I think that most people would consider me to be a rather quiet person and I often have trouble talking to people but I recently summoned up the courage to go on a date and it went really well !. I just have this thought in the back of my mind that im going to ruin everything or somehow mess this up, I really like this girl and it was alot of fun hanging out with her id like to do it again some time. I dont even really know why I said yes its so like against what I would usually do. I have a tendency to keep people somewhat at a distance because Im afraid of getting hurt but I dont know I really enjoyed hanging out with her and she made me feel really happy (this sounds so stupid when I read it...). What do i do ? Is this just something that I have to push myself past ? Does it ever go away ?
I have to confess, I'm currently in a similar situation myself. A few months ago, there was a girl that I met who was attracted and wanted to hang out, but I too was afraid of being hurt. I've never been in a committed relationship in my life, largely due to me not being very attractive in my earlier years (though I confess that I had a terrible personality that often alienated people). This girl was willing to give me a shot, but I wasn't willing to return the favour. In fact, the times we hung out reminded me of the time I went for my driver's test; I was so nervous and on edge that I ended up failing on my first attempt.
Eventually, I walked away (twice). I felt guilty after a while, but I realized recently that my own fear of failure, coupled by the fear of that woman discovering flaws about me led to my decision to call it quits. In hindsight, I can now see that things wouldn't have worked out anyway, so I think I made the right choice in that case. All those years of rejection and hurt led to me having a sour view of relationship, seeing them as eventual failure and a source of pain in the making. It took me some time to realize that my view was defined largely by my own personal hurt, not by hurt inflicted by others, as well as a lack of clarity that age and experience often brings.
Recently, however (yesterday, in fact), I ended up having lunch with a new lady that was so much nicer and fun to talk to; she also looks forward to spending her time with me and it feels so much more natural and fun to enjoy her company. If things go according to plan, I'm going to invite her to lunch this weekend.
Bottom line, to answer your question: It does go away, provided you allow yourself to heal by letting it go. The fear of getting hurt is sometimes a self-fulfilling prophecy; in your attempt to keep people away, you end up missing out on opportunities that render you alone and isolated, reinforcing the belief that happiness is unattainable. This doesn't just apply to relationships, but also friendships and other opportunities in life.
I hope this helps.
