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Should I tell my partner?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 7, 2017.

  1. Jun 7, 2017 #1
    jasonbrodieeeeee

    jasonbrodieeeeee Fapstronaut

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    Hello all. I will make it short. So I have a partner and we're in the stage of our relationship where we can say that we actually truly Love each other. But we haven't entered a relationship yet because we're still studying college and we feel it isn't time yet. But we stay true and loyal to each other.

    Porn and masturbation has always been a big struggle of mine since my high school days. For the past months, it has just gotten worse, I do it everyday.

    I just started abstaining and I was wondering if I should tell my partner about this?

    We already know each other for a year now, and I feel like I am lying to her, or I am not trusting her because I haven't shared to her this side of me. On the other hand, I'm scared that it will make her uncomfortable. She is a conservative lady and I'm not sure how she will react. Should I tell her?

    Thank you for your time.
     
    jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 7, 2017
    jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 7, 2017
    #1
  2. Jun 7, 2017 #2
    Th3Fl@5h!

    Th3Fl@5h! Fapstronaut

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    Yes, you should be honest. Trust in very important in a relationship and love requires vulnerability. Meaning, you have to admit your short comings and have faith that she will be understanding. If you both truly love each other, she will appreciate your honesty and efforts to make a change without her input; and also may be your support if she also desires you to change. You also will get a sense of relief by opening up because you won't have to worry about it being in the closet anymore. This addiction, when it's exposed rather than hidden, looses it's power and grip over the addicts life. So tell her, and others in your circle and don't fail to mention that you are trying and fighting to change. I have a girlfriend who I plan to propose to soon, God willing, and when we talked about this a few months ago I felt all the fears and shame went away. Before telling someone you will find every excuse to not say anything because of fear; it feels like the moment you are about to jump off an airplane to sky dive. Pretty frighting, but once you do it - there it is, the adrenaline rush and the "why was I so scared to begin with?" question. You come back to earth feeling like superman because you actually flew once in your life. It's a really big accomplishment just being open with your loved ones about this. It's an air freshener which gives you a new scent that will allow you to smell the crap that you used to love and begin to hate it. Be encouraged to do it. Give us updates on how it goes. God bless you. :)
     
    Th3Fl@5h!, Jun 7, 2017
    Th3Fl@5h!, Jun 7, 2017
    #2
    jasonbrodieeeeee likes this.
  3. Jun 7, 2017 #3
    FriendlyGuitarist

    FriendlyGuitarist Fapstronaut

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    Honesty is very important in any relationship/friendship. Sure it might hurt at first but if they are true friends/girlfriend/wife/family they will stick by you and support you that you want to get help. Plus it's better to be honest than for them to find out other ways and that would make things worse.
     
    FriendlyGuitarist, Jun 7, 2017
    FriendlyGuitarist, Jun 7, 2017
    #3
    jasonbrodieeeeee likes this.
  4. Jun 7, 2017 #4
    jasonbrodieeeeee

    jasonbrodieeeeee Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, Miguel. Wow. I just made my account when I made this thread and I'm really happy I signed up here. You guys seem so supportive to the others in the community. Good luck to you and your girlfriend on your proposal, and beyond that. Now I just have to find the right moment to tell her. Will give you an update. :D
     
    jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 7, 2017
    jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 7, 2017
    #4
  5. Jun 7, 2017 #5
    jasonbrodieeeeee

    jasonbrodieeeeee Fapstronaut

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    What you said, made me think. You might be right. I know she is true to me. I will tell her. Thank you :D

    On a side note, I also play guitars. Lol
     
    jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 7, 2017
    jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 7, 2017
    #5
    FriendlyGuitarist likes this.
  6. Jun 7, 2017 #6
    Th3Fl@5h!

    Th3Fl@5h! Fapstronaut

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    Awesome. You'll be fine man. Thank you for your kind wishes. I just made my account yesterday and realized fairly quickly that there is a lot of support on here. It feels good to support others too so I'm excited to see your progress. Feel free to message me anytime man!
     
    Th3Fl@5h!, Jun 7, 2017
    Th3Fl@5h!, Jun 7, 2017
    #6
  7. Jun 7, 2017 #7
    FriendlyGuitarist

    FriendlyGuitarist Fapstronaut

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    Your welcome bud. Nice, what kind of guitar do you play?
     
    FriendlyGuitarist, Jun 7, 2017
    FriendlyGuitarist, Jun 7, 2017
    #7
  8. Jun 8, 2017 #8
    jasonbrodieeeeee

    jasonbrodieeeeee Fapstronaut

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    I play electric guitars, and acoustic too. Mostly for a catholic community that I'm a part of. Playing praise and worship songs you know. Haven't had much time to play guitars for leisure because of college. -_-

    and you?
     
    jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 8, 2017
    jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 8, 2017
    #8
  9. Jun 8, 2017 #9
    jasonbrodieeeeee

    jasonbrodieeeeee Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, I just told her everything and it went great :D it was exactly as you said. She was a little disappointed at first and asked questions but then she was really caring, understanding, and supportive. I also felt relief now that I finally said it. I'm glad I made this jump. It just inspires me more to abstain. Thanks you guys! God bless.
     
    jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 8, 2017
    jasonbrodieeeeee, Jun 8, 2017
    #9
    ApoplecticSpud likes this.

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