Slept with more than 200 women - Never came once - Death Grip Syndrome

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Mystery Agent, Mar 26, 2016.

  1. Mystery Agent

    Mystery Agent Fapstronaut

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    Hey Guys,

    I am the HAPPIEST man alive having stumbled upon this website. I have been telling everyone I know about this site and am 100% committed to fix my Death Grip Syndrome (DGS) so I can cum from vaginal intercourse, blow jobs etc.

    Let's take a step back and let me explain to you who I am etc.

    I am 28 years old. Since I was 16 years old, I have PMO with sexual lubricant basically on a daily basis. I CANNOT cum without lubricant.

    I had sex for the first time when I was 17. I remember it so well - I was thinking - whaaaat? really?? this is sex?? I couldn't feel anything!!! I was wearing a condom but I just didn't feel anything. Never came and it's been the same since then!

    I am a good looking guy, I am good with girls - but I could never hold a relationship because I cannot cum from sex, blowjobs, basically nothing. I have had to finish myself on a girl WITH lubricant every time I ever had sex. EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!!!!

    Can you imagine that? I have slept with so many women - and not one of them has ever made me cum. There has been the odd occasion where I did cum from a blowjob etc. but this is because the girl was super slutty which triggered some sort of fantasy of porn.

    Long story short - I never talked about this to anyone until a few months ago when a girl friend of mine told me that I am super missing out and that I need to fix this. That this WAS the reason girls were breaking up with me!

    This was the reason why I was single my whole life. Girls left me because I couldn't cum and it was weird for them.

    Well......this is going to change. I am now in day 5 of no masturbation and intend to at least get to day 30-40 (advice needed on what I need in my specific situation). Deleted all my porn and never want to watch it again - this isn't easy...obviously.

    BUT I NEED TO REBOOT. PERIOD. NO GOING BACK.

    I am the only one that can make me cum. I have developed such a rhythm with my hand that is hard etc. and sat with a laptop in front of me watching porn my whole life that this is the only way to cum.

    I went on this website called curedeathgrip and from there I started following this plan where I don't masturbate for one week and then use a fleshlight to mimic sexual intercourse and to align what sex is like for my dick. I just ordered the fleshlight. I don't think that is a good idea to do just yet as I think I shouldn't masturbate at all for at least 30-40 days to "reboot". Maybe then I should use the fleshlight and use it with a condom. Advice welcome!

    I discovered this site 24 hours ago and I am soooo incredibly happy. It's better than the curedeathgrip one I think. Seems like there is more a community here and I can see that other people have had the same problem as me!

    I just started seeing a new girl and my third date is coming up. I am day 5 into no masturbation. How does it work with carrying out a plan like this? Can I sleep with her?

    Do I have hope??? Advice here please!! Any guidance you recommend?

    I need everyone's help - I need to change my life and once and for all be able to cum and resolve the Death Grip Syndrome that has ruined my life.

    Thank you so much for your time.

    I look forward hearing your comments, if anyone has had similar stories and the HOPE that I have?
     
  2. Golgo 13

    Golgo 13 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome, we hope for ur success.
     
  3. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Hello and welcome! :)

    200 women? Jeez! :eek: I mean, didn't it occur to you after 5 or 6 or 10 that you have a problem dude? :rolleyes: Even the use of a lubricant is an artificial method. Your dick should be sensitive enough to touch not to need that. I am just amazed it never occurred to you why any of these women didn't stick around. :oops: You don't mention problems in staying erect for vaginal intercourse, so the death grip could not have been so damaging as it has with some - those who are completely impotent.

    30 or 40 days is a decent challenge to set yourself to start with. But you will require complete abstinence from porn and masturbation for much longer than that for your brain to heal and finally reboot. I wrote about this last week. So, please do not expect the problems of more than decade to be resolved in six or seven weeks. Remain hopeful, but also realistic. Here is the info I mentioned:- https://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/has-anyone-never-recovered.61885/#post-464676
     
    FredSamson, HopeFaith and seth like this.
  4. Mystery Agent

    Mystery Agent Fapstronaut

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    Thanks so much for your reply! :)

    Yes it always did occur to me - I just ignored it all this time...But yes -now I have discovered that this needs to be resolved once and for all.

