Hello, I finally decided to create a nofap account and join the movement. This isn't the first time I try to quit, I've tried a few times, all without success. I think my story goes a little bit different than most of you guys because I didn't start masturbating to straight vanilla porn. My first contact with porn was when a friend of mine linked me a porn site (when I was maybe about 13 or 14), I clicked it and went through the main page only to find a femdom video (guy tied up being submissive to the woman) but only bondage and bdsm, nothing of forced feminization and all of that stuff. Well, me being innocent and curious I clicked it and I think it was the first time I masturbated and it was really intense (not trying to be explicit but just to give context). From then on I associated masturbation and pleasure from it with that category and it went for a few weeks. Then it started to mess with my head. I got exposed to videos of mistresses humiliating men and saying all types of things that men like me were inferior and should serve them, videos of them convicing me of sticking things up my ass and I have this image of me doing that, completely blind by the hornyness, and then when I finished I was crying because I didn't know what I was doing and I didnt want to be doing these things. But of course, you say to yourself you will stop with all of that shit but eventually I gave in. Now I dont know when this happened but from these simple bondage woman with man videos, it climbed up to women telling me I dont have sex with women anymore and that she fucks me and out of nowhere Im watching sissy hypnos thinking of course that it wont do anything to me. Nowadays I already did many things that Im really not proud of, things that are said in these hypnos.. but never exposed my face, never got together with a guy, never exposed myself basically. I was never able to do anything after I came and thats a fact, when Im about to cum million things go through my mind but when I finish I always get a sense of disgust and regret. During this several years process, it did not help the fact that I couldnt get hard while watching straight porn or at least it would be very hard and also as my self esteem and confidence got destroyed I didnt get any sexual contact with a girl or with anyone really. The thing is. I am 100% sure Im straight and as most of you guys know this thing messes with your head so fcking much. Before I started masturbating I got hard when next to girls (around that time), I NEVER thought about being with a guy and until I started this obsession with femdom and sissy hypno I was confident in myself and an extrovert. Nowadays Im also more mature (20) but since I started masturbating I feel like I am a different person than I was, started to be shy and not having confidence at all and all I want is to get myself back and not waste my fucking life. Back in November I was in a good run, went to the gym decided to change and stopped with masturbation! Got motivated for everything in my life, felt good and happy but home alone on a weekend, I wasnt strong enough and I gave in. I think I got the first steps, wanting to change! Even today, me being 20 years old, I only see myself next to a woman, having a fullfilling life, achieving my goals and I really feel that giving up to this porn addiction will make me waste my whole life and I really dont want that. It is not the first time I tried to quit and with that being said I ask for the help and support of you guys and this community. I got inspired by NoFap before and telling my story for the first time really got me to a new exciting start point. Thank you.