I let this fantasy escalate this last 2 weeks , I was not me I was this self invented person I could not sleep I could not eat right I could not concentrate at work, I did spend a lot of time online countless hours just chatting with guys living this fantasy, posting some pics then deleting them turning my cam on once in a while and broadcasting, wow it was so shameful so degrading, I even made plans to meet with a few men, but I didn't do, now I am back to being myself my normal self, I have been doing this all for about 15 years, back and forth, usually after going back to normal life like right now, I get rid of the clothes I used everything lingerie, shoes, wig make up toys, I just get rid of them I also delete all accounts I created for this activity, wipe off laptops and cellphones, because I don't want to remember none of this its so shameful but this time I am keeping everything, if I feel like coming back for more of this shit well I dont have to buy a lot of stuff again and I don't have to open more internet account since they are still open I know its dangerous to keep all of this but I feel like I MUST FACE THIS DEMON IN THE EYES AND SAY COME AND GET ME!!!!I AM NOT RUNNING FROM YOU I AM FIGHTING YOU!! I AM NOT PLAYING GAMES NO MORE I AM HERE TO WIN!!! COME AND GET ME!! I AM READY FOR YOU!!