Small Pen*s Club - (males, females and non-binary welcome)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by +TenPercent, Feb 3, 2021.

  1. Yes, that is certainly one aspect of it. Perhaps some guys get aroused by seeing a big penis because they see so many in porn and, even though they were originally searching for images of women, they now associate seeing a big penis with the arousal they get from porn. :rolleyes:

    I think this might be a good time for me to put forward my treatise on human mating:

    In general, guys are genetically programmed to mate with as many women as possible, yes? Regardless of how we might feel about it, it's simple biology and evolution. More mating means more offspring and they are therefore more reproductively successful. Their DNA has been passed on to the next generation.

    However, men are also programmed to fall in love and stay with women. Most men have fallen in love at some time. This might also yield reproductive success. By staying with one woman, they might have a better chance of successfully raising one or more children to adulthood.

    Some men choose the strategy of sleeping with as many women as possible. Others choose monogamy. And, some might choose a mixed strategy . . . but we all feel at least some pull in both directions.

    Culture, society and peer pressure obviously play a HUGE role in the choices that we make. And, so does our desirability to the opposite sex. And, so does our ability to physically overpower potential rivals. A really strong man might go after many women and worry little about upsetting their boyfriends. And, a really good looking man might try to sleep with many women, but might be more careful about getting caught. A guy who does not have much luck with women might put forward his fidelity as an attribute to try to secure a woman who will mate with him. And, for some men, even raising one or two children of another man might be worth it if he can ensure that his wife will bear him at least one offspring.

    Now, women are also wired for promiscuity and monogamy. It's definitely more complicated for them, especially as they are going to be raising their offspring and will want to have a man to help them, especially during the first few years. Monogamy makes a lot of sense for most women (as they will successfully rear offspring), while unbridled promiscuity does not (as they will have offspring, but will have a hard time finding support). The best strategy for most women is a mixed strategy.

    Women are most attracted to monogamous type males (provider, husband material, beta male, nice guy, etc.) during most phases of their menstrual cycle, but they are most attracted to the promiscuous type males (lover, stud, alpha male, bad boy, etc.) when they are ovulating. Despite strong cultural pressure to be monogamous, studies have found that 40% of women have at least one sexual liaison outside of marriage and that 10% of children born are not the genetic offspring of the man listed on their birth certificate. Typically a woman who does end up cuckolding her husband will make love to him on a regular basis and then have a "one-night stand" right as she's ovulating and she'll often make love to her husband within 24 hours of the encounter. The routine sex leaves the husband feeling secure that his wife is faithful. Furthermore, the woman often feels assured that the child is of her husband when she conceives because the affair "only happened that one time".

    If a woman does manage to cuckold her husband, she will have greater reproductive success. The faithful cuckold will help ensure that all of her offspring are raised to adulthood and yet her genes are more likely to succeed because she benefits from having diversity (multiple fathers). One might take it a step further to suggest that her offspring will do better because they will benefit from the superior genetics of her lover.

    Why do women moan when they have sex? To let other males know that they are ovulating and looking to reproduce.
    Why do men tend to stay quiet? Because they don't want other men to mate with their partner.
    Why is there a head on the shaft of the penis? It is to function like a plunger . . . removing semen from the walls of the vagina which was deposited by another man.

    And, why is a bigger penis superior to a small one? A longer penis will deposit semen closer to the cervix and out of reach of a small penis . . . all while more effectively removing the semen from the smaller penis.

    This hits the nail on the head!!

    Typically we see each other in a flaccid state . . . and the only way for a small guy to "measure up" to a larger guy is to get an erection.

    Similarly, if a small guy suspects that his girlfriend or wife has been unfaithful, it's a primal response to get aroused. If he can make love with his girlfriend right away, this would enable him to at least deposit some of his own semen and possibly remove some of his competitor.
    And, being small, he might get extremely aroused because he needs to be as erect as possible in order to increase his rather slim odds of success.

    Agreed. It's absolutely humiliating to get an erection when seeing a guy with a bigger dick . . . especially if there are women around!! :eek:

    One would think that my biggest fear when skinny dipping or going to a nude beach would be that everyone would see how small I am. But, to be completely honest here, my biggest fear is getting an erection!

