Slut Shaming

T

tordlulu

New Fapstronaut
What do you guys think about slut shaming? A few people call me a bitch and a fag because I like sucking. I don't know how to respond sometimes.
 
People can call you whatever they want. You will only feel shame if you are ashamed of yourself.
 
f* what people think men, live your life the way you want, as long as you're happy that's what matters.
 
tordlulu said:
What do you guys think about slut shaming? A few people call me a bitch and a fag because I like sucking. I don't know how to respond sometimes.
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If people are calling you the f word, I doubt it's because you're a "slut." Its because youre gay. Which is completely not okay, they shouldnt be bullying you for being gay. But I dont think this has anything to do with slut shaming.
 
When it comes to actual "slut shaming" I think it depends on the situation.

I mean, bullying is never okay, period, no matter what form it takes. But if someone thinks kind of negatively about someone who has a lot of casual sex, I think that's perfectly natural, because having a lot of casual sex all the time is dangerous, and in my opinion, sex should be more sacred than that. That doesnt mean I think people should be allowed to bully someone for being more sexually active than they agree with, but I dont think you can or should be able to control how they view you and your life choices.

But again, that's in regards to actual slut shaming, which I dont think this is. This just sounds to me like people picking on you for being gay, which is not cool at all. Do your best to keep people like that out of your life and surround yourself with people who love you and support you. Even people who disagree with you can be good to have around, but not if they're going to voice their disagreement in the form of bullying.
 
Words / rejection / criticism / judgement can be harmful, but only to the degree that you allow it to.

The less certainty or respect you have about yourself, the more other people's harsh words will affect you.

Take for an example if someone called me useless / dumb / pathetic for not knowing how to swim. I know that my swimming skills are weak and I don't care much for improving those skills at the moment. So those words doesn't even register on my emotions.

If you're proud of who you are and the way that you're living, then you wouldn't feel belittled that much when people put negative pressure on you. If you're uncertain and don't think too highly of yourself, then other people's pressure will affect you negatively. If you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. If people squeeze you with criticisms / judgement / harsh words, they'll get?

How do you respond? You can give them none of your attention because all they really want is a negative reaction out of you. If you feel the need to defend yourself, you can ask them why your way of life insecurely threatens them so much and it's maybe because they're having thoughts about you sucking people off. Basically either silently or verbally tell them to fuck off.
 
tordlulu said:
What do you guys think about slut shaming? A few people call me a bitch and a fag because I like sucking. I don't know how to respond sometimes.
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I don't have a problem with people selecting against behavior they find reprehensible. If they want to distance themselves with abusive language, that's it's own thing. At the point of harassment or slander then it becomes problematic.

Do you feel you are being a slut? With the degradation of social values, and the likely possibility of contracting an STI from promiscuous sexual activity, I think such behavior may very well be dangerous, especially for homosexual men because of the ease by which men can coordinate sexual interactions casually.
 
elevate said:
How do you respond? You can give them none of your attention because all they really want is a negative reaction out of you. If you feel the need to defend yourself, you can ask them why your way of life insecurely threatens them so much and it's maybe because they're having thoughts about you sucking people off. Basically either silently or verbally tell them to fuck off.
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So he should hide from the world like an orange in the pantry?
 
EthanW. said:
So he should hide from the world like an orange in the pantry?
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Removing verbally abusive people from your life is not "hiding from the world." Nobody deserves to sit around and accept abuse and bullying. Deciding that you are worth more than that and deserve more respect than that and choosing to remove those people from your life is NOT weak, and I resent the implication that it is. It's very hard to do for a lot of people, and they dont need people like you making them feel weak for taking care of themselves. That's ridiculous.
 
Castielle said:
Removing verbally abusive people from your life is not "hiding from the world." Nobody deserves to sit around and accept abuse and bullying. Deciding that you are worth more than that and deserve more respect than that and choosing to remove those people from your life is NOT weak, and I resent the implication that it is. It's very hard to do for a lot of people, and they dont need people like you making them feel weak for taking care of themselves. That's ridiculous.
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You are drawing very much from my question. I implied weakness in removing oneself from abusive situations? I do not see how.

