So happy I found this.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by tawwab85, Jul 26, 2022.

  1. tawwab85

    tawwab85 Fapstronaut

    I’m embarking on the greatest and most important journey of my life. Yet, I can’t share it with my wife, my family, or my closest friends.

    Not because of shame— I got through that a long time ago. But because it’s just… not for them.

    I’m so happy to have finally found a place to be inspired and share my journey with people who understand. It’s helping me already. Thank you.
  2. desmond318

    desmond318 Fapstronaut

    This really resonated with me (and probably most of us here). Telling people around (in real world) is usually futile, not only because most people in this world don't have a deep understanding on this issue and cannot give you much useful advice, but some may even think you are too extreme (want to be a monk or so). I don't blame my family and friends though, as almost everything in today's society is sexualized. Most people are "brainwashed", thinking that such a phenomenon, as well as things like porn and masturbation, are totally normal.

    I am also thankful for coming across this forum, it is where I can talk about my addictions freely. People here are inspiring, and it gives me much energy to go on with my journey.

    I wish you a successful journey!
    ChrisJord, tawwab85 and bertieboy like this.
  3. FocusIsLove

    FocusIsLove Fapstronaut

    I'd suggest that you might reconsider your stance, at least as a hard line. The journey towards recovery is much easier if you have someone who can relate to you, is supportive, you can vent to, and can even challenge you when your thinking is off. I'm not saying to tell all of them, or even most. Just one or two that you can trust and will support you. If you have anyone at all that either has the same morals and ideas of sexual health, or even better if they are sober for a significant time, then they can be an absolute game changer. It really helps for someone to tell you that your not crazy for wanting to remove PMO from your life, and even more when they can talk some sense into you when you are stumbling back in.

    But I offer this just as something to consider. The road you will walk is your own. I wish that you prosper in it.
    tawwab85 likes this.
  4. bertieboy

    bertieboy Fapstronaut

    I feel exactly the same as you only I am single, but I couldn't tell anyone either, the first thing I noticed when I joined NoFap was that I was no longer alone and isolated with the problem and that I was amongst guys who understood exactly what is going on. Good luck with your journey
    tawwab85 likes this.
  5. bertieboy

    bertieboy Fapstronaut

    You are absolutely right in your observations of what is going on around us
    ChrisJord and tawwab85 like this.
  6. tawwab85

    tawwab85 Fapstronaut

    More thoughts on not telling friends and family:

    I don't have time to educate anyone. Trying to involve people who don't already get it, or even just people who sympathize but would rather not talk about it, is too great of a risk to my recovery.

    Doesn't mean I don't value them and want them in my life. It's just that I'm laser focused at this moment. Most of my friends and family have no idea I struggle with this (so I would be taking them basically from 0 knowledge to 100% AP all at once -- which is not fair to them). Or, they know and find it uncomfortable to talk about. Or, they just have other things they need to focus on in their own lives.

    I have to pull my own self out of the gutter on my own time frame, which happens to be right NOW. Not when "so-and-so" has the headspace to talk me through it. Not when I feel like I can trust "so-and-so" with such a sensitive matter. So, thank God there are websites like this.
    bertieboy and desmond318 like this.
  7. futuremd99

    futuremd99 Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap brother. May Allah help us all beat this addiction for good.
    tawwab85 likes this.
  8. ChrisJord

    ChrisJord Fapstronaut

    Here you will find others who understand your addiction like nobody else can. Find a buddy, use the messages, join a challenge, keep coming back.

    I'm ending day 17, the emotions have been a roller coaster from the dopamine withdrawal and reset, but it gets better, stay the course.
  9. bertieboy

    bertieboy Fapstronaut

    Also most people aren't counsellors or theapists and because they don't understand say things like 'just stop' which really is no help to an addict. What is coming from a place of concern can sometimes come across as nagging if they keep going on about it in away that seems to us to be a negative way. Or if you are trying to talk with them about it and they are preoccupied or distracted. However here we all know without having it explained what each of us is dealing with
    tawwab85 likes this.
  10. MarioCorrelos

    MarioCorrelos Fapstronaut

    The other day, right after completing one year without PM, I told two of my best friends about it. They were surprised, but they admired that I was doing it and understood my reasons. Sometimes, and with the right people, disclosing it might be a good reinforcement.
    futuremd99, desmond318 and bertieboy like this.
  11. Solcity77

    Solcity77 Fapstronaut

    Good luck mate. We are here to support each other. I see that you're a muslim because of your nickname. I'm in the same situation as you. May Allah (swt) make this journey easy for us.
    tawwab85 likes this.

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