Hi everyone, not many here know me or at least read one of my topics but, recently i made one topic regarding my success from the 90day challange, and actually i did succed and wanted to go on for long but, i guess, things didnt go that way. I broke it, the first time 2 days ago and again today. Two days ago i was tired as fuck, after a long day in my farm, to do some work i couldnt do before, because of restrictions and after i came back in my house, i wanted to take a shower to relieve from some pain i had, i dont know how it started but i started to feeling a bit more hot than usual and, had some palpitations. Back then, when i used to work, at my cuisin' garage, when i came home , soo tired i used to M a bit, to relieve from stress, thats where my addiction became serious and i started to visit cams or actually do it by myself, and that was the only moments in the day when i felt relieved. I dont know if it was the only reason, or my mind actually wanted me to break the streak, to see what actually could change if , something could change, but thats it i cant circle around that, i did it, without the use of porn but, it does matters? I gotta admit that it worked for a bit, for 1 h or less, i felt relaxed and for the first time after a long time, i didnt feel ashamed or guilty, i mean, its not a sin, so why feel guilty? but later that night, i started to feel like i was having flu, headcache and my eyes were really tired, but yeah it could be after the long day at work, so i didnt care to much about it. Then , after dinner, i came straight to my bed, struggled a bit to fall asleep and, i woke up 3 times , during the night, without reasons apparently. Its useless to tell that yesterday i felt tired, the whole day, again, headcache and could barely keep my eyes open, couldnt concentrate to much on doing things even talkin was too much. That for a whole day but luckily i falled asleep a bit quicker this time and woke up just 1 time. I will shortly talk about today, today i was feeling a bit better than yesterday, still feeling tired actually but i felt again some energy, urges and ...well, i got an erection, Could barely concentrate,i was alone at my house and even if i was pretty sure that it was going to be wrong , after all the work, but again... it was like falling straight to the old habits without any efforts , like ( whatever, what a more fap can do)... i guess, i dont know... i may be wrong or partially right. Why i say that? because after this one, i started to feel like my urethra was burning , after going to pee and the pain actually did continue for 30 min. It could be prostatitis or cystitis but i leave that to the Urologist, because i know this pain This... this pain i used to have it before when i used to M for 2 ,3 times a day , that was one of the reason i considered to stop at all, this in addiction with the heavy shame i was feeling. What do i know, what do i learned from all of this? men are weak, apparently they cant proper learn a lesson at first but need to try, try try again and again before succeed. I was sure today, i was really f****** sure that i was going to have no harm but, i dont know what to believe or not. Everywhere i look, you see pro and cons of M, that doing it once in a while can do no harm but, i know that everyone experience is different so, even if in the past i used to do it daily almost, back then i was having no issue, maybe because it was normal to me, to feel tired and being not able to concentrate to much on work,or things, people in general. Dunno guys, its day 0 all over again, dunno what to believe actually, science can be proven wrong, i know that , and NF is not science but i gotta say, for a good amount, its right to, stay away, abstain for long or little from all of these things.