    I have NEVER had a problem with my dick not staying hard...it is always hard as a rock - and can last like that for hours. The only issue I have is cumming.

    How many days do you realistically think I need? And what should I do now that I am starting to date this girl? Am I allowed to have sex with her with this abstinence?

    Lastly - do you think I can fix this?

    Thank you :)
     
    HopeFaith likes this.
  5. PrevCDM

    PrevCDM Guest

    I haven't slept with that many girls but I've suffered from the same thing since I was young. It's more rare than pied but it's just as physiological. I remember finding this forum just over a year ago and being as excited about solving a life long issue. I've had girlfriends but we eventually always grew intimately distant. My porn use (and then later ts escort use) was the only way I could come. There was obviously something very wrong.

    I'm about to complete 90 days hard mode (today). I struggled to get here over 13 months of many relapses. Just like people who suffer from PIED or ED... Initially the drive is to fix the problem at hand (pun) , but what you end up finding out as you go along is that there is a really fucked up reason why we all turned to porn in the first place. Why we have become addicts and not just desensitized on down below, but really... desensitized up above (heart and brain).

    I wish you all the best on your journey. Embark on your quest, but know that I really feel our issue won't go away permanently until we fix our brain, forgive our shame, and embrace true love of others and self. That takes time for many. But life is a really the best gift we have and how we make things happen with time.

    By the way, I do look forward when I'll sleep with a beautiful woman, who I'm deeply attracted to, and who will absorb me and my most valuable life seed. But now that I've worked this hard, that won't be just anyone... It'll be a special one and that's partly how I know I've healed already.

    Strength.
     
    HopeFaith likes this.
  6. Mystery Agent

    Mystery Agent Fapstronaut

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    When reading other people's issues I believe mine is a lot more straightforward - it's DGS that is at play.

    I don't have erectile problems at all - I can remain hard for hours and NEVER had an erectile problem.

    I just need to stop masturbating, increase sensitivity of the penis and stop watching porn.
     
  7. MrCAllen301986

    MrCAllen301986 Fapstronaut

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    Just read your story and I totally can related. I remember the first time I had sex, I didn't cum either. It felt more like a job, than something that was suppose to be pleasurable and fun. I've had sex with 2 women a total of 4 times, and the only time I really cum was my second time. The last time I had sex with a woman, I didn't cum and I really didn't enjoy it. Furthermore, I would recommend you to get rid of your fleshlight, because that's just another fake stimulation of a real woman just like your hand and you might condition yourself to cum to your fleshlight if you're not careful. I purchased one of those things quite a few years back. When I look back on it, purchasing that thing wasn't the smartest choice. At the time, I justified my purchase by telling myself that if women can have sex toys and dildos, then I should be allowed to buy a sex toy myself. When I think about it, I really reduced myself as a man to not only reduce myself to my hand, but also to a sex toy. Overall, I wish you the best in overcoming your DGS and get rid of your fleshlight, because it will do you no go down the road.
     
    HopeFaith likes this.
  8. Mystery Agent

    Mystery Agent Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your reply. So what have you done to solve the issue? How long did you go without fap? Did it help..are you cured now?
     
  9. MrCAllen301986

    MrCAllen301986 Fapstronaut

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    The last streak of no PMO was 44 days when I took on the 90 day No PMO challenge last year. I have yet to match and surpass this mark. I'm not cured yet, but hopeful by joining this website and talking to others about my porn addiction I will finally be cured. Things I've done in the past to cure this addiction include: No PMO challenge, cold showers, praying to God and reading the Bible, watching videos about porn addiction and taking notes on them, and self discipline.
     
