Small Pen*s Club - (males, females and non-binary welcome)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by +TenPercent, Feb 3, 2021.

  1. I might relapse any minute now . . . Egats!!
    And not just with M, but with P.
    Someone sent me an porn (to me, anyway) image recently and I have just been craving more ever since. I dream about it! I keep thinking about the last porn that I looked at . . . almost 400 days ago!!
    I feel like I am still hooked on porn. It's like imposter syndrome or something. Yes, I haven't looked at porn in almost 400 days, but I am still addicted. I still fantasise about most of the same things (cuckold, sph, sexual denial, etc.) and lately I have really been craving it!

    Also frustrated that so many of the sites like this are for porn rather than masturbation. I struggle so much with M, why not just look at some P so that I can reset it all back to day 0 and identify better as a porn addict?

    FYI - last time I had the bright idea to look at porn, I was looking at the cuck / sph stuff pithing minutes . . . and saving images. It took me 9 months to break that spell and finally delete the last image. :oops:
     
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  2. hydrothunder

    hydrothunder Fapstronaut

    don't say that. you're setting yourself up by thinking about that. keep focussed on what you want to accomplish.
    you're close, don't give up
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  3. Not out of the woods by any means, but I haven’t looked at porn yet

    and
    I have locked myself in a chastity device

    so there’s a chance that I might get through one more day without porn or masturbation (though I have failed miserably with regards to fantasy and edging).
     
  4. Congratulations on this thread! Glad to see such openness to discuss this issue....I only read and responded up to about page 5....

    I have the EXACT view of mine as well.
    To me, you are actually very big. I measure well under 2.75", and truthfully I am likely really only just under 2.5" (or less, at times) when fully at attention, and only about 3/4"-to-1" when at rest, and the girth is about ring-finger-size. So I am very very tiny by any standards...my whole assemblage is very small, micro-package for sure. If I were a hamster I'd be hung, but I am not either of those things!! LOL. Like you, I have viewed my part as a clitty as well, and have felt that way for many years. It was almost impossible to masturbate like a real boy, so in the past I have used two-fingers (or one) as it lays against my tummy. I found that worked really well. Also, it never ever came close to filling the little pouch of any boy underpants (back when I wore them)...not ever. All that extra cotton cloth just bunched up and annoyed me as there was nothing to support --- a daily reminder of what I lacked. When I finally got to the age of locker rooms and showers, I was so self-concious and embarrassed and was teased mercilessly.
    I like that. Be you. We should all not be ashamed.
    this is very very true. it is freeing
    I think that is difficult....I am tiny, petite, short....so no one ever expected masculinity. But agree, you MUST be true to yourself, no matter what!!
    OMG this is so so so so true!!! I find that guys who are working hard at being "alpha" or overtly "straight" or "macho" are often the EXACT OPPOSITE in bed.
    RM & Jungkook!
    I am trans, and have an extremely strong desire for this -- having a man deep inside me. For me, having such tiny body part as I do, I have not experienced penetrating someone, and it is not really of interest to me. However, the warmth and connection that comes from being penetrated, and the time for that to happen as we entangle and enmesh, that is deeply fulfilling and reinforcing ---- true feelings of love, nurturing, care, and bonding in intimate, loving ways. Perfection.
    I can only speak from my own behaviors ---- but I do think like this: I expect that a guy with a bigger penis will take me and be more dominant than a guy with a smaller penis. Guys with bigger things have much much more confidence (BDE) and it just shows. My response is to be more submissive the bigger the guy is --- both if he has a big thing AND, especially, if he is tall and muscular. Maybe it is my expectation driving the outcome, but i find it true --- taller muscular men with big things just take control, ask less "permission", and just get after it doing what they want at their own pace, moving and positioning me as they choose. I find that, yes, they please me....but it is in the process of doing what THEY want with me to please THEMSELVES first.
    In contrast, I find smaller or near-average guys tend to be more attentive to my pleasure as well....and less self-driven and more couple-driven in seeking pleasure (if that makes sense?). So in some ways smaller and average guys are, I find, more creative and attentive lovers...while big guys just expect the fireworks to happen for me as they do their thing. Not always, but it is a fair rationalization.
    Also, not to be overlooked, but the shape and look of a penis is as important (to me) as it's size. A perfectly shaped one is something to worship - a thing of beauty, natures handiwork. It is true, regardless of size. So that needs to be in the equation, too.
    Definitely. Mine is uber-sensitive always.

    I could keep responding to this "most interesting thread on NoFap!" but i will stop for now.

    I have one final thing to add. As I have never ever had anything but a tiny pee-pee, and have imagined myself more feminine than masculine for much of my life (and now undoubtedly so), i have wished for years that I was actually SMALLER than my 2.5" so i could be smooth and "itty-bitty-bump-free" when I or my lover looked "down there". I actually have hated when I began to get aroused in the normal male way.

    For that reason I started wearing panties and, even better, thongs when I was in junior high school (not on gym class days) for some level of supporting my little clitty -- the support that I did not get from "tightey-whiteys".

