Should I tell my family?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by KingRecover17, Jan 20, 2015.

  1. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    I told my mom recently it really go well, but I had to tell her now, but the problem now is that I'm struggling more than ever. I'm trying to get back on a streak again, but I haven't been able to because my mind has been stuck on porn. But mind you I had two long streaks this year 28 days and 30 days, I want to get to back to knocking out 30 days and I know it isn't as hard as it seems, I just need to man up...
     
  2. Jerry the Fapstronaut

    Jerry the Fapstronaut Fapstronaut

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    Love this! That's exactly how it is.
    That's right. I'd also throw in there, that you shouldn't care about what other people think of you, if you care about what you think about yourself. I've always tried to be the person other people wanted me to be, until I couldn't take it anymore. Ever since then I said to myself: "I'm not gonna care what they think about me anymore. I'm gonna look in the mirror, think about my actions and see if I am the person I want to be." Now I only care about what I think about myself. That improved my confidence quite a lot.
     
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  3. Reuby

    Reuby Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Do it man.
    I told my parents a few days into my journey and honestly it was not a very enjoyable conversation.
    But it feels like fifteen tons of poo has just been lifted from your shoulders :p
     
  4. Reuby

    Reuby Distinguished Fapstronaut

    WOW I GIVE THIS QUOTE 1000/1000
     
  5. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Haha, very true! :rolleyes:
     
  6. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Yes, I recall your month-long streaks @KingRecover16. So, man-up dude. Make some tough choices and stop this shit! :oops:
     
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  7. traveller22

    traveller22 Fapstronaut

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    My advice would be to only tell them now if you really feel you need to. Telling those that are very close to you is good in the long run, but could prove to be destructive if you haven't travelled a significant way along your recovery path.

    It's far better telling someone, "I had a problem with X', than "I have a real problem with X." In the latter case, all we are doing is dumping a problem in their lap.

    Honesty is honourable, but timing is pivotal.

    Power to you!

    T22.
     
  8. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    I already told my family about my addiction and I don't have any regrets or shame about telling because I know in my heart that I will beat this addiction its just a matter of time, that's why I'm glad I'm young because I had time to get rid of it, but I rather get rid of it asap, I don't want to procrastinate!
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2016
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  9. IGY

    IGY Guest

    HA HA HA! :D
     
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  10. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    I meant to say I don't want to procrastinate lol
     
  11. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Aww, it is a shame you edited it because that was a classic! :D I am sure everyone knew the word you were intending - it was just one of those beautiful moments, an exquisite mistake we all do from time to time! Glad you could see the humour.

    Anyway, dude, I see you are about to complete an entire week. Three more of those and you will be challenging your PB!
     
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  12. TheIdealMan

    TheIdealMan Fapstronaut

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    I'm wondering the same thing. I think I might tell a friend or two, but not not my family. Hopefully my friend and I can AP—I think he might also have an addiction. I might even tell my dad. I have a feeling he has experience with porn.

    Should I???
     
  13. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    7 days isn't my personal best lol, but it is what I'm aiming for right now, but 54 days is my personal best, that's what I'm really aiming for.
     
  14. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    Yes tell someone, don't get through this alone. But make sure you tell someone that you trust. If you feel like your dad has gone through the similar experience, then I would tell him. Also don't feel ashamed because your telling someone about your porn addiction, aleast your admitting that you have a problem and that your trying to overcome it.
     
  15. noviceambition

    noviceambition Fapstronaut

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    Try to set a smaller counter on top of your current counter (70 days). If you haven't reached 7 days then I suggest setting the new counter to that value because setting the bar too high can easily discourage you to take up the challenge. You can then think of your 70 day goal to be long term. It's a lot easier to divide your long term goal into smaller goals to not overwhelm yourself. It's not completely linear either because there are different stages of quitting pmo that may affect you along the way like going from the testosterone boost on Day 7 to the popular flat line by Day 14. Plus, you can't hope to achieve anything (short or long goals) if you don't understand what continues to make you relapse. I also found that you will only achieve no pmo unless you give it up for good (or until you fully recover from the addiction), it may even help to say you'll give it up forever, otherwise quitting pmo will just be an experience and not a lifestyle change.

    To be honest, I miss the novelty of P, but I understand how destructive it will be if I look at it. But, it's a sacrifice that I am willing to take. I really want to say "at least until I repair myself and read it (H manga) for the story", but that's probably the result of my addiction, so until I am fully recovered (or reached 1 year no pmo), then I will reconsider if I still want to. It satisfies me because I'm giving myself a chance to see if it is my addiction speaking or myself. I will educate myself more on the science behind P to support my decision as well. But, I know that as long as I don't activate a trigger and MO, then reading P should be safe. It's a dangerous call to even consider doing such a thing, but I have a feeling that after one year of living no PMO the benefits will be too profound to return to it. I honestly don't know (but after writing this I have a feeling that it really is addiction driven, but it's almost like making a bet with myself). Otherwise, it proves an interesting or very stupid idea to explore (probably the latter). This addiction may be a more formidable opponent than I thought...
     
  16. I got the same problem. Just try to stop at your hardest. Think how happy you will be. When you're succesful you can tell your family.
     
  17. Mustnotfapinberlin

    Mustnotfapinberlin Fapstronaut

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    I told my sisters, both in the mental health field, but was met with shame. There's a lot of sexual messed-up-ness in my family, so they can't handle anything sexual at all. Sexual subjects have always been a vast taboo in the family.

    I myself carry around boatloads of shame: addiction shame, body shame, mental health shame, failure shame, abuse-shame. I understand that living in shame is not helping in any way, and the shame has disconnected me from others, but I wouldn't know how to go about disclosing it.
     
  18. TheIdealMan

    TheIdealMan Fapstronaut

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    I still don't know... My friend will probably be easy to talk to, but he might think of AP as a little weird. I'll take it slow. My Dad, however, I am afraid he will be disappointed. I know he understands PMO but he doesn't understand what it is like for me at my age... At least, he hasn't shown signs of understanding.
     
  19. traveller22

    traveller22 Fapstronaut

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    Sex Addicts Anonymous suggests people in recovery wait until they have made some good progress in their recovery & completed a number of steps, before telling significant others.

    I think there is great wisdom in this. Rather find an AP & share your struggles with them. Honesty with those nearest to us is important, but timing is key.

    Keep moving forward.

    T22.
     
  20. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    I already told my family and I made this thread last year, so I have made a lot progress since then. I'm kinda surprised that everybody just started responding to it, after a year lol because at the time I didn't get awhole of replies until now, but nonetheless I'm glad people bought this thread back to life because this is a really important topic.
     

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