    Then people will wonder why I'm getting an erection. They'll think I'm a pervert.

    And, they will see how small it really is. :oops:
    Once you have an erection, you can't hide behind excuses like "Oh, it's just really cold" or "I'm a grower, not a shower".
     
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  2. Hard Mode

    Hard Mode Fapstronaut

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    @+TenPercent,

    I really appreciate how open and honest you are about your problems and shortcomings. I think it will help quite a few people in this group! I think a lot of bros (both Hung and small) are afraid of admitting that size actually does matter.

    For me, what triggered my interest in these power dynamics between males, was when I spent a few weeks in jail. I had been arrested for something I had nothing to do with, and it took me 3 weeks to raise bail and get out. Being an inmate was a real wakeup call for me. I was suddenly in a world of no privacy, and where men constantly dominated each other.

    I was in a big unit with 64 inmates in bunk beds, open showers, toilet stalls without doors, and the lights on 24/7. The total lack of privacy became a forced NoFap situation where most of us had blue balls, and everyone knew the size of everyone's dick. Strip searches were daily and thorough, and mostly performed in hallways where you would stand naked with your hands cuffed behind your back while waiting your turn to be inspected.

    Two things decided status in the jail: muscles and dick size. I was slim, but at least Hung.

    As a Hung inmate, I got some respect from other inmates, but not from the Guards. Most Guards actually seemed to treat Hung inmates harsher (especially during strip searches when our large penises were exposed) in some weird way of trying to put us in our place.

    Small-dicked men with non-muscular bodies often had a more humble approach when interacting with other inmates. It was natural to all of us.

    Interestingly, most of the erections that I saw in the shower and during strip searches where on small dudes. It was rare to see a Hung Man get fully erect in front of a Guard, but quite common to witness a small guy get reprimanded for not controlling himself while the Guard handled him.

    Hearing you share your experience as a small-dicked bro, I can better understand why this happened and what went through these small dudes' heads.

    Thanks, man!
     
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  3. @Hard Mode - Oh, man, I'm really sorry that you had to experience that. It sounds really awful!
    And I am glad to hear that you were only there for three weeks and not longer.

    I spent one night in jail once and it was the most de-humanizing thing that I have ever experienced . . . though I did get to keep my clothes on.

    When I first read your account, it reminded me of my time in bootcamp. I'm not sure if I got a hard on in the 2+ months that I was there!
    And, I can't recall seeing anyone else get an erection.
    Some say that they put something in the water or in the food that destroys libido.
    Or, it could simply be that we were so incredibly sleep deprived that whole time that our bodies had no energy left over for sexual activity (though there were rumours of guys fooling around with some of the women in bootcamp).
    In the showers we were all naked. I saw dicks of all sizes. And while the little guys might be more inclined to hide what they were (or weren't) packing . . . I never saw a lot of staring and didn't see anyone else get hard. Maybe they did . . . but I was doing my best not to look. (Perhaps I was afraid of how my body might react if I saw a nice big one, or maybe worse afraid of someone else seeing me staring at dicks in the shower. :rolleyes:

    *Trigger Warning*
    I hope this isn't triggering for anyone who reads this, nor do I want you to worry that you triggered me (as I am sure it wasn't your intent), but I dreamt last night about being in prison just like you described.

    The thought of being strip searched in front of other people and of being afraid of getting reprimanded for getting an erection, all while I am naked and being touched by people, filled me with such anxiety and such intense arousal that, in my dream, I quickly found myself ejaculating! :eek:

    Then I woke up, full of arousal and unable to get that thought out of my mind. I often think that I have some uncanny ability to wake up just before a wet dream occurs and that otherwise the dream might have been a wet one.

    Given my recent experiences, I can't help but wonder - would I be one of those guys who got an erection while being strip searched? Would I have been so fearful and anxious during such a degrading experience that I would end up ejaculating?

    Hopefully I never find out!
     
  4. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    No, because it would be humiliating to him, and if he has any respect for himself he will ignore such a stupid question or decline it politely. Just because he has a smaller than average cock, it shouldn’t make him any less of a man, and any girl worth his respect will know this.