    Does or has anyone ever experienced those feelings?? Wishing you were smaller, so you really just had a thingie the size of a clitoris? I have felt like this for at least half my life. I still do. I wish it was only 1/2" in size and pinky (or smaller) girth.

    Enjoyed reading everyones posts so far!!! Great thread. Hoping I can be accepted here with you all. :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 23, 2022
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  5. I have been noticing that when I have been relapsing my penis shrinks, but when I make it a fair while without relapsing it grows back to normal, and I get larger boners.
    I wonder why that is.
     
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  6. If I'm completely honest, I'm not sure if I have ever really wanted a bigger penis. For most of my life mine averaged about 4.75" (sometimes 4.9" and once, just once, it measured a solid 5.0"). It always felt so frustrating to be so close to average, but not quite. Perhaps as a coping mechanism for this uncertainty, or as a way to make sense of my sexual failures with women, I sometimes did wish that it was even smaller - if I had 4.5", then it would be clear, no more uncertainty that I had a small (but not tiny) penis. Eventually I became fixated on that measurement and really wishing that I had a smaller penis, even praying for it . . . and about 2 years ago it measured at 4.5 inches and has stayed there (or even a little shorter) ever since!! :D :) :):)

    Yup, panties. I wore them for years and they really are more comfortable for me . . . but also triggering. I still crave panties sometimes when I feel like I just need some comfort, some self love and acceptance. As a compromise, I have discovered unisex underwear (i.e. Tomboy X) which is, in reality, panties with more masculine styling like boyish patterns and a wider waistband.

    Thank you for pointing this out. It really adds some balance. Length is important and girth is, too, but there's still nothing worse than an ugly penis. I am blessed in that regards - I love the way mine looks and have often been told that I have a really nice looking c*ck (I can't really bring myself to call what I have a cock, that's a word that should be reserved for something more substantial. Dick maybe, but not cock.

    I am tall, six foot even, so I think people just naturally expect me to be packing 6 inches. :rolleyes:
     
  7. Yeah . . . that's too much. We all struggle with urges and can get carried away, but you might want to delete that post before somebody reports it. ;)

    I'd hate to see you get kicked off, or chased out of here by haters. I am happy that you are here and hope you can stay in the club! :)
     
  8. done. Poof!!! its gone....
    I am hanging with you and the others....my fellow clubsters
     
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  9. My comments from about page 8 to start of page 12. This continues to be a fascinating thread, love it!!

    this...
    and this...
    ...agree this is natural.

    ...so is this natural.

    This (and other posts about hung guys) was difficult to get thru for me, very difficult to concentrate

    I was and am triggered immensely reading about "hung guys" and prison. Last night I had to stop posting and tonight I am having emotional triggering reading this stuff. My imagination is going wild....this is the go-to fantasy for me since my pre-teen years.

    me too
    I think this is very true. I love it when I am with a much larger man, and I can say "Look how tiny I am? I am nothing compared to you."....and it is true. But people misplace where the power lies in such a situation --- for me, I love that I can control a guy 2 to 3 times bigger than me with submission and seduction. It is truly empowering to me.
     
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  10. I am totally fascinated by this thread, third night on it!!

    Really good article I read on VOX about thingie sizes:

    "Perhaps more interesting is the narrow distribution of erect penis size. Most men are remarkably close to each other: 4.7 inches is in the bottom 25 percent, and 5.6 inches is at the top 25 percent. Very few people — those within the top 1 percent — reach 9 inches."
    • meaning 50% of the men in the world -- fully HALF of the worlds population of men --- are between 4.7 inches and 5.6 inches....the spread separating them LESS than one inch!!!
    Hence, based on the data above, @+TenPercent, you (at your stated 4.75") DO NOT have a "very small penis" at 4.75" in size. Think of it this way.....
    • Fully 25% of the worlds male population is SMALLER than you
    • 1 out of 4 guys on the planet are smaller than you, but --- as you are at just inside the break point for the 2 Quartile, it is safe to assume that almost (not all, but almost) 3 out of 4 guys equal or are bigger than you.
    • You might be on the lower end of the distribution, but to be at the HIGHEST end of the middle distribution is only a difference of 9/10 of one inch.
    • Me? I am at the very very far LEFT of this graph....something like 99.8% of the worlds men have a bigger weenie than I was blessed with...
      which is why I refer to it as a clit.
    "....studies did find a consistent link between penis size and height." Which has two implications for me --- first, I am barely 5 feet tall (explains that little weenie) and secondly, its why I (and most women) are attracted to tall men!

    I would say "very small" is in the First Quartile (up to 4.7"), "small" is in 2Q up to 5.1", medium in 3Q goes up to just under 5.6", and it goes up from there to porn-size baseball bats that only 1 in every 50 or more guys has...yet watching porn would make you think "everybody but me" has a schlong that big. It ain't so.
    • [​IMG]
    To convert cm to inches, it is 1cm = 0.393 inches (Google has automatic conversion, just type in "cm to inches conversion" and it pops up!)
     
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  11. ...:emoji_mask::emoji_eggplant:
     
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  12. @LouBee thank you for providing this research and a level-headed assessment of penis size. :)

    Not sure where I said that I have 4.75 inches. I used to measure about that long but, maybe in part due to occasional use of a chastity device, I have measured consistently at 4.5 inches (11.4 cm) and never more than that, sometimes closer to 4.25 / 11cm.

