Smashing my computer didn’t help

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by boyrose, Mar 12, 2019.

  1. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    I smashed my computer hoping that would eliminate all temptation but of course it didn’t. I just found another computer. I do believe destroying my computer will work when I move out, but the problem is I still live at home so while my computer is gone, I just found myself on my parents computer. Granted I don’t look at porn on their computer, but instead I go to the next best thing and go on youtube which aint to far away from porn anyway.

    For the last 6 months or so I’ve been bouncing back and forth with nofap. And while in a way it feels like I’m back to square one (as I just relapsed/binged this weekend) that isn’t the entire truth.

    I have started and been able to keep some new good habits over these last 6 months.

    I ONLY TAKE COLD SHOWERS, I QUIT DRINKING ALL POP/COFFEE AND CAFFEINATED BEVERAGES COLD TURKEY AND I READ AT LEAST ONE BOOK A WEEK.

    So while I’m definitely struggling with porn and masturbation, at least it’s not a total loss with the examples I gave above. But why is it that some people have kicked this pmo and I can’t seem to get a solid grip on it.

    No matter. I’m not quitting. But let’s pretend will power doesn’t exist. What steps am i not doing which is causing me to fail with pmo? Maybe it’s meditation. Several people have said get into mediation but I’ve never taken it serious.
     
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  2. Timeforachange90

    Timeforachange90 Fapstronaut

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    Try and identify your triggers. Presume when the house is quiet and your alone? Maybe write down what was going on the last few times you gave in? Where you were, who was around, what you were avoiding in your mind. Things like that. I know I always had a habit to go straight on when the house was empty, so now I try and change the routine. If I know my family are going out I make a plan to go somewhere else, meet someone or go for a swim/jog or something similar. A lot of it can be routine and changing that routine can help, especially if you make arrangements with others - you're less likely to give in and cancel to fap.
     
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  3. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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  4. Timeforachange90

    Timeforachange90 Fapstronaut

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    You’ll welcome - and good luck! Keep positive and keep posting - it helps!
     
  5. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    The issue is that you still want porn, and youre succumbing to the 'forbidden fruit' problem. You gotta figure out why you want porn and make it clear in your head that you dont really want it. You relapse to escape the withdrawals and out of fear, not because you enjoy porn. Porn is the enemy, not your friend.

    You gotta start today right now. No more peeks. Make sure you change your opinion of porn. Good luck.
     
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  6. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Hey rosy, find a new addiction, a good addiction. For example, I'm addicted to making money, and am almost a millionaire at 19. I was in your position once upon a time.
     
    boyrose likes this.
  7. Never Again

    Never Again Fapstronaut

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    Well if you had another computer in which you could use freely and alone, of course it won’t work. You should ask your parents to restrict your access from that computer. Completely restricting your ability to watch porn i(perhaps obviously) the best way to rid yourself of this addiction.
     
  8. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    During the workweek really isn’t hard to stay clean; because I’m keeping busy at work and when I come home from work I’m tired and in a way don’t have the energy to look at porn and jerk off. The problem for me is the weekend. I have all this free time. So I suppose before the weekend gets here I gotta have it loaded pretty good with things and activities to keep me busy. A lazy weekend is definitely a trigger.
     
  9. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    Hit the gym
    Cook healthy food
    With the rest of the time socialise/watch TV/ play games.
     
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  10. chiyu

    chiyu Fapstronaut

    Smashed your computer? Well I give you style points for that one lol. In all honesty, though, I can totally relate to the feeling. Look, the problem isn't your computer. It's just a doorway to the real problem, which is your desire to seek out P so you can have that next PMO session. Although it's helpful to set up an environment that is less conducive to temptations, that alone is never enough to prevent us if we're not committed. I know this for sure, as I personally could bypass all my P-blockers within about 1-minute flat if I was determined to seek out more P. Smash all my electronics, and within a day I'm sure I'd be back in business if I really wanted it.

    I don't mean to sound all philosophical or preachy, but in my opinion the only true fix is to do the inner work which allows us to overcome our negative patterns. At some point, after all the lost time, energy, broken relationships, physical/emotional symptoms that come with long-term addiction, etc. ... we just have to make a deep decision that we just don't want P in our life anymore, that on balance, it's just not worth the cost. In some ways, making a serious commitment to change like this is actually easier than being in that awful limbo area, caught between fap/nofap, in conflict with ourselves all the time.