    I disagree with the crude, primitive philosophy that if you have a big cock you’ve immediately innately got better genes than someone with a smaller one. Such ‘might makes right’ shit is worthy only of simplistic cavemen. We have advanced far beyond that in technology, so we should also advance beyond that in society. A guy who has a big cock but uses it purely to pleasure his wife and have children with her has good genes, I’m not debating that, but if you use it to seduce and steal other men’s wives and partners that makes you a beta, far more so than someone with a smaller dick who lives as honourable and respectful life as the first big-dicked guy. Only a beta male would actively step on someone to get what he wants, as he feels that he lacks the confidence to get what he wants on his own, by his own merit and without cheating by stealing someone else’s girl. In this way bad boys are just as much beta males as the ‘nice guys’. It’s your personality that is a measure of your real manhood. Maintain respect for both yourself and others, and you’ll win through eventually, because that’s the true alpha mindset. Just keep doing your best and being the best man you can be.

    As humans we all have higher thinking and a conscience for a reason - to know when to avoid succumbing to instinct and act in the name of a greater good, and I personally believe a person with greater conscience has far better genes than one who has none whatsoever, and it’s only the former that deserves to reproduce. We all have the power to make choices in our life, and we all have the capability of refraining from leading promiscuous lives in favour of building something far more substantial and far more rewarding. Any guy or girl who fails to do this is weak and undisciplined, and any offspring born from them will carry on their weak genes. What’s more, for as long as humanity continues to behave this way, it will remain the mad, flawed species it always has been, and only by stopping such behaviours completely can it ever have a hope of getting out of the mess it’s currently in. We alone have the power to advance beyond simple evolution and make society fairer for everyone, so why waste that gift when we can use it to our full potential?

    @+TenPercent You’re free to make your own decision about how you want to view the world, of course, but as long as you keep the callous beliefs you’ve developed in your mind, and allow bigger-dicked guys to rattle your confidence, you’re always going to lose out against them. Instead, focus on displaying your best attributes at all times and don’t let any wankers put you down. Not all those other guys will have your good attributes, and indeed if they have very few good attributes other than big dicks then you’re already superior to them. If a girl’s worth your love she’ll like you even with your small package - there are sex positions that make it more enjoyable when the guy has a small one, that would be painful with bigger guys, not to mention you can pleasure girls in ways other than dick-in-pussy, and if she truly loves you she’ll be content with that. If she treats you like shit, on the other hand, just because of something you can’t change without risking serious injury, you’re better off without her. Being single for a while longer is far better than being humiliated.

    Don’t let your flaws define you, and definitely don’t let them stop you achieving what you want.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2021
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  5. Hard Mode

    Hard Mode Fapstronaut

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    I think both @ChangePMO and @Vanquisher12 are making good points.

    @+TenPercent should never feel lesser than anyone else just because he has a very small penis. But I also think it would be healthy for him to admit to himself and others that he admires and respects men who are hung large. It's in his nature, and the faster he can adjust his mindset to that, the easier his recovery from porn and masturbation will be. +TenPercent is a small dude and suffers from penis-envy. Nothing to be ashamed of. It's one of the most natural feelings in the world.
     
  6. Hmm . . .
    When I see a man with a really large penis - do I feel envy? Am I awe struck? Do I respect him more for having a really big dick?

    I am definitely awe struck. It's hard not to notice a really big dick!
    But, I think I envy and respect the penis itself, rather than envying and respecting the bearer of the penis. I guess the thought does cross my mind - "what would it be like to have a big penis like that" or, "oh, maybe that explains why he is dating that really hot chick".
    So, yes, I might envy the guy some. But, it doesn't mean that I want his life or would with to trade place with him . . . I'd just like to experience having a really big dick like that.
    And, I can't say that I have ever found myself respecting a guy more just because he has a big dick.

    But, I can truly say that the opposite is true. Any time that someone has ever told me that another guy has a small dick . . . I immediately lose respect for him. Multiple times in my life, I have had people share such information and it's always spread in a derisive way and the person divulging this information is clearly amused and thrilled to share such information.

