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Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by +TenPercent, Feb 3, 2021.
If you're looking for a strict AP, I am willing to work with you.
I’ve seen a lot of women without bras lately and have always found this very arousing and triggering.
Women can put their sexual organs on display. They can change the shape and appearance with bras, or they can go braless and leave little to the imagination.
A braless woman can put the size and shape of her breasts on display for the whole world to see. And, as women’s nipples get erect when they are aroused, they can also display their state of arousal.
What if men could do that???
Part of me wishes that it was normalized for men to wear outfits that put their package on display … in public! (not just in underwear ads for gay men).
I often wonder (and fantasize) about what it would be like if the whole world knew how small my penis is and what it looks like. And … if it also happened that the whole world could see whenever I was aroused - what would that be like?
I think it's great that you're learning to live with a smaller penis (even though it's not a relationship death sentence), but I think some of your posts in here border on pornographic and self pleasuring.
It's obvious that you derive sexual pleasure and excitement from the thought of having a small penis, which may be innate or porn-induced. One obviously can be mostly eradicated with a reboot, the other cannot.
However, obsessing over it right now is reactivating your brainwaves wired to porn and other negative activities. During your reboot you need to avoid this type of thinking and fantasizing; it is definitely slowing or reversing your recovery.
For as long as you're recovering from porn, whether it's with a reboot or rewire, stop thinking about your damn dick. Focus on your partner and your 90 day streak, and after that start having sex. Continuous fantasizing is not helping.
What stimuli must I avoid during my reboot (did I relapse)?
What about fantasizing during a reboot?
see rebooting basics page
Is porn making my social anxiety/confidence/depression/anxiety/OCD/bipolar worse?
Well . . . I guess it isn't always. Walking in on my girlfriend with another man, might put that statement into question. That and having another girlfriend tell me that "after having been with other men", she just couldn't be satisfied with me anymore.
Lots of good advice in your post, and I'm sorry to hear it if my posts were triggering for other people.
Imagine if we could live in a world without triggers . . .
But, we don't. That's just how it is and it's our job to figure out how to navigate through those triggering experiences. As it happens, with the warm weather, I see many, many women in revealing, suggestive, and/or very flattering outfits every day. I do need to try my best to avoid indulging in fantasies, but some days are just harder than others.
While that is generally good advice, I'm not sure if that formula is the one that will fix all of my challenges. I have done multiple 90+ day streaks without orgasm, and a year without porn or jerking off. Currently at 212 days without porn and 212 days without masturbating until orgasm and 24 days without orgasm and 20 days without sex and 0 days without masturbation.
I do wish that I was having sex more regularly with my girlfriend . . . it's me, not her and I'm quite sure that she would LOVE to have sex more often. What I don't want to do is to have sex with my girlfriend to get my rocks off after getting triggered by other women.
Ok a couple questions:
Did you actually walk in on your gf with someone else and did another woman tell you your penis was too small?
Can you elaborate on the differences between your urges for porn and the fantasies you are having for other women?
Can you explain your masturbation habits over the past 90 days (even if you did not watch porn or orgasm)?
What is your idea of sex with your girlfriend? What would you do?
1. Yes. And, yes. The first was my girlfriend of a year and a half and the second woman was my girlfriend of almost 2 years
2. Not easily. Other than porn is something that I have more control over, it's an action that I can not take. In April 2020, I looked at a little porn and relapsed for 9 months. So I could easily fall into the habit. Real women - I have much less control over that. And fantasies . . . also hard to control. I can get extremely triggered by certain circumstances and fantasies are like porn on tap - maybe a thought pops into my head, maybe a fantasy comes out in my dreams, or when I'm half asleep . . . or maybe I'm just having a rough day and could use a little pick me up.
3. I do well for awhile. If I go long enough without orgasm, I start to feel flatline. That's often where I get tempted to touch and try to fire up my arousal. Sometimes in hopes that it will lead to my initiating sex with my girlfriend. Other times, I slip with M just from being aroused at seeing a sexy woman. I often feel like I will O within seconds, but then back off. Then start again. Once I get started, it's hard not to keep edging, keeping myself aroused for a long time, losing track of time and repeatedly coming all too close to orgasm.
4. Making love. Give her pleasure. I'd like to practice semen retention, but she struggles with that and always enjoys it more when I orgasm. I always make sure that she has an orgasm when we make love, regardless of if I have one or if I experience PE.
Hey, You are making some good observations about @+TenPercent and his behavior. I think it helps him and a lot of people!
Alright I'm sorry that happened to you. That is awful. You are much better without these people in your life.
This sounds like the way you think about women is still caught up with the way you think about porn. This isn't good. It means your mind is still fucked up. It's totally normal to fantasize about women you see in public, especially if it's been a while since you got some. However, if the fantasies you have about these women are just their bodies in porn scenes you're imagining, you still have an issue! You have not rebooted or rewired correctly. You cannot keep going like this. You need to try something else.
What are you doing?!?! If you are rebooting and rewiring you should absolutely not be masturbating, especially edging! This is absolutely killing you. Your counter literally says "No Porn No Masturbation 213 Days".
There are so many things in this last one that confuse me:
Making love and giving your girlfriend pleasure does not have to mean PIV sex. There are millions of other things you can do to her.
You say you're practicing semen retention, but you admit to MOing and edging yourself?
Semen retention is destroying your sex life and relationship with your gf, why are you continuing to practice it?
Why are you obsessed with not orgasming?
Do you understand that women like to give pleasure as well as receive? She obviously wants to make you cum and enjoy sex, so why won't you let her?
I'm sorry if this came off as aggressive and like an attack, but I have just seen so many contradictions and confusing decisions in this thread. I have been where you are and I am trying to help, but I really do not understand some of the choices you have been making, especially because they seem to not be making your situation better
maybe NOW would be a good time to turn your attention to picking apart someone else’s recovery (not mine) and subjecting them to your judgement.
I have about three inches in all honesty, may I join?
Absolutely. Welcome to the club!
Well I should clarify my package is three inches when it's soft, 5 inches when it is hard.
Still a pretty small penis, but at least you got @+TenPercent beat. LOL!
If I'm being honest @+TenPercent will have me beaten tomorrow I have to start masking up again every time I wear a mask my p*nis gets smaller not sure why though.
Hello @+TenPercent may I talk to you at some point?
You’re welcome to post on this thread or to send me a PM.
Whelp it looks like I was right the mask did decrease the size of my penis which means @+TenPercent now has beaten me.
You talking about a face mask? Did you put a face mask over your penis?? I don't get it!?! LOL!
Lol no I have no idea why but after I got back from one of my shifts to use the restroom I noticed that my package is no longer three inches, it is now two inches.