Very articulate post my friend. Thank you for sharing. I really hope you beat this addiction. My favorite parts of your post were the metaphor of your couch becoming a bottomless pit. I love how to flipped it and put stools over it. I think you must be a strong person so I have faith you will succeed. And what else struck me was: wake up! wake up! wake up! Addiction and self destructive behaviors feel like a dream. So much of life is how we frame it and our ability to control the frame goes away when we're in this waking dream state. It simply just takes being aware of waking up to wake up. At least for the moment. To stay awoken is an entirely different story. But waking up is like catching a breathe of air while under water. Good luck again and I hope things work out for you and your wife.