    Even though I have a small penis myself, I will immediately lose some respect for another man if I find out that he has a small penis. Go figure. :rolleyes:
     
  7. RiverBlue

    RiverBlue Fapstronaut

    Makes a certain amount of sense to me. Certainly men and a lot of women admire a big penis. But the big penis doesn't necessarily have a huge advantage over a normal size one. Either one will work for the purposes a penis is needed. A big penis or a normal penis can both give pleasure -- whether or not is more a factor of the man wielding it than anything else. So I can understand a little guy focusing on the big penis itself. And the measure of the man not being his dick, but how he acts.

    But a little dick is clearly not as functional as a normal or big dick. It's must not. It takes a lot of effort for a guy to please anyone with an small one, if can do it at all. Even for the most basic function -- conveying sperm deep enough into the vagina to ensure fertilization -- the little dick is inadequate. No matter what the little guy does, he's just never going to get it done like a normal guy. Any woman he's with is settling in some fashion. And the little guy has got to know it. He just can't do the job.
     
  8. BrokenHeart 2

    BrokenHeart 2 Fapstronaut

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    Yes I have known him in real life! Although I have seen some men that come close or may even be bigger in pictures but I just don't know if they are real are not.
     
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  9. Hard Mode

    Hard Mode Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, @RiverBlue, for telling the harsh truths. @+TenPercent needs to hear them!

    Whatever we feel or wish, the truth is a very small penis has a lot of real and practical disadvantages. +tenpercent must understand and admit this, or he will never be at peace with his size.
     
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  10. BrokenHeart 2

    BrokenHeart 2 Fapstronaut

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    I do have a question for smaller men. I've been wondering this for a while. I am a smaller woman and I guess I'm considered tight or so I've been told by men. No children! So I am asking if you have been with a woman maybe fitting that description is it maybe hard for any woman to please you? Though I can orgasm from small and large men and receive pleasure from both ...a larger man maybe doesn't require as much grip or so as the smaller man from a woman to feel it. I'm just wondering your thoughts on this. Not an excuse but maybe they enjoy masturbating so much because they won't feel the woman as much as a larger man? I say this also because two very well endowed men have told me they don't masturbate at all. They brought it up not me. They even seem repulsed by the idea and strongly against it.
     
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  11. @BrokenHeart 2 What a great question!
    Honestly, I kind of enjoy making love with a loose or more experienced woman. There’s something exciting about being with a woman knowing that she has been with larger / other men. There’s a thrill like “oh, I get to experience this, too” even though I might not feel as much.
    (Hopefully that’s not TMI or triggering for anyone).

    But, why do us smaller guys masturbate so much??
    I think it is lack of confidence - we imagine having sex with a woman … and then masturbate instead of actually trying to find a woman to have sex with.

    Also, I have a theory that our penises are more sensitive … kind of like a clitoris. We have the same amount of nerve endings as larger men, but in a more compact unit. Maybe this is why masturbation is so hard for us to resist?
     
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  12. BrokenHeart 2

    BrokenHeart 2 Fapstronaut

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    I wonder which one of our theories is correct lol
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  13. Perhaps they all are.

    maybe the reason I think I like loose women is that they all feel loose to me with my small penis! :D

    and, I had one girlfriend who would answer the phone if it rang during sex. Maybe she wasn’t feeling me that much either …
     
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  14. True. At least for most women, anything less than average is settling. A small penis is not very arousing to look at (or perhaps even a turn-off for some women) and certainly a woman will feel less "filled", less pleasure as she won't feel him as much or as deep.
    And, I think @BrokenHeart 2 is onto something. A guy with a small penis like mine is likely to over-indulge in masturbation and perhaps more attracted to porn as well. It might not be a deal breaker, but a woman should be wary of a man with a small penis, especially for a long term partner, and he should have other fine qualities in order to be considered for a mate.
    Agreed. And the small guy must first admit this to himself and ensure that he puts in that extra effort. Also, a woman who does settle for a guy with a small penis should expect more from him. I have heard some women say that "small guys try harder" . . . as they should. Oral, in particular, should be in every small man's repertoire.

