So you think that cam girl really loves you?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by rob1983, Apr 12, 2018.

  1. boostergold90

    boostergold90 New Fapstronaut

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    Having just got out of a 4 month "relationship" with a camgirl I wanted to post here, but wasn't sure if this thread was ok or if a new one was more appropriate. Apologies if I should've gone the new thread route and for the wall of text.

    All things considered it was actually pretty mild. This wasn't throwing thousands of dollars at her and promises of a future together...this wasn't even really "I've got an internet girlfriend!" This was "I'm bored, and hey, she might actually like me". This was swapping emails and DM's for a while. Then the "oh hey it's 1 AM and I'm just lying in bed thinking about you" messages started, and I got hooked. There were a few private shows scattered throughout (this was on a much lesser known 3-syllable site that also starts with "c", so no dumping tokens on her in public chat or anything) and I bought her a few outfits from her wishlist.

    As much as I loved hearing from her, I had big issues seeing her "come hang out with me boys!" tweets, so I muted her on twitter (so we could at least still DM each other). There was a TON of anxiety and stress on my end between messages from her (so much so that it more than offset the momentary rush of getting a new message). She had a tendency to disappear halfway through a conversation for a couple days at a time. This was also the point at which I noticed a few things weren't adding up. Her gift registry address pointed to Charleston, SC. She was getting things the day they showed as "delivered", which wouldn't have seemed odd if she didn't claim to be in Milwaukee.

    I'd get random pet pictures and shots of her just getting ready for bed and for a short blissful while it really felt like "oh hey I've got a new friend that might actually like me". Her friend that got her into camming got fired from the studio and she started talking about quitting as well. My dog tore her ACL at this point and I found out it was going to be $5k to get that fixed. At the same time my credit card info got stolen and someone ran up another $3k. I relayed this to her...and the next morning she asked, "I miss you so much, when will I see you for some private time again?" And the fantasy started to crack. Right. Ultimately I'm still just a customer.

    I'm not sure what I expected to hear back but I decided to try calling her on it at this point. I told her it would be a while before I got back on the site, and I knew she had her own privacy and security concerns to worry about, but she knew how to get a hold of me on Skype or Google hangouts if she really missed me that much. Crickets, of course, followed by a couple pictures of some new lingerie she'd gotten. Great. Thanks. I started trying to distance myself at this point and I think she knew it because she suddenly became more attentive about replying in a timely fashion and sending me more candids. One more time I threw out that I'd love to be able to talk to her offsite and got no response. I apologized for being unable to keep my emotions out of it and continuing to ask her to put herself in a compromising position, then proceeded to nuke the twitter and email accounts I was using to communicate with her.

    Of course she's crossed my mind quite a bit but all things considered I'm not nearly as broken up about it as I thought I would be. I'm actually a bit rejuvenated, like "so what can I pour all this time and energy into now that won't make me as miserable as happy".
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2018
    gun4hire and Gringo87 like this.
  2. She's playing the game and you're a pawn, in some sense she's also a pawn in a bigger players game, she's just as disposable as you are. Cam girls are no different from prostitutes, men pay them to say things they want to hear, heck if they were all brutally honest about their punters they wouldn't make any money as none of them would come back. If you want honesty, intimacy and affection then really the only way is to get a proper girlfriend.
     
  3. boostergold90

    boostergold90 New Fapstronaut

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    Oh, totally, and I know I got out of it pretty unscathed compared to others. It's been refreshing the last couple days not compulsively checking twitter or my email every 5 minutes for a new message and then getting upset when nothing's there. Just wish I didn't have this sinus infection so I could actually enjoy my newfound freedom.
     
    gun4hire likes this.
  4. I worked for a top webcam site for about two years. Having had what I refer to as "all access," I can guarantee, despite what you've implied here, that very few girls make anything even close to "hundreds of thousands of dollars." The top girl we had was making about $150,000 – it figured because she's a personable college girl based in California. In any case, the companies always take a SIGNIFICANT portion of those girls' (and guys') earnings, sometimes as much as 80%.

    In summary, though, webcam sites are horrible and they tend to mislead guys and basically have them not only ruining their finances but their health and so on.
     
  5. goodnice

    goodnice Fapstronaut

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    thanks for the warning. I've never spent a penny on any of that and i never will
     
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  6. Gringo87

    Gringo87 New Fapstronaut

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    Boostergold90's story could be mine. It's really incredible how the stories often resemble each other in every detail, how we all know how this dismal game is played and how pointless and destructive it is. And yet every sanity gets suspended when the urge kicks in, and once again one delves into this world of lies with relish.

