So are most girls in relationships on birth control?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by legendsneverdie, Jun 29, 2019.

  1. legendsneverdie

    legendsneverdie Fapstronaut

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    Hi i am trying to educate myself on sex and pregnancy and std and birth control so i don’t make mistakes in the future

    I see everywhere couples, not necessarily husband and wife, but bf and gf having sex frequently. So all these people having sex.. i don’t see hardly any women pregnant. So how are they achieving this.

    In porn videos they almost never use condom (i remember some time ago people arguing that porn videos should require condom since people replicate what they see in porn). I don’t watch porn anymore btw

    So do most people in real life always use condom? Are most girls on birth control. Doesn’t birth control whack your hormones and have side effects? How much pleasure is taken away by using a condom compared to unprotected sex
     
  2. Wow you really have a lot of questions today. That's a great thing to be thinking ahead!!

    There isn't a "most people" really for protected sex and what they do...it's up to individuals. There are ALOT of things a female can use to avoid pregnancy including birth control which up hormones and even their cycles. There are implants and other things we can use.

    Guys have 2 options and that's condom or vasectomy.

    From my husband's words: some pleasure is taken away with condoms yes. But he's had a vasectomy and there's a bunch of new and improved styles on the market now that we didn't have options for before his vasectomy.

    Educate yourself more and more, it's great to know that you are really taking these issues seriously! Have a great day!
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  3. legendsneverdie

    legendsneverdie Fapstronaut

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    haha hey thanks! Waitttt if your husband had a vasectomy, then he is sterile now and can’t make you pregnant anymore. I guess you guys decided no more kids?

    Have a great day yourself
     
  4. de severn

    de severn Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    This isn’t something I would suggest if you’re not seriously committed to someone you’re having sex with but I never use any type of contraception with my boyfriend. I just *know* when I’m impregnable and when I’m not.
     
  5. fadedfidelity

    fadedfidelity Fapstronaut

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  6. legendsneverdie

    legendsneverdie Fapstronaut

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    How do you know? And so you only have sex during that time when you know you’re impregnable
     
  7. fadedfidelity

    fadedfidelity Fapstronaut

    I am going to school ya, young man. You are going to learn more about female fertility than most women themselves even know! For the women, like myself, who had to "work" at getting pregnant and dealt with fertility issues, we know all about this and more. Unfortunately, the school system and most mothers haven't passed down vital information to girls and boys on how the female body works. It's sad and pathetic really that all energy is focused on promoting male sexuality and fertility and at the same time shaming girls to avoid sex, controlling female fertility, and knowing nothing about how her body works.

    1.) Women have cycles every month (give or take) and they have "tells" on when they are ovulating and are reaching their fertile peak.
    2.) They can take their temperature every morning before waking and use charts to graph the temps looking for a particular jump in body temperature.
    3.) Once the temperature spikes, then she has already ovulated. She is fertile days prior to this temperature spike, so it is really a guestimate on when she typically ovulates.
    4.) She can also observe her cervical mucous (consistency, texture, etc.), and watch for "eggwhite" looking mucous (thick, super stretchy, and clear). When she starts to see that type of mucous then she is fertile or reaching ovulation. (Sperm can live in that environment for up to 5 days!)
    5.) There are also devices she can use to test her saliva and her urine to check fertile patterns.
    6.) Also, she can check internally and feel her cervix opening. When the cervix is most fertile, it is high, soft, and more open. When her period is about to start it is low, hard, and more closed.
    7.) These same hormones that make our bodies release eggs and have our uteruses more receptive to hold a fetus also make us "horny". So, she typically thinks about sex more and is in the mood and flirty and affectionate the most during pre-ovulatory phase. Women (typically) lose interest in sex after ovulation has already occurred due to hormones changing from "make an egg and get sperm to it!" aka Follicle Stimulating Hormone to "set up baby camp in uterus" aka Progesterone. (Of course there are more hormones at play, but this simplifies my explanation.)

    **Some women can easily predict their fertile time because their cycles and hormones are very regular. For example, she might always ovulate on day 8 and get her period on day 27. Other women have irregular cycles and her period does not come at the same time always. Maybe one month she ovulates on day 10 and her period comes on day 28, the next month she ovulates on day 19 and her period starts on day 35, the next month she has an anovulatory cycle (does not release an egg) and gets her period on day 26.

    Yes, our bodies are "complicated" compared to males, and that has kept some people away from learning more about female physiology and advancing our health care. Did you know that most medical studies use males and they just apply those findings to females even though our biology and physiology is different?
     
  8. We have 4 children and lost 4 so yes we decided we were done having children due to expenses as well as my overall health wasn't the best to continue to have more.
     
  9. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    A perfect, albeit unusual, use of the term. Put a smile on my face.
     
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  10. legendsneverdie

    legendsneverdie Fapstronaut

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    Oh so sorry to hear that. That must be so tough to lose them. Do you think excessive pmo use can contribute to miscarriage?

