So, i broke my longest streak (96 days), got some doubts.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ricky56, May 15, 2020.

  1. Ricky56

    Ricky56 Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone, not many here know me or at least read one of my topics but, recently i made one topic regarding my success from the 90day challange, and actually i did succed and wanted to go on for long but, i guess, things didnt go that way.

    I broke it, the first time 2 days ago and again today. Two days ago i was tired as fuck, after a long day in my farm, to do some work i couldnt do before, because of restrictions and after i came back in my house, i wanted to take a shower to relieve from some pain i had, i dont know how it started but i started to feeling a bit more hot than usual and, had some palpitations.

    Back then, when i used to work, at my cuisin' garage, when i came home , soo tired i used to M a bit, to relieve from stress, thats where my addiction became serious and i started to visit cams or actually do it by myself, and that was the only moments in the day when i felt relieved.

    I dont know if it was the only reason, or my mind actually wanted me to break the streak, to see what actually could change if , something could change, but thats it i cant circle around that, i did it, without the use of porn but, it does matters?
    I gotta admit that it worked for a bit, for 1 h or less, i felt relaxed and for the first time after a long time, i didnt feel ashamed or guilty, i mean, its not a sin, so why feel guilty? but later that night, i started to feel like i was having flu, headcache and my eyes were really tired, but yeah it could be after the long day at work, so i didnt care to much about it. Then , after dinner, i came straight to my bed, struggled a bit to fall asleep and, i woke up 3 times , during the night, without reasons apparently.
    Its useless to tell that yesterday i felt tired, the whole day, again, headcache and could barely keep my eyes open, couldnt concentrate to much on doing things even talkin was too much. That for a whole day but luckily i falled asleep a bit quicker this time and woke up just 1 time.

    I will shortly talk about today, today i was feeling a bit better than yesterday, still feeling tired actually but i felt again some energy, urges and ...well, i got an erection, Could barely concentrate,i was alone at my house and even if i was pretty sure that it was going to be wrong , after all the work, but again... it was like falling straight to the old habits without any efforts , like ( whatever, what a more fap can do)... i guess, i dont know... i may be wrong or partially right.

    Why i say that? because after this one, i started to feel like my urethra was burning , after going to pee and the pain actually did continue for 30 min. It could be prostatitis or cystitis but i leave that to the Urologist, because i know this pain
    This...
    this pain i used to have it before when i used to M for 2 ,3 times a day , that was one of the reason i considered to stop at all, this in addiction with the heavy shame i was feeling.

    What do i know, what do i learned from all of this? men are weak, apparently they cant proper learn a lesson at first but need to try, try try again and again before succeed. I was sure today, i was really f****** sure that i was going to have no harm but, i dont know what to believe or not.

    Everywhere i look, you see pro and cons of M, that doing it once in a while can do no harm but, i know that everyone experience is different so, even if in the past i used to do it daily almost, back then i was having no issue, maybe because it was normal to me, to feel tired and being not able to concentrate to much on work,or things, people in general.

    Dunno guys, its day 0 all over again, dunno what to believe actually, science can be proven wrong, i know that , and NF is not science but i gotta say, for a good amount, its right to, stay away, abstain for long or little from all of these things.
     
    Darren hutto likes this.
  2. Ricardo26

    Ricardo26 Fapstronaut

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    do you feel heart palpitations when you masturbate
     
  3. Wow did you complete 96 days? Bravo! Thats amazing streak. The problem you will have after such a long time with relapse, is called the chaser effect. You may end up feeling more hornier then ever (esp after 96 days)! Look up the chaser effect nofap for more info.

    Take cold showers for a week this will help reduce the cravings
     
  4. Giving up porn can lead to withdrawal symptoms or flatline. Because your brain has been over stimulated from all the porn you watch. It will turn against you for a little while after you quit. Then your brain will slowly reset itself back to a default state. By that time, you will start to feel everything looks more vibrant in life. Nofap is a complex thing, because everyone have different lives. So i can't say much about your situation. Please don't take "counting days" so seriously. Nofap isn't a challenge for counting days. It is about saving your life, literally. Counting days just a way to make yourself feel better because you can track your progress. Which motivates you to grind for better results. The bad thing is, if you are taking it too seriously, once you relapse, you will collapse as a whole. Your 90 days progress is very important. You should feel fantastic about yourself because you just disciplined yourself to back off from one of the hardest-to-escape addiction for 90 days. Think about it, how many man can do that for 90 days. Not even 3 days i guarantee ya. Continue on your journey man. Learn from your mistakes, so it won't happen again.