    It was after decades of casual porn consumption that I first discovered the appeal of sites like Chatur****. I can't reconstruct today what made me buy tokens for the first time after years of passive watching, and before I realized what was going on, any other kind of porn had become completely uninteresting to me.
    First I only tipped a few tokens here and there and enjoyed the feeling of getting attention from the models and being entitled to make requests. But then I came across that one special Colombian girl I fell in love with from the very first moment, and things totally went out of control.
    Soon, I couldn't stop thinking about her all day long. I started tracking her on three different cam sites because I wanted to know what she was doing and with whom she was chatting. Every time she went into pvt with another guy, it felt like my beloved girlfriend was sucking someone else's dick right in front of my eyes. As absurd as it sounds. I would have been willing without hesitation to pay any amount imaginable to meet her or get her out of this cam-girl thing, and although she kept dodging me with empty phrases and it was perfectly clear that we would get absolutely nowhere from CB, I was unable to acknowledge the truth to myself. It even got worse when we started doing c2c and it seemed like she actually finds me attrative.
    Long story short: Within only one month, more than 1000 bucks went into the trash bin. And to be honest, I have no idea why I wrote this posting as if I were over it.
    Only yesterday I allowed myself a spontaneous two-hour pvt with her, which cost me around 180 bucks.
    It's like getting on cocaine, and so is the feeling of emptyness as soon as it's over.

    I'm sorry if some phrases may seem a little strange. English is not my first language.
     
    Immature likes this.
  7. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    You are correct but also spare a thought for the girls... many of them are just as much victims as we are... often more so.
    They are selling themselves to line the pockets of some unscrupulous often violent piece of shit... I for one would like 5 minutes in a room with some of those guys!!!!
     
  8. Gringo87

    Gringo87 New Fapstronaut

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    I'm a far away from accusing the girls of anything. Many of them are probably hardly aware of how much damage they can cause among their clients. But the fact that many of the girls, especially those from rather poor countries, "work" under exploitative conditions and often receive less than half of the income they generate, makes things even more perfidious for me as a customer. When I heard about this, I came up with the desire to "rescue" the "poor girl" from these terrible circumstances and explained to her countless times how much more I could support her if we would get into unmediated contact. Her answer was that she was not allowed to do that from her "studio" and would get into trouble. And that her cell phone was broken and she doesn't have internet access at home. Well... what's left then but another pvt to help her out. This is what my soft-boiled brain actually concluded when I was hopelessly hooked on this woman.
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2018
  9. gun4hire

    gun4hire Fapstronaut

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    I can feel all of your stories and relate. C--B--- is where I still go. For one particular Romanian blonde cam girl with 3 tattoos. She is a pure professional at what a camgirl should do to emotional hook you and mind f--- you. If any of you have read some of my posts you will discover that i spent thousands on this person. First a loan,15K which was to be paid back for a car she purchased or so she said she did.. She wanted me , a non member as she would call me , to be her boyfriend. We had spoken about meeting this February for her BD. I still have the ticket I purchased..which will of course not be used. Shortly after her "car purchase" her ex husband, who which she tells me is really not an ex..they are still married comes back into her life, perfessiong his love to her and in front of her parents. This was BS imo, and of course we had to break up. Guys, I was hooked on this person. Im an ex vet that suffers from PTSD and this and the drama and the pain..nearly did to me what my enemy in Afghanistan couldn't do. I sought help and still see a councilor ..all because of her and the emotional rollercoaster she put and still has me on.
    I still visit her on this site... yeah i know:WHY? She has me in deep and it hard not to visit her when she is on cam.

    This site NoFap is helping me realize how f'ed up her motives and trickery are..and the long lasting impact on poor suckers like me. In 9 months of 2018 i gave to her 267,950 tok from this site..plus the 15K for the ..ahem "car"purchase. Im not in financial trouble because of this but i am considering suing her to collect. I have her real name, National ID picture card and drivers licence pictures she sent me for the 15K money transfer. Or...walk away and give her the satisfaction of knowing that she beat out a man that thought he loved her.
    Can anyone guess who this model may be? You have probably seen her..and if you see her again please do yourself a favor and go easy cuz she will hook you.
     