    More harsh truths . . . which I am grateful for. Hearing such things help me to live in reality. Sugar-coating things and statements like "size doesn't matter" aren't very helpful when experience shows us something different.
    Years ago, when my girlfriend had sex with a much, much larger man reality hit me like a slap in the face. The way she was glowing when I saw her the next day, I could see that she had literally just had the best sex in her life! That man gave her more sexual pleasure in one night than I had give her in two years. :oops:
    Then, she told me that she had also recently had sex with two other men, also hung large and told me flat out that I was the smallest man she'd ever been with and that, after being with them, she could never be sexually satisfied with me anymore. :(
    How did I respond to that??
    I masturbated!
    Hurt though I was, I couldn't not picture her being pleased by those men and I masturbated 5 times that day! And, even the next day, I compulsively masturbated again . . . at work! :eek:

    It's not the same coming from another man, but if a woman tells me that I am too small, or teases me about it, or hints at it . . . or if I somehow just feel small around a beautiful woman, I get this feeling
    like I am about to cum in my pants.
    At that moment, getting that relief is paramount and I will compulsively masturbate. I can usually hold off long enough to get to a bathroom or something in order to masturbate. . . but not always. That's hard to admit, but it's literally like kryptonite for me and I am powerless over the arousal that I feel when a woman teases me for being too small.

    My last relapse with masturbation and many of my relapses over the last few years of NoFap have been a result of such triggering interactions with women.

    That said, I maintain that it's important for me to hear the harsh truth so that I can "accept the things I cannot change" and adjust accordingly.

    Agreed. In many ways I have admitted this to myself for a long time. But dialogue with other people, men and women, helps me to understand it better. A big thank you to all who have helped me by participating in this thread! :)
     
  15. Hard Mode

    Hard Mode Fapstronaut

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    @+TenPercent, I'm glad you are not taking any offense to my comments. I mean no harm, bro. Just trying to help you be true to yourself and lead an honest life. As a Hung Man I've known since my early teens the power that comes with having a large penis. And the corresponding lack of power that comes with being very small. It's cruel, but facing these facts make it better for all of us.
     
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  16. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    How tragic that she would choose a bad boy beta with a larger package than a respectable man with a normal one, but the fact she’s chosen that self-damaging mindset means it’s her loss, not yours, and same with all your other female friends - if they’re willing to leave a man just because they don’t have an above-average package, they aren’t worth your love. A true alpha knows when to move on from a relationship that isn’t giving him what he wants (i.e. a safe, stable, sane, loyal, kind and loving partner).

    Again, if a woman does cheat on you for a bigger guy, move on, she isn’t worth your love or commitment if she isn’t willing to respect you for who you are. What’s more, as I’ve been telling @+TenPercent don’t let bigger guys shake your confidence, if one is dissing you just because you’re smaller than him, or trying to steal your girl, he’s not worth your respect, and is in fact proving himself to be inferior to you - only beta males step on others to get what they want, because they lack the confidence in themselves to get what they want via their own merits. If you allow yourself to worry about other men and compare yourself to them, the bigger guys will sense this and become more confident, and your girl will too, making her more likely to leave you. However as long as you ignore what other people say and do and remain confident in your own attractiveness, your girl will love you and other guys worth your time will respect you.

    The right girl will love you for all of you - for your personality, the way you look, your interests and your penis size, and she won’t choose a bigger guy over you because they won’t have your great personality or your passion for your interests. Just be the best version of yourself and display your most attractive characteristics as often as possible whenever you’re around others, and eventually you’ll meet girls who get on naturally well with you and want to be with you because they click with you.

    I understand just how you feel mate, I’m 22 and have never been in a relationship with a girl but am waiting to do so once lockdown ends, and I did have the same anxieties you do, but I have learned to not be worried about such matters and just focus on being the best man I can be and doing everything I want to do. You can too :)
     
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  17. It's pretty good right now! :)
    But . . . that probably has a lot to do with being older. At my age (and when dating women close to my age) sex is less of a priority. Most women my age are just looking for a good decent dependable and faithful person. I have a lot to offer now - maturity, success, good looks. And . . . breaking free from porn addiction has helped me to appreciate women for what they have to offer (besides sex) and to be more interested in having a partnership with a really good woman (rather than wanting to have sex with all the sexy women I see out there).

