So at what point did FUCKING YOUR OWN hand become "normal"?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by ultrafabber, Oct 27, 2018.

  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I've written about it a while ago, how masturbation is not normal at all ... but i just can't shake this feeling.. how are we even talking about HAND FUCKING being a thing in the first place?

    I'd have no problem of others walking in on me while I have actual sex. I'd have no problem of others walking in on me while i take a huge dump. I'd have no problem of others walking in on me while while i take a shower. I'd have no problem of others walking in on me while I get a rectal exam.

    Masturbation though? (or people knowing i'm sexually fantasizing; or drooling on pics of sexy women). I'd have a problem with that. I'd instinctively feel shame. I'd instinctively want to hide that. I'd instinctively feel sad if i walked in on someone doing it. Walking in on a HAND FUCKER.

    When i'm doing this (or sexually fantasizing) i feel i'm disrespecting myself and I am lame af. I can't think of any situation where i'd look up to a man who masturbates. It just feels off and sad. Can't get the real deal or don't have the discipline to wait and I indulge myself with crumbs under the table. Sitting in a room, by yourself, imagining you have sex with a woman while fucking your own hand or bed? It's just lame and pointless. I was watching others doing it and it just felt wrong and sick. I watched others with sex dolls or those artificial vaginas. That's extra weird, but not that much different than fucking your own hand.

    I'd even go as far as saying at least those poor souls fucking a sex doll are at the very least fucking something ELSE and something that is much closer to a woman than fucking your own hand while watching porn or using masturbation.
     
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  2. horny nerd

    horny nerd Fapstronaut

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    Yes the world is messed up. I remember hearing somewhere that in Ancient Egypt Pharaohs masturbated into the river for some crazy reason to have to do with their gods. The world has always been messed up it's just that today with all these forms of mass communication it is becoming more apparent or it feels like the world is getting more messed up.
     
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  3. Baldur

    Baldur Fapstronaut

    Well stated. Haha :D
    It is crazy as f*ck. Fucking one ones hand while watching somebody else fucking. Apes can do that and we as humans haven't
    evolved much from that. xD Oh, I somehow recall a guy in Pompei was found masturbating while the vulcano erupted. I don't know if that was fake or not, but knowing that the world is full of weird shit it is sounds reasonable. :D

    Cheers! Great topic!
    /Baldur
     
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  4. DucksInARow

    DucksInARow Fapstronaut

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    Chimps and apes do it too, so earliest humans probably did. Dogs dry hump things. But humans take masturbation to another level in terms of avoiding uncomfortable emotions in a compulsive way. The big myth is that everyone should do it, or that it's always healthy in moderation, or that you're weird if you don't - thats all B.S. The benefits of semen retention are not even mentioned in sex education lessons. Not that the average teacher could convey the more esoteric, subtle energy aspects of that.
     
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  5. Because it feels good
     
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  6. As someone who didn't masturbate until they were 22, I can state that one can live an 'adult' life without masturbation.

    I remember admitting to a female friend once that I didn't, and after her initial denial, she admitted that given how much of a freak I was (I was known on my campus residences as "Creepy Questionite"), it was possible. I'd argue that it wasn't all chav and sficca blossoms though; I was awkward, uptight, focused too much on my studies and only attracted the attention of women who were unattractive and damaged. I wonder how different my life would have been if I'd started whacking off at a normal age like younger men.

    Don't get me wrong - I had urges. I could pop a boner as much as any young man could, and had a pretty significant collection of dirty magazines (this was in an age before the internet was readily available). It just never occurred to me to stroke myself - I figured that if (not when, I had already learned my place by this point) I was involved with a woman, she'd take care of it. It didn't quite work out that way - I wasn't that attracted to my first girlfriend and she never made me climax. The second girlfriend was older, hotter, more patient and really determined to do something about it.

    People on here are so down on masturbation, but as someone who didn't do it until well into adulthood, my personal belief is that doing it occasionally can be healthy. Granted, I do have a pretty strong streak at this point, and don't actually see myself doing it again any time soon, but humanity as a species seems to have gotten along fairly well with people doing it. Consider it a personal choice; I'm not going to berate or look down on someone for doing it, just as I'd rather people not look down on me for not doing it (or having never done it).
     
  7. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    That's the thing though, monkeys very rarely do it and the ones doing it are either captive (so it's anything but natural) or low rank. Out of those very very rare situations, very very very very few do it to completion. As for dogs, again, we're talking domesticated animals (so not natural) and very very very few dogs actually dry hump things.

    Masturbation is incredibly rare in nature.

    Crystal meth feels good too. Doesn't explain why it's "normal".

    No, masturbation was not considered normal at all until Kinsey messed up with his "studies" on sexuality. It's still considered completely abnormal in many cultures. So people did not get fairly well with people doing it.

    It became "normal" in our western culture which follows american trends (kinsey, sex revolution etc). Read the link i referred to in first post.
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2018
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  8. Look, I get that you're frustrated with your struggles with this, but don't go casting your beliefs onto everyone. As I've observed elsewhere, PMO is part of the growing pains of our current societal change. We've spent centuries making everything sexual 'wrong', when at the the heart of it, sexual desire (or a lack of sexual desire) is natural.

    I steer clear of anything referenced on Reddit on general principle, but the basis of this poster's argument seems to be using logical arguments to find flaws in something people have (to some degree or another) always been doing. There were issues with Kinsey's research, but he is part of something that was sorely needed - making sexual desire being seen as healthy.