    Knowing deep down that all that PMO is just pointless self-destructive behavior, allows us to let it go, and reach towards more positive pursuits in our lives. Discovering what those things are, is part of the challenge - we have to "fill in" the hole that P leaves when we're not looking at it, with other actions that we find meaningful. That can be anything that clicks with you, perhaps your career, or creative expression, or athletic challenges, or personal/spiritual development, or social change, or learning a new subject, or joining a book club, or volunteering somewhere, or seeking out a healthy romantic relationship, whatever - it doesn't matter as long as it's fulfilling to you and gets you away from that learned default behavior that is the PMO cycle.
     
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  11. tytusspulo

    tytusspulo Fapstronaut

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    I agree with Chiyu, seriously need to step outside yourself and look at the behavior. Does it help anything? Is it good? The answer is no. Nothing good comes from PMO. At least for me, I found that it is a beast that cannot be controlled. It's either off the leash or it's in a cage but there are no walks through the park with PORN. It will eventually take you over and dominate you. Do you want to be a slave or not? I do not. I'm trying. I hope to make it past 8 dam days for once.
     
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  12. justafriend

    justafriend Fapstronaut

    This is an excellent thread. Thanks to OP for starting and everyone who replied.
     
  13. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    Willpower does exist, but it needs to get fueled with a strong "WHY". Your personal "Why" will decide whether you will be successful or not.
    My "why" for example is that i never want to lie next to a girl and can't get it up because of my skewed vision of sexuality due to porn. I love having sex and i am willing to trade this every day of the week.
    And it has been 8 months since i last had sex. I know ill find beautiful girl in the future and i want to be ready for it.
    Sex with the right girl who you also have a connection with is just plain amazing and i rather suffer now then having to worry later.

    The more i do nofap, the more i feel attracted to the girls around me and want to sleep with them.

    You must have a strong "why" that pushes you through it.

    A simple "i am just going to do it because i think it might help me" is probably not going to be enough.
    The stronger your own "why", the more likely it is that you will succeed.

    Find your Why.
     
  14. tytusspulo

    tytusspulo Fapstronaut

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    My why is to be a human being not revolving around sex or orgasm period. My life for the last 20 years was surrounding that. Like
    It was the most important thing. Sex, or porn or getting off. I come to believer that energy could have been spent in so many better ways. What a waste of my time. That’s how I see it now. Time wasted that I can’t get back. Only secure the future time in meaningful ways. Who would say on their death bed “I wish I jacked off to more porn in my life”? Time for change. Let’s do this!
     
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  15. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Appreciate the response. It was very helpful and full of good points. I’m doing nofap because I know from experience that it works; but that’s not good enough. I need a specific concrete reason why I’m doing this. You’ve given me something to think about. Thanks. Gotta figure out the why.
     
  16. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Thanks buddy. Very informative. You’re definitely right about limbo. For the last 6 months or so it’s been: 5-12 days success with no pmo, and then relapse/binge; just repeating that short streak of success followed by relapse/binge over and over. Need to get some traction and just make a run with this. I guess the good news is that even though I’ve been relapsing a tone I always eventually come back to nofap in a relatively short period of a couple days. So that’s good. There’s a part of me somewhere that knows nofap is important and worth succeeding at; if I didn’t believe that I wouldn’t constantly come right back to it after a relapse.

    Thanks for the support everyone, you guys are very much a main part of what keeps me trying again and again.
     
  17. scarecrow1

    scarecrow1 Fapstronaut

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    If you use your parents computer and are limited to YouTube then at least the hardest content is blocked. The hard core stuff is taken down.

    That within itself is progress.

    Ask your parents help. Ask them to set a password on their computer.

    If you don’t want to admit that you have a porn addiction then say you have a Facebook addiction and want to set time aside to read and prepare for exams.

    Otherwise you will fail.

    I 100% guarantee it.
     
  18. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    The issue really is that you still believe you enjoy it. Once you remove this illusion that it is actually not enjoyable at all, it will be easy. I realised this after countless streaks and going the extra mile to remove technology. It just makes things worse. Its the 'forbidden fruit' problem.
     

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