Small Pen*s Club - (males, females and non-binary welcome)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by +TenPercent, Feb 3, 2021.

  1. Oh, honey....me too! Guys w BDE always show off, but in a subtle way usually....it is just obvious what they are packing and they know that YOU know they are packing.
    I see a lot of that...men are proud of being big, and if you make eye contact then crotch contact they take the bait and want to play all sorts of games. I do not think I have ever encountered a hung guys who is embarrassed ....quite the contrary, I have had them take my hand and place it right where it matters and they just smile. Hard to take the hand away!!
    ...can vouch for this....
    ....this too...
     
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  2. It matters. To some it matters a little, to some it matters a lot. But, it matters.
    I've probably heard "size doesn't matter" a thousand times. Yet . . . 40% of women will have at least one sexual affair outside of their primary relationship and 10% of children born in America were not sired by the man listed on the birth certificate. I have been told that mine is too small and women have confided in me that they had sex with certain guys "because he has a big dick". This study shows that women prefer men of average girth and 6.3 to 6.4" in length. Whether the average erect penis is 6", 5.5" or 5.1" (depending on the study), this study makes it clear that most women prefer a penis that is larger than average . . . nice and big, but not huge.

    A lot of men on this site have also pointed out the fact that the average woman's vagina is only 3" deep. There's some truth in that, but when a woman is aroused, the vagina will become about 6" deep. How can anyone fill that with less than 6 inches?? :rolleyes:

    And then there is the "A" spot. While most women rarely experience orgasm from penetrative sex, many do achieve orgasm from the sensation of the penis head pounding against their cervix. This is called the A-spot and a man needs to have at least six inches to "hit the spot". A larger penis would be able to achieve this in a variety of positions. Some women (an estimated 15 to 20%) will experience this A-spot orgasm and subsequently find sex with smaller men unsatisfactory. Such women are often called "size queens". On the flip side, some women (about 15%) have a very sensitive cervix and find the A-spot sensation uncomfortable or even painful. In that case, they might be inclined to say that a penis can be too big.

    I think it's safe to say that size really does matter. It just matters more to some women than others.

    And clearly I have done a lot of research into this matter!:rolleyes:
     
  3. Agree. This is true.
    I think it is also true (because I have said this to smaller guys) that women tend to be more sensitive to a guys feelings, so she is not about to tell you "size matters" when there is clearly nothing you can do about it. The response will be "Size does not matter; its how you use it." That is true and yet...if you have a bigger thingie and also "know how to use it" all the better. Harsh, but true.
    So no, you will not hear it from her directly, in the moment, unless she is a mean and uncaring woman....but most of us actually prefer it larger, with the hoped-for ability to know how to wield the thing with purpose!
    I am a "size queen" no doubt, but also recognize there are so many ways lovemaking can be wildly spectacular....so, in the moment, size by itself is NOT the determining factor. It has been said, and I agree, that the brain (imagination) is the most important sex organ....so a creative, fun, passionate, energetic love maker with an average thingie can be way way more satisfying than some unimaginative hunk with a big schlong and no ability to personally connect. Gymnastics without emotional connection is boring and uninspiring.
     
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  4. Good news is I got to at least six inches but the bad news is the longer my penis grows the more it looks smaller when it is flaccid. So it is getting really hard for me to tell the exact size anymore.
     
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  5. But then again what difference does it make if you have had a past like mine? On most days I feel like most people would despise me. Heck on a lot of days I despise myself for my past. But I really shouldn't get too hung up on that, I need to move on with my life.
     
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  6. I’ve been doing pretty well, busy with life and generally staying away from lust and fantasies. But then I got triggered while out shopping. Feel like a pretty / sexy woman, especially on a warm day, can just derail me! :eek:

    Almost slipped with masturbation. Had the dumb idea to measure my fully erect penis and … 4 1/4 inches (maybe 4.3). Facing the reality of how short my penis is, especially for a tall man, just triggers me even more!