    And do you think the children you lost was a result of something you did during pregnancy like drinking alcohol or your husband pmo use or was it was just bad luck?

    I think in order for that to happen, something must have gone wrong. Some environmental cause
     
  11. I didn't drink or do drugs. And PMO has nothing physical to do with miscarriages.

    3 were from stress due to my husband and I having marital problems due to his PMO. The amount of emotional damage it causes on the addict's partner is tremendous.
     
  12. melonka

    melonka Fapstronaut

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    I'm so sorry to hear that. That's really awful.

    Me and my bf first half a year only with condom and than started without during my period, than only during and before ovulation with condom and so for 3 years and about half a year before we decided for child went only with pull out during and before ovulation. So in time when it wouldn't be bad to get a kid, just not perfect time.
     
  13. legendsneverdie

    legendsneverdie Fapstronaut

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    how do you know when you ovulated though? And you had sex during your period?? isn’t that kinda gross cuz there will be blood everywhere

    How effective are condoms and how effective is the pull out method in your opinion
     
  14. legendsneverdie

    legendsneverdie Fapstronaut

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    I know i’m so sorry. I read many of the stories from the SOs, and dam it sucks big time when the SOs aren’t doing anything wrong but still have to suffer because of their partners wrong doing.

    That’s one of the reasons why i promise i will stay on nofap. I need to get this issue out of my life now so it doesn’t bleed into my future relationships. i will never put my wife through all that and i am aware that the only thing waiting for me if i do pmo is broken relationships and suffering and pain and ruining not just my own life but the lives of others
     
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  15. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    I agree, women's bodies are very complicated and cycle just like @fadedfidelity said. However, and this is a big however, going by your body's cycle is not 100% reliable for birth control, or to get pregnant. This is a method most appropriate for couples in long term relationships, and those mature enough to pay such close attention to all the details of the female cycle.

    As stated in other posts, though, there are numerous methods to reduce the risk, and the rate is failure of pretty low for most of them. But the bottom line is, if you are having sex, you are taking a chance at pregnancy and STDs, regardless of the precautions. The only 100% way to NOT get pregnant is abstinence.

    .
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2019
  16. melonka

    melonka Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, it's gross and we don't do it now when we're living together, but if you see each other on 2 days every two weeks you care less. And some towel under covers it. I didn't trust that natural method at first and not sure about life span of sperm, so wanted to keep sperm so far away from ovulation as it can be.
    I've got pretty regular cycle for years. And it didn't move, like ever. It didn't even move on 5 days water fast. So I could count it pretty good, took 5-6 days before and two days after ovulation with condom. And the vagina fluid is different. I get easier horny and think more about sex when I'm near ovulation, I know it by the feelings. You also should be healthy. And we both have good noses, and my husband can smell it. I could easily smell if he masturbated. I don't recommend this methods to people because you have to really know your body and most people don't. Temperature is probably more reliable.
    Well pull out is more risky and he has to know his body well. And always urinating before sex, it is a bit safer. And I wouldn't do that if we wouldn't be sure we do want to have children together. It could be a bit bumpy but not bad if it didn't work. But it worked and the first shot after we decided for child worked also.
    You can look up on Wikipedia on the method and how safe it is. They always write down average use and perfect use.
     
    legendsneverdie likes this.
  17. legendsneverdie

    legendsneverdie Fapstronaut

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    @melonka you can smell when he M? LOL how is that even possible
     
  18. melonka

    melonka Fapstronaut

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    Give up on artificial smells for years and you smell a lot. I gave up on any Parfum, also in soaps, washing powder, deo, also in food, don't be around smokers. And you smell a lot. My husband when I got pregnant smelled me once and said: oh, that's amazing, you smell like women which are on the pill! Which makes sense since it tricks your body to think you're pregnant mostly.
    The smell after pm is sour, like youghurt. I can't smell alone m. Smell after sex is different.
     
    legendsneverdie likes this.
  19. de severn

    de severn Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    I’m fortunate to have predictable menstrual cycles. I also use an app that highlights my bleed/ovulation cycles on a monthly calendar so the “danger zone” is literally circled for me.

    I still have sex during the danger zone but he pulls out when he ejaculates. Doctors will tell you that the pull out method is risky so I wouldn’t recommend it if you don’t have a good support system to deal with an accidental pregnancy.

    As much as it sucks, condoms are what I recommend for first timers. I hate the concept of synthetic hormones (pills, intrauterine devices, injections, patches, etc) but millions of girls are on them and if you are okay with them, they lessen the chances of getting pregnant.
     
  20. legendsneverdie

    legendsneverdie Fapstronaut

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    okay thank you all, i learned a lot. I will try to remain pure so i don’t have to worry about all of these potential complications of pregnancy and std. i will also obviously remain on nofap

    I honestly feel so much better and cleaner and stronger when i’m in control of my sex drive rather than it controlling me

    peace out
     
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