Hello, I finally decided to create a nofap account and join the movement. This isn't the first time I try to quit, I've tried a few times, all without success. I think my story goes a little bit different than most of you guys because I didn't start masturbating to straight vanilla porn. My first contact with porn was when a friend of mine linked me a porn site (when I was maybe about 13 or 14), I clicked it and went through the main page only to find a femdom video (guy tied up being submissive to the woman) but only bondage and bdsm, nothing of forced feminization and all of that stuff. Well, me being innocent and curious I clicked it and I think it was the first time I masturbated and it was really intense (not trying to be explicit but just to give context). From then on I associated masturbation and pleasure from it with that category and it went for a few weeks. Then it started to mess with my head. I got exposed to videos of mistresses humiliating men and saying all types of things that men like me were inferior and should serve them, videos of them convicing me of sticking things up my ass and I have this image of me doing that, completely blind by the hornyness, and then when I finished I was crying because I didn't know what I was doing and I didnt want to be doing these things. But of course, you say to yourself you will stop with all of that shit but eventually I gave in. Now I dont know when this happened but from these simple bondage woman with man videos, it climbed up to women telling me I dont have sex with women anymore and that she fucks me and out of nowhere Im watching sissy hypnos thinking of course that it wont do anything to me. Nowadays I already did many things that Im really not proud of, things that are said in these hypnos.. but never exposed my face, never got together with a guy, never exposed myself basically. I was never able to do anything after I came and thats a fact, when Im about to cum million things go through my mind but when I finish I always get a sense of disgust and regret. During this several years process, it did not help the fact that I couldnt get hard while watching straight porn or at least it would be very hard and also as my self esteem and confidence got destroyed I didnt get any sexual contact with a girl or with anyone really. The thing is. I am 100% sure Im straight and as most of you guys know this thing messes with your head so fcking much. Before I started masturbating I got hard when next to girls (around that time), I NEVER thought about being with a guy and until I started this obsession with femdom and sissy hypno I was confident in myself and an extrovert. Nowadays Im also more mature (20) but since I started masturbating I feel like I am a different person than I was, started to be shy and not having confidence at all and all I want is to get myself back and not waste my fucking life. Back in November I was in a good run, went to the gym decided to change and stopped with masturbation! Got motivated for everything in my life, felt good and happy but home alone on a weekend, I wasnt strong enough and I gave in. I think I got the first steps, wanting to change! Even today, me being 20 years old, I only see myself next to a woman, having a fullfilling life, achieving my goals and I really feel that giving up to this porn addiction will make me waste my whole life and I really dont want that. It is not the first time I tried to quit and with that being said I ask for the help and support of you guys and this community. I got inspired by NoFap before and telling my story for the first time really got me to a new exciting start point. Thank you.
My first exposure to P was something pretty bad too. Its fucked up but I try to use that to motivate me to get rid of all P forever. Make sure you continue the good habits you've built, they really help you through the bad times of addiction.
You should try to do a reboot as soon as possible. As fedmom said, you should stop watching these videos as soon as possible. In my experience and many others', you should stop watching porn altogether. Not even "light" content because that will almost certainly lead you to the same kind of videos you're addicted to. This is a very serious matter. As with you, when I was a child I used to do very well on school and I used to be somewhat extoverted as well. I didn't understand at the time, but pornography and masturbation made me insecure and full of fear of other people. On my NoFap journey I've gained a lot of my confidence back when doing my streaks. I'm sure this will help you. I recommend you do some challenges available on the forum. For instance, I recommend this challenge posted by 2525: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/3-challenge-the-three-days-challenge.173158/ You can navigate to 7-day, 14-day and above through the first post. I also recommend reading about how to reboot successfully or how to quit masturbation and pornography (M and P).
Your friend was a bad influence. The best you can do now is NoFap. If you are convinced you are straight then a good streak should bring back your libido for girls.
Guys I have read all your messages and it is keeping me strong. For now Im doing good, 3 days clean and Im finding stuff to do and to keep me occupied/productive. I guess finally opening up about this problem is an even bigger eye opener to me about my life and how I dont want to waste it. Day by day, step by step. To all going through the same issue, stay strong you got this.
@moveforward welcome to the community, glad you could join us, wish you all the best on your journey, and congrats for your 5 days.
Everyone's story is different, your feminization fetish really seems to be porn-induced, I think mine isn't, but the end result is the same. As you said, you were on good tracks being busy, going to the gym etc, until that weekend when you were home alone. I think that's the main factor with those addictive fetishes. To be honest, I'm not sure about fedmom's swearing method in particular, might as well try it out (I haven't yet). But the thinking behind it makes sense to me. From my experience, anything that pumps up your serotonin levels and makes you less depressed (typically sport, doing things outside, working on an important project) will keep submission fetishes at bay. I've had months without those fantasies at particular times in my life, and it correlates pretty well with less depression and anxiety. In those times I didn't even think about it, it was effortless, I didn't have to repress anything. If you know the pattern, you have a way out. And don't beat yourself up for giving in at times, otherwise you may be tempted to discard all your past efforts and relapse for good. Perfection is a nasty, harmful concept.
