Small Penis Syndrome, Body Dysmorphia, and related insecurities and issues

I was referring to myself cheating.

And I should probably clarify that I very much suffer from the mental condition; "small penis syndrome". Which is ironic because my physical size is nearly perfect. Not even average or large - literally perfect. According to the chart on some website where you can pay to have it rated.

The problem is the drawer full of expensive, time consuming, and dangerous products that I felt compelled to use in order to get it that way. The exercises that ARE masturbation, no matter how much I kid myself. The fact that I have re-purposed every ruler in the house, the freaking existence of sites where you can pay to have it rated, other sites where gay men drool over me...

 

Thanks, that's why I joined this site and created this board

The good news for my personal story is that I've already made a lot of progress. I've talked to my wife about it, I go to confession. Taken down all photos, blocked sites, put women on ignore. I never actually paid to have it rated- but I know of multiple sites offering that service.

Men do need someone to talk to about these things, but if you aren't careful who you talk to you open yourself up to a lot of misunderstanding and potential abuse. Hopefully we can keep this a safe and productive space for men to discuss these issues.

 

Reminder: please believe others about their size. It is whatever they say it is.

Small penis syndrome is a mental condition that can impact men of ANY physical size.

 

Sit ups are actually one of the worst exercises you can do- they put pressure on your back which leads to injuries. Fat is not burned locally- any exercise and diet which creates a calorie deficit will reduce stomach fat. Leg work tends to burn the most calories.

More importantly, as long as you are not overweight there is no health benefit to a six pack. Dad bods are in.

Have you tried acupressure?

Brushing and flossing before and after bed is a great habit. But I've had dozens of cavities over the last couple of years anyways

Good call not taking measurements. You aren't the only above average guy here; half of men are below average, half are above. Everyone is susceptible to insecurities. If you want to share your size that is cool, if not, that is cool too. It is nobody else's business which group you fall in.

 

Gold star, mate!

Lots of people just don't get this. On less wholesome forums I've seen people argue for over a hundred pages with a guy who says he has a micropenis. In spite of the fact that he has contemplated suicide. I never want to see that happen here.

 

Thank you for the comment. It isn't my intention for this thread to be exclusively or even primarily about me and my sample-size-of-one experience. Other men with size insecurities may be concerned their significant others will cheat on them.

But to answer your question, no, that is not what I meant;

First and foremost, I was refering to myself cheating, not my wife. My wife is wonderful and supportive and I really couldn't ever imagine her cheating for any reason. Even if she did, I'm not sure it would bother me all that much. It's just not something I worry about.

Second, the type of cheating I had in mind was more along the lines of breaking my NoFap goals, rather than having an affair. Masturbating out of a desire to measure an erection or as part of a PE exercise, viewing "big dick" porn, camming to fish for compliments*, etc. I'm not sure if there is any research backing this up, but I can attest that my size insecurities have led me to do this things.

As far as traditional affairs go; I am worried my insecurities may lead to one, but this is speculative. I'm not aware of any research on whether or not men with size insecurities are any more or less likely to have affairs, and it hasn't happened to me.

I'm trying to look at this logically because I don't want to spread misinformation to others or encourage my own delusions.

*Extremely problematic in its own right. But not technically the same thing as a full-blown affair.

 

Thank you for the comment. And I'm glad you have picked up some confidence. I'm going to help you get a little more:

I agree with you on some important points, and there are some places where I would ask you to change your message.

Here's my observations:

I would ask you please not to say this to anyone about their penis: Why, because in this context, this is a form of questioning the other person's self-identified size. And this is rule number one- never challenge that. With one exception I will explain shortly, I've never observed a man responding positively to someone calling their size into question in either direction. Have you?

Men who claim to be small want to believed. Men who claim to have a micropenis want to be believed. Men who claim they are 20 inches long want to be believed. Even if its the same guy who claimed he had a micropenis yesterday. Everybody likes to be believed. And, that's good because nobody likes seeing anyone else's proof.

If you are saying you are on the larger side with more girth. I believe you.

I happen to say I'm perfect- I worked really hard to get that way.

And that's the exception: someone who is presently having sex with you can call your size into question and it's usually okay. As long as she (or he) is enthusiastically consenting, they can say you are small and you will enjoy it. They can say you have a micropenis and you will enjoy it. They can say you are 20 inches long and it's ugly and you will enjoy it.

But a lot of straight men make the common mistake of extrapolating that to women who are NOT presently having sex with you. Why give them that power over you? Many women claim size doesn't matter; some women even claim they prefer average or small; I say their opinion doesn't matter. Not unless we are presently in a sexual relationship.

If your last partner is your current partner, I'm glad she prefers your size. If you have broken up it doesn't matter what she thought. It might hamper your next relationship.

Here we are in agreement. By definition, all insecurities are purely psychological. And most penis problems are just insecurities.

These things I would also ask you not to say: For one thing, I'm not complaining, I'm rather content at the moment. But if I were not, I think that it should be acceptable to complain. If someone isn't happy let them say they aren't happy. Criticizing or making fun of someone for recognizing their emotions is worse than criticizing or making fun of someone for their actual size. I certainly hope that nobody who is unhappy simply accepts the conditions that make them unhappy. It takes some effort to change your thought patterns, but it can be done.