The problem is that he still has not presented the context of his original post. People are merely inferring bullying. Can it be the case that his friends are the ones tagging him with the mentioned insults as a form play, yet he is unsure if he should still be offended? It is possible.

My question was aimed at seeking clarification from another poster. I think there are ways to understand the actions and behavior of such people without engaging with them, but it is a matter if such methods are available to the OP. It is possible that only by engaging with abusive people that he is able to learn such things.

And, by refraining from proper discourse, you WOULD be weakening your ability to be versatile in dynamic confrontations with other people, in the real world.

I have already stated that harassment and violence is a different issue.
 
EthanW. said:
You are drawing very much from my question. I implied weakness in removing oneself from abus
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You equated removing oneself from the situation to "hiding like an orange in a pantry." How exactly does that not convey weakness?
 
Castielle said:
You equated removing oneself from the situation to "hiding like an orange in a pantry." How exactly does that not convey weakness?
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The question is which situation? Did you read the rest of my post? I explain what I meant.

An orange in a pantry is meant to convey isolation. Isolation is neutral, as far as I am concerned. Weakness can be derived from isolation, so it depends what that poster meant. We should be asking him if oranges are a beta fruit in his mind, because he originated the comparison.
 
EthanW. said:
The question is which situation? Did you read the rest of my post? I explain what I meant.

An orange in a pantry is meant to convey isolation. Isolation is neutral, as far as I am concerned. Weakness can be derived from isolation, so it depends what that poster meant. We should be asking him if oranges are a beta fruit in his mind, because he originated the comparison.
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Alright, whatever, we just disagree. I dont think theres anything wrong with someone removing someone from their life for calling them a f*g or a bitch. I dont need context, personally. I dont tolerate that in my life.
 
EthanW. said:
I don't have a problem with people selecting against behavior they find reprehensible. If they want to distance themselves with abusive language, that's it's own thing. At the point of harassment or slander then it becomes problematic.

Do you feel you are being a slut? With the degradation of social values, and the likely possibility of contracting an STI from promiscuous sexual activity, I think such behavior may very well be dangerous, especially for homosexual men because of the ease by which men can coordinate sexual interactions casually.
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Well, I am usually quite indifferent to those comments. I am a flaming homosexual who likes penises. So of course I like sucking. If they don't like it they can suck a hot one.

But often I feel like people say things like that to me only because I am the passive party during sex. It sometimes baffles me that straight or even gay guys who are dominant in bed are less likely to be shamed and are often given a pat on the back for having multiple sexual partners, despite the fact that they are far more likely to get STDs or HIV than me, since I don't have many sexual partners. I don't even do anal sex (there is nothing wrong with anal but it's just not my thing) or engage in any other risky sexual activities.
 
tordlulu said:
Well, I am usually quite indifferent to those comments. I am a flaming homosexual who likes penises. So of course I like sucking. If they don't like it they can suck a hot one.

But often I feel like people say things like that to me only because I am the passive party during sex. It sometimes baffles me that straight or even gay guys who are dominant in bed are less likely to be shamed and are often given a pat on the back for having multiple sexual partners, despite the fact that they are far more likely to get STDs or HIV than me, since I don't have many sexual partners. I don't even do anal sex (there is nothing wrong with anal but it's just not my thing) or engage in any other risky sexual activities.
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I would agree that straight men who are promiscuous should also seriously consider the ramifications of casual sex. However, do not be quick to dismiss such possibilities; it is not necessarily true that they are "far more likely" to contract these conditions than yourself.

How many sexual partners have you had? How many of them have had multiple (more than 1) sexual partners themselves, and can also be considered promiscuous? What do you consider risky sexual activity?

Because this thread is about slut shaming, so if you don't mind answering some of these questions, we can better establish whether these statements directed at you are justified. If you still care about it.
 
People like that are always going to exist. They're never going away so mine as well work on yourself.
 
logical_chaos said:
Personally, I blame the whiteknights. They think it's "nice" to do nice things for these women and expect things in return. e-girls are only doing it because it works. It's like if you see a woman complaining about assholes. They only do it because it works.
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Ah yes, the Orbiters! lol; they're hoping to get a piece of that pity pussy.
 
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