    Its like I feel so inadequate for being small, and so frustrated by how captivated I feel by sexy women, that I just want to give up, masturbate, and accept my weakness. :oops:
     
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  7. {Ananta}

    {Ananta} Fapstronaut

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    have you tried the coital aligment technique, check the images on google or youtube, you want to stimulate more the enterance an the roof connecting to the enterance of the vagina when in missionary, the clitoris , its mostly body rubbing ,ask the female to not maturbate for a week at least so she can be completely be sensitive,i can always be a pal an check if it matters about the length but i highly beleive it dont matter, missionary is 5 star positon,
     
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  8. Ahh. I think you might be referring to the G-spot (Gräfenberg spot) which, according to Wiki is 5-8 cm up the vagina wall, closest to the belly button. This would be within reach of my 11 cm penis as long as I could achieve full penetration.
    (Although … since the head of the penis is relatively soft during erection and full penetration is complicated, it might be the case that my short penis just barely reaches the G-spot without going past it and causing sufficient stimulation)

    I have never in my life given a woman an orgasm from PIV alone, but I can tell that women really enjoy my oral sex skills and the initial penetration of PIV.
     
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  9. What have you done that is so despicable?
     
  10. The struggle is REAL!
    Just put on my chastity device . . . Finally!!

    A bit ashamed to admit that I need it so badly, but its the only thing stopping me from masturbating. :oops:

    I was doing really well. Got triggered a few days ago.
    by getting my boy parts waxed. I've done this many times, but this time it felt like the girl was taking tape to my scrotum OVER and OVER. In fact, pretty sure that's exactly what she did. Usually they rip the hairs out once and move onto the next spot, but she was hitting the same spots 4 or 5 times. When we were all done, my scrotum was RED! :eek:
    A little pink is normal, but I'm talking angry red :mad:
    And . . . if you need more proof, dear reader . . . my scrotum is peeling today!! :eek:
    She literally burned by ball sack!

    Obviously, that experience was excruciating. But right after that I saw a few really sexy women and the combination left me aching for release. (maybe my scrotum won't hurt so much if I release the pressure?)

    It's like a snowball effect. I survive each day by not masturbating, but the pressure continues to build and build. And the weathers getting warmer which means I'm seeing a lot of skin and sexy outfits.

    Somehow made it through the work day and the ride home without masturbating (it wasn't easy), and all but ran to put on my device.

    I'm super grateful for the device (I wish I had one that I could wear all the time during times like this!) and for this support group. :)
     
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  11. Made it through the past week. So, there's a win there, but really struggling as I head into the weekend.

    Sometimes I just really feel like I need to hear someone say - "You have a small dick" and "4 1/2 inches is really short". I guess I'm just craving validation. :rolleyes:

    I have a ruler. I can measure and read statistics. More than that, I can't help noticing the bulges in other men's pants! :eek:

    It's pretty obvious that most guys are packing a lot more than I am. Even when I try to find pants that are more "flattering" it still looks almost flat. Maybe I should be one of those guys who stuffs a gym sock into their briefs. But that reminds me of a girl who wore falsies in college. Everyone made fun of her behind her back. She was super cute and looked great! And I wouldn't have been able to tell by looking at her. I guess the risk of packing my briefs is that people would notice and then the gossip would really fly if I got caught without my padding.

    Or maybe everyone already knows? My non-bulge is pretty hard to hide.
     
  12. Round Three

    Round Three New Fapstronaut

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    My penis is around 4.5 inches when erect. I didn’t think about my size until I started going to the gym before work. It quickly became apparent that most guys are more well-endowed than me. It isn’t that much below the “average” length and, with my body type, it seems appropriate. I’m a smaller guy with a smaller penis. I understand your insecurity, but I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
     
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  13. Thank you. I really appreciate your sharing of your experience and perspective, especially as a guy with a similar sized penis. (Mine is 4 1/3” as of my last few measurements).

    I agree. Proportionality is a consideration. Oddly, I feel like I have seen more short guys with big dicks and more tall guys with little ones. Being six feet tall myself, and having big feet - it seems a little off that my penis is shorter than average.

    I’ve had a few women tell me that mine is small and a few ex-girlfriends say that it is too small. This always causes me to reflect on all the times that I “hooked up” with a woman but didn’t go all the way. Was it because my penis was too small?

    try not to think about it. But it’s hard not to, when I’m always noticing the bulges in guys pants and knowing that my “twig and berries” barely even make a bulge. Or seeing dudes in the locker room. Or when girls make jokes about penis size. Or when hot girls seem to treat me like I’m not a real man …

    Sometimes I do well for weeks, but often there are triggers and then I fee confused, especially with the whole “size doesn’t matter” mantra.
     
  14. Well, my accountability friends … after a year and three months without porn … I looked at porn last night.

    Oops :oops:

    I watched one 5 minute sph video. Didn’t masturbate. Went to bed, slept well. Feel pretty good today.

