Today I begin anew to awake from the sleepy, hypnotic state of porn addiction. The escape from anxiety and conflict that porn offers has put me in a state of numbness. I was trapped in a dream of repeated moments of exhilaration, staring at a screen and leaving real world with wither. Ephesians 5:14 says, "Sleeper, awake! Rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." The porn jokes of late night television assured me that all men do it and do it often. I lied to myself and said, "I am normal." Then a few weeks ago I told a friend about my daily use of porn and he said he would look maybe once a month out of spite and horny-ness for not getting sex from his wife. My faith has suffered. The still small voice of God in my daily life was drowned out by the barrage of scenes on my computer screen. Sleeper, awake! I wanted to start my journey to no PMO a few weeks ago. That lasted 4 days and then I was so disheartened that I didn't come back for over a week. I didn't like the real world. To wake up from my addiction meant being open to emotions that I didn't want. I FEAR conflict and that fear triggers a desire (that feels like a need) to view porn. I am getting the support I need to deal with FEAR in therapy, but I need this community to support me in my letting go of porn. It is a beautiful morning and I am glad to be awake.