Also a short but good read: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...1706/overcoming-sex-addiction-self-help-guide There seems to be strong evidence in favor of CBT as far as professional help goes.
CMON BUDDY YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS. Please, start fucking taking a cold shower, meditating and exercising every day. Do everything but not this shit, gain tools and the right mindset, LEARN FROM EVERY MISTAKE YOU DO. I had felt again to similar shit(I am addicted to femdom but I understand how dark is this sissy fetish and I am sorry that you have it) but now after 5 days I am standing again and I am sure that I can beat this pathetic shit. Understand you are craving not humiliation but dopamine. Your dopamine craving is related to these humiliation shit. You try to hide your emotions with these shit, you try to run from real life, but running from it you are destroying your life. Try to face the life, please. Invest time to defeat this. Get even rid of stupid internet, all those triggers and stimulus which you lead to do this stupid shit. You can try writing there journal, find there friends who would help you. I am bored of this shit, I want to kill all of these stupid bitchtresses, I don't want to see anymore any of these stupid addictions there and I am sorry that I can't help anyhow... I just hate that you people suffer from these stupid cruel things. "1. Will acting on this temptation bring me long-term satisfaction or instant gratification? 2. What will be the end result if I act on this temptation? 3. If I choose to act on this temptation will it make my life better or worse? 4. Do I take 100% responsibility for my own actions or do I blame others and make excuses? 5. Can the addicted part of my brain force me to act out against my will? 6. Is there a part of me that wants to walk away from this? 7. Can I choose to follow that part that wants to walk away? 8. Is there a feeling of peace that will come to me if I walk away? 9. Would I feel better about myself tomorrow if I didn’t act out today? 10. Will I honor the rational part of my brain that is encouraging me to walk away from this temptation?" It isn't mine but I have achieved my second biggest streak with only this.
We can all agree that femdom and sissy stuff is not natural. Porn and Masturbation weaken you over a longer period of time, therefore you have the energy and willpower of being the dominated one. Get rid of this as soon as you can. Many have escaped the same problem on this site, they are able to help.
thanks guys and thanks for trying to comprehend the addiction to sissy hypno. Its really messed up... they get ideas into your head that are not truly yours and I get really repulsed by thinking that there are a lot of people trying to ruin our lives for their satisfaction. You all dont know me in real life but if you did you wouldnt have a clue about this. I am definitely not feminine and I think that this fetish survived so long because Im a little bit overweight resulting in being insecure and also because some times I got hard with women and thought to myself that maybe sissy fetish wasnt a problem afterall and that both things could work together, only wasting more and more time... So Im setting the goal... 11 days in I dont want to reset. Maybe I should be more realistic but Im truly dedicated to this and Im stopping this for good. All of your tips will be used, last days were hard but always thought to myself what was more important to me.. long term hapinness or a session of porn that will last me most likely less than half an hour and will not be fulfilling at all. also, I realized that the streak is not what is the most important (with your help of course). I think that it will only work if we change our entire mindset, if we look at life in a different way. Looking at the number going up wont help us if we dont change the way we think. Again guys, Im couting on you to stay strong as well. Im not going to try. Im ending this. Lets take control of our own lives and not let anyone take it from us.
Doing irl sissy activities (crossdressing, sex obviously) is worst, then chats and hypnos then sissy porn. Everything that encourage us to live sissy lifestyle must be purged - all irl actions, chats and hypnos especially. At the same time recovering addict should improve confidence and sense of self worth, because this fetish feeds on lack of confidence and false idea that sissification makes addict more sexually desireable. So purge everything that makes sissy desires stronger and work on yourself. Also the belief that sissification is irreversible is false and obviously comes from sissy hyonons and porn and was designed to make them stronger. It works when subject wants it to work.
Have you seen the thread in my profile? Sissy fetish is just sexual masochism so you might be able to get rid of it with a 5-htp supplement although I tried one myself and it did not do anything for me. I should have said it might have been a poor supplement.
this hypnos shit just works if you want it to work, if its working in you, it's because you want it to work, you have to stop seeing this shit go nofap for few months and after do mo once a week, do not try test to know if you already cured because it's a racionalization of a desire in your brain, ignore that and keep strong
Go out and meet people man. Either male or female. Just talk to them, just get the hell out there in the world. A lot of this nasty sick-twisted-minded fetishes come from spending WAAAAAAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET AND ALONE IN YOUR ROOM/PARENT'S HOUSE. Sign up for a gym membership. Or even better, go and take some martial arts classes. Go and do something masculine, in a masculine environment. Make some career, financial, personal and spiritual goals that will develop you as a man, that will make you a modern warrior so you can stand tall among others, the way that it was supposed to be for men. The thing is that many guys that have this kind of problem grew up in a fatherless environment, without a real man showing them how things work and things that you are suppose to do for yourself and conduct yourself as a man in this world.