    I almost wonder if I just needed that - a beautiful woman to give it to me straight.

    also, I’m keenly aware of the risk. I video today could turn into an hour the next day and three hours the next! :rolleyes:
     
  15. Updated my counter. Had 454 days without porn! :cool:

    I have not looked at any porn since. Also haven't masturbated and am up to 19 days without masturbation or orgasm. No sexual release, yet I feel okay. Still pondering how that POV SPH video really seemed to fill a need within me. Not sure what to do about that . . .

    Not super tempted to act out. Yet, there's part of me that feels inclined to just indulge, and over-indulge in more porn. Why not? Well - maybe because I would feel like shit after? Or, maybe because the last time I looked at porn in April 2020, I couldn't get off of the porn until January 2021!

    So many dear friends have left NoFap. But then new people come along. Thank you all for your support as I stumble and flounder through my recovery. :)
     
  16. Two more days without masturbating (Day 21 now) and without looking at porn. Though the urges are strong.

    Thoughts on having orgasms, or not, when having sex (been discussing this with @Dioplleo_547 in PM):

    Especially knowing that I have a small penis, my goal has always been to give my partner an orgasm before having one myself. I know from experience that after I orgasm, I run out of steam really quick and knowing that I don't give much pleasure while having intercourse (I see this as something that she does for me, rather than me doing it for her) I aim to give my partner an orgasm with oral before we start PIV.
    If we start having PIV right away, I will often stop once the urge to cum in unbearable, give her oral until she has an orgasm and then just call it good (no orgasm for me).
    And, since I do struggle with Premature Ejaculation, if I do cum during PIV without having given her an orgasm first
    then I will give her oral after until she orgasms, even though that means I'll be licking up some of my own sperm

    What do you think is best? Is it better to just blow your load and not worry about your partner? Is it better to last a long time and not cum?

    My ideal would be some form of semen retention / karezza. I would like to give my partner pleasure and to be able to make love for ten to twenty minutes but then stopping without having an orgasm, saving my semen and sexual energy. It's like a tantric version of edging, though I find it releases pent-up sexual energy without losing semen.

    I know it's possible because I have done it! :cool:
    It happened after going nearly a year in hard mode . . . and then getting a girlfriend.
    We even talked about this when we first started dating and I was like "YES! I have found someone who will let me NOT CUM during sex!"
    But soon, she started complaining that it didn't feel right for her. She was embarrassed to have orgasms with me (and "lose control") while I held back. I caved, reverting back to what I described at the beginning - using oral to give her orgasms and struggling with PE rather than being a master retainer of my seed. :oops:
     
  17. Today was a rough day at work. Just rough. And I got super triggered by a sexy woman in a very short skirt who kept doing sexy poses for selfies and photos with her friends. I swore, at any moment, her tight little skirt was going to slide up half an inch further and reveal everything. I was totally captivated by her and … she knew it. I could see it in her eyes. She knew that she had totally power over me with her dripping sexuality.
    I swear that women can just sense that I’m a gooner and a beta male, despite my outward appearance :oops:

    I’ve had a few women tell me that they could tell I have a small penis. One even told me that most women can sense this and a few female friends said they weren’t surprised to hear that I have a little dick.

    My ex girlfriend was a stripper and she said she could spot the subs and the beta males as soon as they walked in the door! Even though she was more attracted to the alpha males, she would usually focus on the submissive guys because they were easier to control (and get to tip) :rolleyes:.
     
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  18. On the plus side, I got a PM from @LouBee today and it really lifted my spirits. :)
    I’m so proud of her and it’s great to hear how well she’s doing.

    And she’s helping me to get a better understanding of my little package, my gender identity (male, but not quite) and the compulsion I feel to let this “secret” about myself out … because it’s a reflection of who I am.
    It feels so incredibly validating to have someone say “Yes, that is small. And it definitely says something about you, having a small one like that, but it doesn’t make you less of a person, or more of a person, just different.”

    These are things that I know, deep down. Like, I’d make a sweet boyfriend, and maybe even a doting, orally skilled lover but just not the kind of guy that women want to get pounded by. And that’s totally okay! It’s just super nice to hear that from someone else. :)
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2022
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  19. SlayerofDarkness

    SlayerofDarkness Fapstronaut

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  20. You’re in!
    Post here about your struggles, your challenges and your successes!

    Ask questions if you have any and feel free to respond to any topics that come up. :)
     

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