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  10. gun4hire

    gun4hire Fapstronaut

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  11. gun4hire

    gun4hire Fapstronaut

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    I can feel all of your stories and relate. C--B--- is where I still go. For one particular Romanian blonde cam girl with 3 tattoos. She is a pure professional at what a camgirl should do to emotional hook you and mind f--- you. If any of you have read some of my posts you will discover that i spent thousands on this person. First a loan,15K which was to be paid back for a car she purchased or so she said she did.. She wanted me , a non member as she would call me , to be her boyfriend. We had spoken about meeting this February for her BD. I still have the ticket I purchased..which will of course not be used. Shortly after her "car purchase" her ex husband, who which she tells me is really not an ex..they are still married comes back into her life, perfessiong his love to her and in front of her parents. This was BS imo, and of course we had to break up. Guys, I was hooked on this person. Im an ex vet that suffers from PTSD and this and the drama and the pain..nearly did to me what my enemy in Afghanistan couldn't do. I sought help and still see a councilor ..all because of her and the emotional rollercoaster she put and still has me on.
    I still visit her on this site... yeah i know:WHY? She has me in deep and it hard not to visit her when she is on cam.

    This site NoFap is helping me realize how f'ed up her motives and trickery are..and the long lasting impact on poor suckers like me. In 9 months of 2018 i gave to her 267,950 tok from this site..plus the 15K for the ..ahem "car"purchase. Im not in financial trouble because of this but i am considering suing her to collect. I have her real name, National ID picture card and drivers licence pictures she sent me for the 15K money transfer. Or...walk away and give her the satisfaction of knowing that she beat out a man that thought he loved her.
    Can anyone guess who this model may be? You have probably seen her..and if you see her again please do yourself a favor and go easy cuz she will hook you.
     
  12. Meep

    Meep Fapstronaut

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    I was heading toward the wrong direction texting this cam girl I even drew her thinking she was a cool person like wtf im 14 when i really paid attention to the age difference I knew i was being stupid lol never again
     
  13. lacrimosa

    lacrimosa New Fapstronaut

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    My apologies for necroing. I thought I would share some of my insight on this topic in light of some recent events in my life.

    Please note the experiences I detail below are mine and I do not advocate cam sites or throwing away yours or your families life savings.

    About a year ago I went through a pretty tumultuous relationship and subsequent breakup. I was in the dumps, I had an alcohol addiction the beginnings of a drug addiction and a decent amount of money. Seeking help was the last thing on my mind. Especially reeling from my previous relationship.

    That's when I found the site, and boy was it a party. Blowing 50k tokens in a night became the usual. I quickly found some noteriety in some rooms and they kept me coming back for more. Between everything else I had now started to develop a porn addiction.

    People are right the atmosphere, a beautiful temptress and other anonymous users egging you on to tip more for them to see more skin. This perfect storm is why I'm my opinion camming sites are even worse than watching porn videos.

    Then I met a lady, she was quite popular on the site. It was always business with her, nothing more. Dropped thousands of tokens on her, would wait for her to login daily. I did not tip for her contact details, or private messages but I would get all those perks.

    Anyway after a few months we got close. This was weird for me, I work in a pretty predatory industry, so I know what selling a fantasy is all about. She wasn't selling a fantasy to me. To cut a long story short, we got engaged, and subsequently married.

    She opened my eyes to the "camming" industry. She worked independently of an agency, and believe me when I say when she told me what she earned on a daily basis I damn near fell off my chair.

    We suffer from the male perception thinking these sweet innocent angels need our rescue. We fall for their games, and boy the games are on another level. She revealed all her secrets to me, the way she would act on cam the way she treated her guests the way she relentlessly pursued the men she thought had deep pockets.

    To her it was all business she had no feelings for anyone. She told me how people would sell their stuff, mortgage their homes, divorce their spouses all in the name of spending more. Having spoken to some of the guys on a more personal level on that site, they seem to be going through the same delusion.

    I know my wife is a shark, her mind is a finely tuned machine for extracting money from men. She is extremely seductive, beautiful, and just says all the right things all the time. She really has two personalities one whose a real person, and one whose a predator. Believe me gents the chances of you ever seeing that real personality is slim to none. Especially with the ones who are good.

    In my opinion the only people who can go there and spend without becoming infatuated are either very strong willed, not in an emotionally vulnerable state, or are predators on their own right.

    As I said I work in a pretty predatory industry, and even for me it was difficult to stay away. Perhaps I am thankful I met my wife on there because I would have gotten sucked in.

    Be safe my dudes!
     