    Would you rather have hidden in shame with your PMO or been able to go through it, realise you had a problem, and confront it? Were we living in a pre-Kinsey, pre-sexual revolution world I'm pretty certain Powers That Be would want to shut this place down on principle.
     
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  9. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    No mate, i had beliefs casted on me. Even since adolescence i felt masturbation is wrong so I double checked on the internet and medical sites told me it's "normal and healthy". Masturbation is NOT sexual desire, masturbation is a perversion of sexual desire. Sexual desire is manifested with another person.

    That was my post. People have not always been doing this. This has always been a fringe thing and has always been frowned upon. Not just in Abrahamic religions but in most of the cultures. Just because some people did it and there were some references about it doesn't make it normal or common. There were huge issues with Kinsey's research, if you knew anything about statistics and sampling you'd stop defending him. Actually, you wouldn't even need to know statistics, it's pretty common sense kids as young as 1 yo are not orgasmic, 30% of the population is not homosexual and so on. And also, it's common sense you'd not trust a sexual deviant (Kinsey) with sexual research.

    I would rather have been told pmo is not healthy at all so i don't fuck up so much of my youth while not knowing what's wrong with me.

    Lol, if the ones before (the non-degenerates) were actually encouraging not masturbating. Ever heard of Kellog or others? What is abnormal with nofap is Alexander saying masturbation is normal.
     
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  10. DucksInARow

    DucksInARow Fapstronaut

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    There is obviously a middle ground in terms of societal attitudes (shame guilt judgement etc). By that I don't mean its necessarily healthy for everyone to masturbate in moderation, if we were a truly healthy society it would be quite rare in my opinion.
     
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  11. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I'm rather interested in figuring out what makes any degree of masturbation normal or healthy. You are literally fucking a hand while you're alone.
     
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  12. Xhiddy

    Xhiddy Fapstronaut
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    IMO, if you believe sex and the sexual experience for humans is merely biological or chemical then masturbation is of no consequence. However, I believe the opposite.
     
  13. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    There's different chemistry in sex and masturbation actually. I don't believe they're the same anyway, i was just wondering how come people think fucking your own hand is anything even close to normal behavior.
     
  14. Questionite, I agree with your take on this. I grew up in a sexually repressed household. When I was a pre-teen, I started "playing with myself" which eventually led to masturbation. This impulse was natural in me, not something that I "learned" from society. My religious upbringing led to all kinds of guilt/shame around masturbation, and sex in general. I'm still dealing with this. I think what @ultrafabber wants to do is "re-shame" masturbation. I can't agree with that, because shame is pathological and harmful, particularly something that is connected to your own body
     
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  15. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    But why would masturbation not be shameful in the first place? I was ashamed when i was first doing it even if I had absolutely no prior education or "talk" about it, nor did I receive and religious message about it or about sexuality in general.

    Your own body is made to have sex with another person, that's what sexuality is about.

    Just looking at masturbation objectively, you're just fucking your own hand. That's quite lame. And i'm saying this as a very proficient and experienced masturbator myself.
     
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  16. I don't know why it was shameful in the first place, could have been because it was something that felt really good that was done in secret, but I believe that shame about masturbation is worse than masturbation. The normalization of shame about masturbation is/was worse than masturbation itself. Human beings are intelligent creatures. We've figured out that masturbation, "fucking your own hand", is pleasurable, really pleasurable. It doesn't matter if it's just fucking your own hand, it feels really good! We've figured out that you can get that pleasure on your own, without needing to have sex with another person. Take away the shame, and there's not much downside to it at all. Anyways, I'm not trying to convince you not to masturbate, that's fine if you don't want to, I'm just trying to defend against re-shaming it generally
     
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  17. I was prepared to let this whole thing go, as it seemed there was little point in a reasoned discussion, but it seems I wasn't the only one.

    A heart and well-felt atheistic "Amen, Brother!" There are a lot of hang-ups about sexuality that our society is trying to deal with, and one of those is the blossoming and acceptance of sexuality as more than just 'man' and 'woman'. Growing up I don't recall a lot of religious shaming around sex and masturbation (raised Catholic... barely), but I do recall a lot cultural shaming around masturbation. Being a 'wanker' was universally a bad thing, which might have been one of the reasons why I never actually did it as a teen - I was a social outcast without the cool music and style, so being that and someone who had to pleasure themselves was probably a bit too much for me.

    What about people who are asexual, or identify as something other than the biologically-born gender, or have a sexual preference outside the norm?

    You may not like it. It may make you uncomfortable to think about. It won't make them go away or stop though.

    Looking at it objectively, masturbation provides a release of seminal fluids and serotonin to your body analogous to having coitus but when doesn't have a willing partner.

    To say nothing of the numerous other species that rub one out.

    You're uncomfortable with your own masturbation, and that's how you feel. Please don't go casting your values on others though, because it really only ends up hurting you in the end.

    "Sing it, Brother @SuperFurryThing!"
     
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  18. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Mental issues that can and should be attended. Can't say more as i'd get my post deleted again, as it has happened in the past.

    Again, that's quite a common error. Very few animals do.

    Please don't tell me that to do or if you chose to do so, do the same for the ones parading masturbation as normal. If you think fucking your own hand is normal, who am I to stop you anyway?
     
  19. Thanks never thought of it this way thanks for sharing to be transparent I have mastuebated humped pillow and even sneakers . This is something I have addressed in day 36 now not turning back.
     
  20. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I never thought of this way either, but it helps because it's the truth. Whether it's fucking your hand, fucking your pillow or fucking a pie or whatever, it's still completely abnormal.
     
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