  10. RadiantStar

    RadiantStar Fapstronaut

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    The fact that you slept with over 200 women is in and of itself a problem. How are you not scared of catching an STD, getting someone pregnant, or getting tangled in some anxiety inducing drama? Why not just get a girlfriend, someone who will stand by your side for a long period of time?
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2016
  11. MrCAllen301986

    MrCAllen301986 Fapstronaut

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    I was thinking the same thing. This society keeps pushing this mentality of promiscuity, however, this society doesn't want to acknowledge these negative consequences associated with promiscuity. Furthermore, you really can't connect with women this way.
     
    The Evangelist likes this.
  12. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    Had sex for the first time a couple of weeks back. Didn't feel anything. Want to cure this death grip as soon as possible.

    No masturbation. No porn.

    Does anyone know of any tricks or hints that would speed up the process?
     
  13. Limp Biscuits

    Limp Biscuits Fapstronaut

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    Oh thank god another guy with the same problem! I'm 29 years old and I've slept with maybe 80 to 100 women. My story is exactly the same as yours, but I don't really have a strong death-grip and I don't use lube - and I've been in long relationships during this time. I've ALWAYS had to masturbate myself to orgasm despite being with women that most guys would classify as 9/10 or even 9.5/10.

    I'm on day 8 now of total monk mode: no fantasy, no porn, no masturbation. HOWEVER, I am allowing natural sex - but I will not masturbate even during that. I'm blue-balling because I haven't orgasmed despite having sex since I started this.

    I have high hopes that by day 90 or so, I'll be fully cured. And then I'll spend the rest of my days having loads of sex with loads of women. (I'm good looking, have confidence, have a great girlfriend that loves to get other girls to sleep with us, so it's sad that I'm suffering from PIED).
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2016
  14. diamondboi

    diamondboi Banned

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    Man, this shit is funny.

    DUDE, that's hilarious. I wish you a road to a recover though for sure.

    I have never seen such a case. How were you able to get off with your hand every time? I take it you don't have a porn problem, or maybe a minor case. Do you furiously jerk off onto the women while turning red in the face?

    Has a women ever laughed when you finished on her? I can only imagine how much pressure, strength and velocity is involved in such a tug. shake weight.


    That deathgrip? How do I know if I have deathgrip syndrome? Women suck at handjobs without lube. hands are to delicate, while the touch is to soft.
     
  15. DireMerl

    DireMerl Fapstronaut

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    ^this guy^

    Women suck at handjobs?! If that's your attitude, you don't deserve a woman.

    Ever tried, I don't know? Maybe exploring what you like together? Telling each other what gets you off? Teaching each other how to please each other?

    You still clearly have messed up attitudes towards women and sex with another human being.

    To the op, porn and your own hand has conditioned you to only be able to climax a certain way. Abstaining from touching yourself should reset this process. Don't get a fleshlite, don't touch your dick and don't watch porn. You can have real sex during this if you want to, but it will probably slow your recovery time. Ignore those people that laugh at this issue. It is huge. And it's a lot more common than you think.

    Of course I'm no expert, you may find that going pmo free doesn't help. But it certainly won't hurt to try it and see if it makes a difference. Some people on here have managed to cure this problem from NoFap. Take a look at the success stories for some examples. Good luck.
     
  16. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    Going to be trying coconut oil as a step towards curing deathgrip. Hoping it helps speed up the healing process
     
  17. DireMerl

    DireMerl Fapstronaut

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    What are you planning on doing with the coconut oil?
     
  18. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    You wont find fulfilment in sex. It comes with boosting your self esteem and taking care of your business :) but still thats insane ...200!
     
  19. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    Applying coconut oil to my penis everyday. Also using it as lube during sex.
     
  20. DireMerl

    DireMerl Fapstronaut

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    Careful it doesn't escalate into pmo with coconut oil. Honestly your best bet is to leave your Johnson alone. Let it and your mind heal. Focus on enjoying sexy times with a partner.
     

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