    Potential reason for relapse:
    1. Not educated enough about the porn addiction. I made a thread about how you can beat PMO urges the easy way. (https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...t-pmo-urges-the-easy-way.277077/#post-2545415)
    2. Try to exercise and change your diet as much as you can. It will help your brain recover faster from all the damage you did to yourself.

    Me personally, i haven't experienced a single urge for so far 3 weeks. Read my thread.
     
    Loner007 likes this.
  5. Ricky56

    Ricky56 Fapstronaut

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    First off, thanks to the 3 of you for answering my topic, expecially kkn93hc7 and Ancient Wisdom .

    Actually of all the things, flatline, urges, i didnt read anything about chaser effect so, i will look up to it.
    After i relapsed the 1st time, yeah i got some palpitations but that was because i was a bit scared of the effects and what would happen, and actually, for the rest of the day i was fine, still tired but yeah, good. The urges came 2 days later, i broke 2 streak, 96 days was hard mode yeah, but actually i was porn free (from videos) from january, so it was a double fail. I hate to say that after 30 min i did M, i started to watch again some videos, and i felt even crappier than before. Then i also got some pain in the scrotum, like it was burning, i had it before when i used to M for a whole week, daily, thats why, when this COVID story will be mostly over,i will go to an urologist and see why this happened , and more importantly why after a single M session, i, or we all, feel like crap. I will try to bring him some question about myths and truth about M, if and when i get them, i will share to the forum what i learned from a so called "expert".

    My first, my very first relapse was 1 month before the start of my longest streak, and it was on january. I relapsed after 17 days, back in time was really really hard, was having urges for most of the day, heavy brain fog, unable to even talk clearly without eating words, i looked dumb... badly i thought the only way to stop was actually to give up, and make some test, a single M session for week, but then the next days, i was having even worst urges and i relapsed 2 other times, after 5 and 3 days. All of that was on january.
    On february i decided to... make it good for once and, i deleted every crap from my phone, kik,skype which both of them i used to, well, you know.

    I know i, we all should not count the days but actually makes every single day count, by doing something important, thats why the first time didnt work , as the only thing i was doing was, staying away from porn and doing well, mostly nothing. The first weeks are very hard, even to hear our thoughts which, most of the time are bad, negative, sometimes, the worst thoughts ever, when you are really low.

    About now, what i can say, i feel...good, not that low, but basically stuck in , normality, which is fine, i guess everything i did wasnt lost, the progress its still there. Anyway, I thought i was going to feel crap, all over again, but as for now, i cant say that, because it would be a lie, as it would be a lie, saying that i dont have any urges, because i do but... i am not giving up.
    I'm alone at house, in the morning so, its a bit harder to not have urges but, its the best way to discipline myself into , not giving up and doing other useful things, which i will do, as i will start to prepare the lunch, for example. The diet yeah, i decided to quit every single sugar refined food and drink, and leave it for just a single day only (sunday) as the cheating day, in which, i make just a cake by myself, using less sugar as usual. I Still follow the rule of avoiding this type of food but its better to educate myself to , avoid them yes but leave one and only exception.

    I thought it would be the same with PMO but, i guess, i am still too addicted and cant control myself, but having some pain in my scrotum, feeling crap all day long, demotivated , these, are enough reason for me to keep going what i'm doing and that is, avoid all of this stuff.
    I know for sure that doing it all days, for week, months is soo damaging, even without watching videos but, i cant stop to think that one and only one day, it cant make me, or us, feel like crap, there has to be a reason, maybe its just because its soo addicting or because we all here were addicted and still are. But People, animals do even M, its a "just fine" method to relieve stress, just an abuse of it, but basically, the abuse of everything, damages us. That will be my first topic i will have with the urologist, he has to give some answers, even tho we must discover for ourselves, our truth, by experiencing, with knowledge, we gotta discover what works or not.
     

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