SO of PA with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder - undiagnosed)

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by WantsToBelieve, Apr 11, 2018.

  1. WantsToBelieve

    WantsToBelieve Fapstronaut

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    ***ANSWERS WELCOME FROM PA's AND SO's, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ANYTHING RELATED TO MAJOR OR MINOR DEPRESSION AS WELL AS PMO ADDICTION***

    This thread is to ask for advice for my boyfriend (was fiance, we have now taken a step back), who is a PA. He is finally seeking counseling and has an appointment with his doctor tomorrow to discuss his options. I fully believe he will be diagnosed as clinically depressed, possibly even MDD.
    We've both been through a lot of pain in the past three years. We've both said things we haven't meant, and caused a lot of damage. I have betrayal trauma, a lot of it, and have trouble not taking it out on him as the cause (he IS the cause, but I'm trying to remember that depression is not a choice)
    My question here is this: What sort of things should I be trying to do to help him? Do I step back completely and let him sort it out with counseling alone? Do I hold his hand through it, even if I barely want to look at him some days?
    And what do I do when it's all too much for both of us? How do I take care of both of us without losing my mind?
    Any resources, links, videos, would be appreciated.
     
  2. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Your first priority is to take care of yourself. As they say put your oxygen mask on before assisting others. As far as him all you can do is be supportive of him. The rest he’s got to do alone. And if you hold his hand you will likely fall into the enabling trap. If he’s going to counseling once a week or as recommended and taking meds if recommend and doing all the steps to get well you support him, you love him, and you do what you can.

    I am an ex so. I was also engaged this a pmo addict with anxiety . He has to do this and he has to want to and whether that happens is out of your control.
     

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