    I have believed mine to be small, but by your assessment, I’m on the upper end of “very small”.

    Also, I had previously seen studies putting me in the bottom 5th percentile (out of 20 men, I would likely be the smallest) but this study has me closer to the 10th percentile. :cool:

    Thus, if I have sex with a woman who has been with 20 men … chances are I’d only be the second smallest she’s been with! :)

    it’s a harsh reality sometimes knowing that, especially as a man who is 6’ tall, that chance are, I’m usually the shortest guy in the room and when I’m with a woman probably one of the smallest men that she’s ever been with.
     
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  13. Found this as well.
    Am I the only person wishing for a teeny-weenie? (BTW, I just LOVE the reply!!! LOL)
    [​IMG]
     
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  14. I can see why you’d wish for that.

    Personally, I love having a short one. Almost big enough to measure up to the other guys, but not quite. Sometimes I wish it were just a little smaller - so that I’d get get more attention :)D) from women.

    almost relapsed today to an old porn image I discovered recently on my computer - not even nude, but a really sexy young woman teasing the viewer about being a virgin. I’m not a virgin - not even close, yet photos like that and the fantasy of getting teased by hot girls makes me wish I was! :rolleyes:
     
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  15. Definitely time for a check in . . .
    I've had a rough month. Thought I saw light at the end of the tunnel, but some of my troubles are not getting resolved and more misfortune has piled on top. (I could REALLY use some good fortune right now!!)

    Today I put my foot in my mouth. Feel like there is something wrong with me . . . like I will never fit in. I'm just not like other people, never have been - but today I felt like it's not okay to be me. :(

    My latest misfortune resulted in my needing to take even more time off of work . . . and I ended up eating at a place where lots of really fit people go to eat. Everyone was really attractive . . . there were two Maserati's in the parking lot . . . and some really gorgeous women!!

    I used to be pretty fit myself. Below 15% body fat and moderate muscle development. I loved the way my fit body looked . . . even with a small penis! Or, maybe even better!

    I'm not totally out of shape right now, but headed in that direction. I used to like to look at myself in the mirror, now I don't. I decided to face myself this evening after work and . . . was really struck by how tiny my penis is. I have a man's body but . . . especially since I had it recently waxed . . . it really looks like a baby dick. :oops:
    My balls are pretty small at the moment and my flaccid penis an inch long at most. Just an immature looking little nub.

    Damn it!! I really need to get back to the gym. Those are my people and I need to rejoin them!

    And maybe this time around, I shouldn't avoid the showers. I always rationalised that its easier, more sanitary and more comfortable to shower at home. But maybe if I use the showers more, I'll be much more motivated to get into shape and it'll force me to "bear my shame". In my perfect world, there'd be a place I can go where everyone knows that I have a small penis. Maybe some will bully me a little, maybe some will tease me but at least I can be true to myself and not feel like an imposter.
    :)
     
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  16. {Ananta}

    {Ananta} Fapstronaut

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    i have a question for you, it has nothing to do with penis length, but after having sex ,do you feel depressed.Like the next day or few days after, as for me, i notice i get really depressed after sex the next day or few days later. i feel like dying i dont know why, it use to occur with my past relations also, im just wondering if theres anyone else who experiences a deep depression even thou the mate is a great person.My logical thinking brain tells me , biologically this is normal as the depression is meant to push one to better himself, to push him self for the better,
     
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  17. Maybe a little depressed after sex. what I find is that I’m more easily irritated with my partner, more judgmental, and sometimes more attracted to other women.

    I think it’s a biological drive to seek out other sexual partners. (You had sex with this one, now increase your reproductive success by having sex with someone else).
    I highly recommend Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow by Marnia Robinson.
    Our genes don’t care about our happiness, only about passing on the genetic code.
     
  18. Started a new book today (audio) and was triggered in the very first minute! :eek:
    It simply opened up with a woman feeling humiliated as her husband openly flirts with a sexy woman at a restaurant … I can relate to her so well, and the shame she must feel as I too have had girlfriends openly and obviously flirt with other men in public.

    I’m 99% sure that this woman’s husband will cheat on her with a sexier woman, just as I have experienced. Should I avoid the book, or face my demons (and reality?) and read on?
     
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  19. {Ananta}

    {Ananta} Fapstronaut

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    id attempt to read it an if it brings things to the surface then just note it down on these threads
     
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  20. So far doing okay with the book.
    The woman’s friend is unbelievably sexy and the husband doesn’t like or trust her much but he’s also extremely distracted by her sex appeal. It’s a double whammy - I relate to him being powerless to resist her sex appeal … but it also seems inevitable that they are going to have sex and I relate to the wife in feeling helpless and powerless as well - she’s pretty and talented but just can’t compare to this sex goddess … just like I can’t compare to a sex god with a much bigger penis. :oops:

    It’s challenging to experience the arousal I get from this … so I’m taking the book slowly. Not sure how I’ll hold up when they actually have sex (and when the wife finds out).
     
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