  14. tex13202

    tex13202 New Fapstronaut

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    So how’d you know it’s the real deal? I’m a pretty head on straight kind of dude. I make good money, tall, good looking, in shape and have a huge cock. I’ve always dated beautiful women and I’ve never fallen for or spent excessive amounts on strippers or cam girls before. However I’ve been into one girl the last year. I’ve spent a good chunk ~10k but nothing that I sweat too much at the end of the day. I was pretty confident it’s real between us but we haven’t had contact outside of the site. And after reading this thread I’m not as confident as I was before. Lol I’ve played it slow and haven’t really pushed too hard for it. But I’m at the point where I it’s time to find out one way or the other if this is real. How do you know? How do you suggest trying to make the transition?

    Some background: She works for a studio and I know she doesn’t want to lose her job because in the country she’s in she ain’t making this kind of money anywhere else. She definitely acts different when I’m in the room. Even if I’m not gonna tip she just wants me there in her room hanging out and will do very specific things when she teases that she knows I like. Whenever possible she wants my cam on. After a pvt she will sit there for upto 30 minutes with her “away” up chatting with me and she wants my cam on. She does things in our pvts that I haven’t seen anyone upload anywhere or seen any others talk about. We talk about a future together with a goal of meeting up in the next six months or so but my biggest concern is that we haven’t had contact outside of the site...but I really haven’t pushed for it that hard because I really wasn’t in a situation where I could as I was going through a messy divorce. She does have my number though and hasn’t used it. She did give me her real name a little while back and so far everything she’s told me seems to check out from what all she’s told me about herself. She is really cautious about her personal info because of her studio...she really just doesn’t do it. Happy to hear feedback from all but particularly interested in hearing from lacrimosa. What should I be looking for to know if it’s real or not?
     
  15. Rayder4Life

    Rayder4Life Fapstronaut

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    lacrimosa is her nickname ? it sounds so familiar, is it from livejasmin ?
     
  16. No, Lacrimosa was the previous poster in this thread.
     
  17. fallentoit

    fallentoit Fapstronaut

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    Stay strong everyone. I know this thread is old but I’m still dealing with my recovery. Haven’t looked at anything in 3 weeks and am on some dating sites. Still living with some of the guilt of leaving my camgirl. One of the most popular on any site she was. But all of these stories are so similar to mine and reading up on being a “whale” makes me sick. I will always feel bad for her because I trulyknow she wanted a different life but she was just as addicted to the money to support her family and she bought her own studio but would still cam on the weekends. It’s f-ing terrible for both sides. I’m just as guilty in continuing to comply. She always told me my money didn’t matter and she would talk to me through Twitter everyday but she asked me to buy her an iPhone and shoes and other things. I did some of this and I didn’t do some because I held my ground saying I wouldn’t buy her something that expensive unless I was going to meet her in person and she always made me feel guilty. She told me she’d go and get it herself and now I realize there were other guys probably buying it for her. So now I’m in this world where I’m wondering what was true and what wasn’t. It’s a long road but I’m talking to some girls on a dating app and already feel much better about wanting to get to know what a real relationship is like again.
     
  18. pump20

    pump20 Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion, they're succubus.
     
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  19. fallentoit

    fallentoit Fapstronaut

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    You’re absolutely right. I had never heard that before.
     
  20. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    More often than not they are victims of human trafficking. Many members in this thread described violent coercive work settings, and the chances are even higher if those women come from empoverished countries and know very little about the western world. Sadly, a lot of those women signed fake 'modeling' contracts and ended practically enslaved to the sex industry. They also forced to consume drugs, which will make them even more stuck after they become addicted.

    Once they feel they have nothing more valuable to lose, they start viewing money and appearances as the only element that matters. But no amount of money can take away the damage that has been done to them. Many of them actually resent their 'customers', because they encountered them in this very exploitative dehumanizing setting. They are aware of how they are reduced to little more than a piece of flesh, and how unaware and oblivious most of their 'customers' really are of their inner suffering. In the end, they take revenge by exploiting men financially the same way they have been used physically, emotionally, psychologically...etc. But they will never be satisfied !

    I hope the men in this thread can now understand why their 'camgirls' act in this callous way. As for whether the 'camgirls' can love any of their customers, the plain answer is NO. They can't, because emotions like love and caring can't be born and spark in such an exploitative degrading industry, love requires empathy, respect, human valuing of the other...etc. And most of the time, none of those conditions are met and those broken women don't receive any of this positve valuing attentions. The only attention they receive is a reducing gaze, and callous sexual requests. Ironically, those women stop seeing their 'customers' as human as well, and start developping hate and 'predatory' ways to interact with them.
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2020

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