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Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by +TenPercent, Feb 3, 2021.
I feel I am cursed with having a small penis it triggers sph and ABDL for me
When, a sperm cell connects with an egg . . . then yes, fertilisation happens almost instantly.
But, there is a long time between ejaculation and the sperm cells making it to the egg. Every ejaculation contains millions of sperm cells and yet . . . even when a woman is ovulating . . . conception does not always occur. Most of the sperm cells are ejected by the vagina, the ones that remain must get from the vaginal wall, past the cervix and up the fallopian tube to the egg and more than 99.99% of the sperm cells will never make it. A longer penis certainly has an advantage by depositing sperm closer to the cervix and even more of an advantage if it, through pumping action, removes the sperm of another man.
It drives me nuts sometimes knowing that my penis, try as it might, is much less likely to get a woman pregnant.
And, it gives me much more anxiety about a partner being unfaithful. A man with a large penis does not need to worry so much, but if I had an unfaithful partner who got pregnant, chances are the father would be the other guy if he had a larger penis
I get that. I totally get it.
It's like a snowball effect. When ever I get aroused, even if for totally regular reasons, I see (or even feel) how small it is when it is fully erect and that totally triggers feelings of sexual inferiority and desires for SPH.
I understand these feelings completely. As a gay man, I have experienced guys not wanting to have sex with me because I wasn't at least 8 inches. I'm average sized at 6 but I still had quite a few guys tell me no thanks. It's too small.
Doesn't feel good but it did bring up desires for SPH for me as well.
I can imagine how that might be the case in the gay community, especially with such a strong focus on the male body and with men being more direct.
Only one girlfriend told me directly that my 4 1/2 inches was too small. But, once I measured and started to really get how my penis is small, I started to reflect on the number of one night stands that never turned into a second night, or the times when I fooled around with girls and didn't get past third base.
Women seemed to be groomed to never tell a man that he is too small or to say that size matters. It's almost like how boys are raised not to kick other guys in the nuts, even if it is a truly effective way to win a fight.
Once, in a human sexuality class with adult women, one woman said that "size doesn't matter" and all the women seemed to agree with their "yeah"s and "uh-huh"'s . . . but then a funny thing happened. One woman clarified the ubiquitous statement and said, "Well, what we should probably say is that size doesn't matter . . . as long as the guy is at least average." And, at that moment, all the women uttered their agreement with the revised statement with twice the gusto as the first time!
Why do we crave SPH in response to these harsh realities? I think it's because it feels more congruous. Hearing "size doesn't matter" makes us feel neurotic when our experience suggests otherwise.
I wonder if penis size is really equated to aggression and whatnot. I'm not big but can be very aggressive and assertive in bed. I usually am the top.
I don't know why I crave the SPH. It's so strange but I do want it.
So weird but it is what it is.
This isn't scientific or anything. I don't know if a bigger penis leads to more dominance, but I think it has a reciprocal effect on women. They are more willing to take a submissive role with a guy with a big, virile penis. That's my experience anyway.
Well, I can't speak for women, or anyone but myself . . but now that you've brought it up, I do find myself feeling less respect for men if I see or hear that they have a small penis (even though I have a small one myself) and I do feel submissive to a really large penis. It might just be a primal response. Follow the best warrior. Follow the tallest guy with the big muscles and the commanding presence.
I'm not kidding. I'm try not to check out other guys at the gym but if I see a little package, the man loses a bit of status, and vice versa if I see a guy with a really big one. Average sized dicks have no net effect.
Lastly, I think that when we are submissive towards someone, it naturally brings out their dominance. We adjust. A great leader who has fallen will submit to the new leader. It's not much different with alpha females.
I am grateful that we can discuss this here.
I imagine that, for you, it must be really hard to have larger than average sized penis and yet be told by other men that it is too small.
According to nearly every study, 6" is above average. I'm not surprised that you are inclined to top and be more assertive and I wouldn't be surprised if you have higher than average testosterone as well. Yet . . . the men in your community are size queens (or kings) and insist on having something even bigger. I can see how that would make you neurotic and crave SPH. Rejection hurts. SPH helps us to come to peace with what we inwardly suspect (that we are not big enough) and gives us the high of getting attention from a desirable person that is focused on our penis.
