, then calmly redirect your train of thought onto another subject.

I really hope this was helpful!! Good luck brother!! You got this, you control your mind thus you control your thoughts. If you are stuck fantasizing it is you who is holding on
Click to expand...
ok Bro thnkx a lot
 
@Yanis i like that replacing urges with something more attractive, that’s a good addition to my original suggestion, or rather an upgrade to the entire whole!

@Arpit Agrawal good luck brother, if I can help anymore let me know
 
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