Should i tell my future wife?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by fools’end, Aug 12, 2019.

  1. fools’end

    fools’end Fapstronaut

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    Quick question, do you guys think that if my future wife asks if i have ever paid for sex that i can keep that to myself or is that wrong?

    would appreciate some input.
     
  2. Qoti

    Qoti New Fapstronaut

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    Bad idea, honesty is the basis of a relationship. Better to be honest. And give her the choice, and that she chooses you, than to lie and at somepoint slip, and she discovers you are a liar and suddenly the entire relationship could be doubted. If you arent honest with people to give them the fteedom to choose, you are manipulating them.
     
  3. CJ_UNDERDAWG23

    CJ_UNDERDAWG23 New Fapstronaut

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    I do not agree. Is she gonna tell you how many men she honestly smashed in college? etc
    Everyone has baggage coming into relationship now a days. It not like the old days were two virgins get married young and stay marry for years. Its your business, and it should stay your business.
    However, if your future wife is some amazing therapist with the ability to understand that life is not black and white. Than maybe it might be okay to say something, but in my experience with women she might use your past against you later down the line.
     
  4. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

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    There is actually a third option: you can tell her, that right now at the moment these are not issues you want to share. Some other time. "Say the truth or at least, don't lie"
     
  5. Randy

    Randy Fapstronaut

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    That sounds to me like the worst of both worlds. She would know that.he had been to prostitutes. She would lose her trust because he isn't willing to tell and she would be left imagining scenarios that could be worse than what really happened.
     
    IbrahimViking likes this.
  6. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

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    I get your point, but it is what I would do I think. However the question itself is not a very good one. Because asking it suggests that something in his history or behaviour makes her think that he is on hookers.
     
    Randy likes this.
  7. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

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    I think you worry about something that isn't likely to happen. Why would she ask you that?
     
    recon117 likes this.
  8. userSCP

    userSCP Fapstronaut

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    This is the only advice that matters here. lock the thread, lol
     
    psychedelicjelly and hardowner like this.
  9. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

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    If I were you, I would reply "yes" if she asked me, but wouldn't give more details.
     
  10. userSCP

    userSCP Fapstronaut

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    [​IMG]

    You're opening pandoras box man
     
    hardowner likes this.
  11. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

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    Hahahahaha!!! :D That was a good one... You're right. Maybe she would ask all the escorts in the vicinity for details and they would ask money and give her fake info...
     
  12. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    yes tell her, it matters, that's why you asked the question, if it did not matter you would not even think about it, but your gut tells you so.
     
    IbrahimViking likes this.
  13. Breadman

    Breadman Fapstronaut

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    I thought I kept my secret ( i was bisexuality attracted) for years. When I told her she said she knew 30 years ago. What was important was did I love her, was I faithful and did I want to stay married. That was the last time it came up and I felt a load off my conscience.
     
  14. DarkShanks

    DarkShanks Fapstronaut

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    OP, Why do you want to give her AMMOs to destroy you in the future?! What is this self-destructing behavior you all men have?

    The only obligation you have is to tell her if you have any STDs, but if you paid or not a girl to have sex with?! That's no one's business.
     
  15. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

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    Guys, I think that some women don't want to date or marry a man that has slept with escorts.
     
  16. Breadman

    Breadman Fapstronaut

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    When you love someone there is no desire to “destroy” the other.
     
  17. DarkShanks

    DarkShanks Fapstronaut

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    Oh please, life is not a Disney movie. Love comes and goes. And when she'll eventually fall out of love she'll remember all the exploitable things OP has revealed naively to her.
     
    hardowner likes this.
  18. Breadman

    Breadman Fapstronaut

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    You’re picking the wrong kind of women. I’ve been married 46 years. We never use each other’s past to hurt one another. And you make life what it is.
     
  19. DarkShanks

    DarkShanks Fapstronaut

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    Ok, I don't know you or your spouse, but you'd be surprised how many men I knew and heard and read about it that were ready to swear for their spouses. And if you knew some of these women, you would have never believed them to being cheating liars.

    I admit my trust has been destroyed, but it's better like that because my expectations can never be destroyed again.
     

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