    However . . . when I was younger it was a mess. :(
    I would go for years at a time without sex. A few women even told me that they could just sense when a guy has a small penis.
    I dated a lot of women. I would wonder if it was because of my penis if they would lose interest after a one night stand. Or, if we started fooling around and never made it to home base - was it because they were turned off when they saw my little penis?

    When I am with a girl one of the hard facts of having a penis as small as mine is not the thought that one of her ex-boyfriends might have been bigger than me, rather it's the awareness that possibly all her past boyfriends were bigger than me! :eek:
    Many other thoughts would haunt me as well, like:
    • Why does every girlfriend insist on my wearing condoms when they even told me they didn't use protection with their ex-boyfriend?
    • Why would some girls not do certain sex acts with me even though they told me they had done them with their previous boyfriend?
    • Why does my girlfriend try to get me to do certain positions that are really hard for me, because mine is too short and keeps falling out? Where did she learn that??

    Yes. I have been cheated on.
    And I have had women tell me that it is too small.
    One of my first girlfriends only let me have sex with her twice in a year and a half, and never gave me oral, though she would let me do that to her on a regular basis.
    And I had one girlfriend who
    just pushed my head between her legs when she first saw my penis and never let me have sex with her.

    I envy the open dialogue that you have with your female friends!
    And I think every woman has a right to decide what's important to her.
    Have you asked them what qualifies as too small? What about a really great guy with an average sized penis?
    Have you told them how big you are? Maybe they said this to you because they think you're pretty big . . . Or, if they say that you are not quite big enough for their preference, then at least everyone knows and there's no secrets. They are your friends, after all, and good friends are precious. It might be better to keep them as close friends than to try to date one of them and mess everything up.
    Are you attracted to these women?

    That is sad to hear. No one deserves that. :(
    Maybe a guy who is kind of arrogant or a bit of a jerk, but not abusive.

    Its a sad truth, but there are women who are attracted to abusive men (and men who are attracted to abusive women) and it usually has something to do with low self esteem and past trauma. :(

    As we have seen, there are lots of decent guys, or even really great, confident men out there who sport a nice large cock as well. I hope your friend never finds herself in that situation and holds out for a better man.
     
  18. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    Not even arrogant or jerky men, all bad boys are beta males. Any respectable, sane and stable woman looking for a mutually-beneficial long-term relationship will know this and avoid them, because they’re all mouth and no trousers.

    It’s always due to either of those, or emotional immaturity or lack of intelligence on the woman’s part. With the two reasons you mentioned it’s due to the misattribution of arousal, where the woman misinterprets the fear she feels when confronted by a bad boy as arousal, because the two share the same hormone, adrenaline.
     
  19. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    You should consider yourself lucky that you’ve still got plenty of time to free yourself from PMO, get into dating and find the right girl for you. I’m a bit older (22) but I’ve still got a few years to get my act together and look for someone before the deadline of 30-ish.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  20. I don't think you're going to have a lot of trouble with the ladies if you are giving off big dick vibes (I have been told that I give off small penis vibes) and if you're bold enough to share dic pics with your female friends - that means you're not afraid for women to see what you are packing. And, you shouldn't be afraid with a dick that is 5.7 to 6.2 inches long.

    I think the best way for women to judge penis size is to see one in real life, or to have something to compare it to. A photo works pretty well, especially if there is something in the pic for a scale reference. I think that sometimes when women say 7 or 8 inches, they might really be referring to 6 inches. Women often don't judge measurements as well as men and most aren't in the habit of measuring penises the way that we might be inclined to measure our own. ;)

    I wonder how your friends would respond to a penis that is my size . . . (mine is average thickness, but only 4.5 inches long when fully erect) :oops:

    I've only really told one of my female friends about how small mine is. She's very attractive and it took me years before I worked up the courage to tell her. Also, I told my therapist (also a very attractive woman). Both times I expected a strong response - maybe shock, or laughter, but they were pretty non-plussed about it. Honestly, I think it came as no surprise.
     

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