There is such a thing as micropenis, and I have been checked for that, but I can not imagine what it would be like to have a penis that is 2 or 3 inches while erect. For most of my 20's and 30's I had about 5 inches. It is incredibly frustrating to have everything working right, and to be taller than average and yet, not matter how aroused I get, my penis is always shorter than most. And, it was still more frustrating to know that mine was a shorter than average, but to hear over and over again that "size doesn't matter". Such words of comfort only made me feel more neurotic because my experience suggested otherwise. After being cuckold several times and having my girlfriend tell me that she could never be satisfied with me again and seeing her, how incredibly satisfied she looked, the morning after having been with a much larger guy . . . really made it click into place for me.
There is far too much SPH material out there about "the size of my pinky" or "the size of a pencil eraser" or having to use tweezers, etc that I think it just messes us up even more. If that is what constitutes small, then what about those of us with legitimate smaller than average penises? I have found one porn star who says things like
Spoiler: Trigger Warning
Oh my God, really? Five inches? That is sooo little!!
and I got caught searching endlessly for more SPH like that!
I just want to hear the truth! There is such a disconnect between "Size doesn't Matter" and the reality of what we experience that we crave SPH as a way to find peace with our insecurity.
Remember pal! That porn star is getting paid for saying so. Those are all paid stuffs happening there. From moaning to orgasm, everything is fake.
It is hard because I would look online and it would say that I had an average sized penis but in reality, everyone wants huge virile donkey dongs! I don't have that so I was rejected a lot. One guy told me once that it was small but it's okay. Like he had sex with me out of pity.
On the other hand, as a gay man, dealing with these big ones is not really that fun, for me at least. I've always liked the small ones but never like, sought them out for SPH for them or anything. It's more fun and easier for me at least. I never made them feel bad about it.
I'm glad that you pointed this out because there really are people who prefer smaller ones, just like there are people who prefer women with smaller breasts. In fact,
Spoiler: Trigger Warning
I actually had one woman ask me to have anal sex with her for her first time because she knew that I had a small penis!
Maybe, as a top, you're inclined towards a less endowed man to confirm that power dynamic. Similarly, I imagine that some female tops might prefer a less endowed partner for similar reasons (i.e. a woman that wants to be in control might not feel that as much with a well endowed man).
This is where I envy women, at least in respect to the size of their boobs. It is commonly assumed that most men prefer big breasts, but my own preferences and observations suggest that there's a large minority that prefers small ones. Women don't have to worry about getting into the sack with someone only to have them exclaim, "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that your boobs are so small (or so big) . . . this just won't work for me". Yes, some women wear falsies and others strap their boobs down, but they all have the opportunity to flaunt what they have and not get stuck with this neurotic fear of what will happen when a prospective lover sees them naked for the first time.
Yeah for me it's more about that I can give oral better on a small penis. Like I can really give them the business! I like to make them feel good.
I think all men (gay or straight) like breasts. I know I do! Not in a sexual way but I think they are beautiful! Big or small!
I think this is normal behavior. It's normal for one man to feel submissive to a guy with the better physical attributes -- height, muscles, age, whatever. It can be to a guy with higher status, hotter wife/gf, etc. But a lot of times, it probably starts from the physical dominance. And when I realize another guy is being deferential to me, I naturally am more dom toward him.
I see this in the gym too. Guys who I know are lacking down below or whatever physical attribute, who are working so hard to build up muscles. It's all an attempt to compensate. "Little man syndrome." But no matter how hard they try, they can't change the basic lack they have.
I have a small penis at 5 inches when I masturbait. It's normally 7 inches.
I don't follow what you are saying here. Is it longer when you don't masturbate?
Yeah it's longer when I don't masturbate.
For a long time, I was convinced that my penis was so short because I masturbated so much.
Partly because of my method (putting more emphasis on the downstroke, rather than tugging on it) and partly, I wondered, if maybe it was so small because it was hiding from me!!
5.75 here, and 6 on a good day. I have the same thoughts and concerns that you guys wrote. I guess I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm big but yeah I have had bad experiences too.