Should you date someone 'below' your standards?

If you have to date down you’re not dating down

 

Are you going to spend the rest of your life dating a "body type" of whatever kind? Are you going to marry a "body type"? Find life's meaning with "body type"? Grow old with "body type"? Then, have your body buried next to "body type," or more likely alone since you will have long divorced "body type" or have never committed in the first place? Why don't you change venues now and date a person and a soul - find what's beautiful within a woman, find someone you can fall in love with, meaning you'll be willing to sacrifice many things for to make your love happy (without an immature codependency either way) for the rest of her life.

 

Nothing wrong with dating and meeting people. Finding what you like and don't like, but I would say your approach might be a little off. You'd be surprised how you can connect with women that look nothing like I expected them to look. It's happened to me a couple times. I went back and forth thinking that this can't be the right woman when she didn't look exactly the way I wanted. I messed with happy and eventually we ended. So I would try not basing all connections on physical attractiveness.

I'd check out a couple of podcasts on this too. Tripp Advice is one I listen to a lot and The Mountain Top Podcast. Good content there that might answer your question.

Best of luck

 

just date any woman you find attractive. its better than dating a girl you don't find attractive and getting in a relationship with her only to realize 20 years from now you don't even like her. maybe porn/social media has made you only attracted to thin women. thick women, in my opinion, are far more attractive and apparently more fertile.

 

There was a time when I was only interested in thin women. I was lonely. Not because thin women are scarce, I was insecure and afraid to approach women. I let go of the desire for a thin woman. I have been happily married for 9 years now and have an amazing 18 month old son. Does this mean you should lower your standards? It depends on you. If you can truly let go of the desire for a specific body type and be happy with a different type of woman then yes. If you will always desire a thin woman, then you will be unhappy and grow to resent your wife or girlfriend. Not only will you be miserable but you will make her miserable too. Take some time to think about what kind of woman you want and not just physical attributes. Kindness and intelligence are a few of the things I love about my wife. Evaluate your priorities. When I thought about mine I remembered that I was attracted to curvy women when I was younger. I noticed thin women because of societal pressure: magazines and television.
When you've decided what you really want DON'T SETTLE. Settling means resigning yourself to not having what you want. That leads to misery. If you meet someone and decide that you want that person instead of what you thought you wanted before you met them then you can be happy.
If you decide that having a thin woman is important to you then don't let anyone shame you for your desires. It's better to wait for what you want than settle and make someone else miserable.

 

makes a lot of sense. Lately I've come to that realisation to stop being attracted to women for their looks, and more for their personality and depth, it makes for more interesting and better relationships

 

For building confidence, you can do meditation, like visualising women being attracted to you. Before you approach, visualise the best case scenario, like instead of asking yourself "what if I fail?" ask yourself "What if she goes on a date with me and we have a great time". I often visualise laughing with a girl and having a good time before a date, maybe you could use it before chatting to a girl? Also for approaching, approach as soon as you want to/see them, no use waiting and filling yourself with doubt. Hope this helps, it's alright to play the field and chat to a few, testing the waters a bit. Good luck

 

If you aren’t attracted to someone why force it? I want a girlfriend but I’m not going to be with someone just for the sake of it. That brings its own depression. You have to feel satisfied, and you know when you are and aren’t.

 

Maybe the only issue is the places you're going? There are plenty of beautiful women. On the other hand, I could say the exact same thing as you but I know that I go nearly nowhere I don't really have to...

 

I mainly see them at the gym and no way am I swole enough to stand a chance with them yet

 

I have the same issue, because I'm only sexually attracted to sporty girls since I'm very sporty looking myself.
A few months ago I agreed to meet up with a girl i met on Tinder. She had a nice profile with good photo's, but not any
revealing her full body. By analyzing her arms I assumed she could not be fat. Boy, how wrong and dumb i was.

As planned I met at her place where she attacked me at the doorway and within a few minutes I was laying naked on her bed.
Unfortunately I wasn't happy when her compression suit came off and her fat belly and ass were revealed. I was horny as fuck, so I could not leave.
We had great sex, but I concluded this was not relationship worthy since I did not feel attracted to her.
By that time she was already head over heels in love with me, so I felt stupid for lowering my standards.

Luckily my current date has a perfect body. One of our dates was at a spa, so we could see the full package.

 

I wouldn't recommend dating someone that you feel you are 'lowering your standards' for in order to gain confidence - imagine how much worse you would feel if you were rejected by someone who you are 'settling' for! But they can see through this, usually, and they realise that you are not fully invested in them but just assume desperation on their part. It's not a good look.

Try and broaden your mind to different kinds of women though, sure. Try dating someone who you wouldn't normally go for - especially as you haven't had too much success in the past. I have grown to become very attracted to girls that I wasn't particularly keen on at first, in the past. But if you think she is hideous, don't waste your time or hers

 

I think everyone deserves to date someone they can view as the best possible partner to them. By lowering my standards I'd be doing a disservice to myself.

Not only that, but I think everyone deserves to date someone who sees them as the best possible partner. By lowering my standards I'd be doing disservice to the other person.

Would you be cruel enough to doom someone to a relationship knowing that they'll never be good enough in your eyes?

You deserve better. The people you might date after lowering your standards deserve better.

Now of course in a less serious relationship you can have less strict standards, since you don't even know each other, but don't start a serious relationship with someone just because you want to have a relationship with anyone. Don't promise to love someone forever if you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

 

Honestly don’t promise anyone anything “forever.” That shits getting old.

 

The basis of what I call a serious relationship is two (or I guess in these crazy days it can be more than two) people loving each other unconditionally and sharing the desire to be together forever. Wether they'll actually end up being together forever or even for a significantly long time is of course something only time will tell, but imo if you already think that your relationship won't last, it's not really that serious anyways.

 

Lol most people don’t even love their kids unconditionally. That’s why we have planned parenthood.

 

That's their problem.

 

No dude it’s their kid’s problem too

 

Question: Are you dating standards or a person?