Social Anxiety

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Ada, Jul 28, 2014.

  1. Ada

    Ada Fapstronaut

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    So, I've seen that social anxiety is related to pmo and since quitting it I've felt more confident, however I've still been secluded, for reasons that aren't important atm. So I went to something somewhat social today and saw a table of people I didn't know and then the empty table. I had taken a cold shower, felt okay about my confidence but sill just blew it, I chose the empty table and sat there like a loner. I'm not sure if this is related to my recent relapses or if it's just that I'm not what I thought I was going to be. Experiences and tips about social anxiety would be appreciated, thanks.

    -Ada
     
  2. Third_Eye_87

    Third_Eye_87 Fapstronaut

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    Well I think youre brave for going out in public like that at all. I dont know if sitting at a table full of random people and trying to get to know them would be easy for anybody. I know there are exceptions and to a select type of person with a very out going personality it could be done but I personally dont see very much of that going on in my day to day observations (maybe im sheltered though I too have a bit of social anxiety). My point being that I believe that it will take time and practice in more controlled situations to work up to being socially extroverted in that type of way. I dont know if your social anxiety is directly related to your PMO or not or if PMO is just something that enhances a pre existing condition. I personally have a difficult time being social with my close friends at times and a variety of factors seem to influence how I will react to being around them. So for me a table full of strangers is totally out of the question and only on a really good day would I go out by myself and be near people. Props to you for that! You gotta crawl before you walk though. if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me. im having a hard time even meeting people on this site. I must be internet anti social or something!
     
  3. Ada

    Ada Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I think you're right, I've got to crawl before I walk in this situation. Unlike cold showers where you go from warm to instantly cold hah. I'm hoping that going back to school will help me, especially with what you said, being anti-social around my best friends even. Thanks for the support and opening my view on the situtation, it really helps.
     
  4. Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

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    Hey man. PMO has been a pretty big struggle for me socially. I have had a hard time connecting with other people IRL. PMO has kept my at my pc for hours. + playing videogames for thousands of hours. Online socially I am a God. Mostly because of my status within the games I play. IRL I'm just another person. I had a hard time talking to people even at my job ect. So I have started slowly doing things out of my comfort zone. If it's not hard, challenging, uncomfortable, it won'tchange you.

    So I started talking to strangers. I started looking up when I walk down a hallway. I smile at people and if they don't shy away, I'll say "Hello." as I walk by, sometimes it ends up being a quick conversation. I visited my GF at the hospital and talked to an old guy walking around. He had a walker and his O2 tank I asked him "You bustin' out of here?!?" He said "I wish!" so I offered him a ride wherever he wanted to [he knew I was kidding as he was clearly needing to be there] but he was SO happy to have had some type of conversation with someone. It actually made my day better. Ever since then is when I decided I can do it. I just need to keep working at it, like I did in my games, just different. Everything you do takes practice. Even learning to pee in the toilet.

    Progress is progress don't forget that! Small victories lead to great triumphs.
     
    Ada likes this.
  5. Ada

    Ada Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, Hotshot, very inspirational! I'm with you, behind a screen, I'm as "me" as I can get, but real interaction is a whole different experience. I'll try to use your advice:
    Thanks again man.
     
  6. DonRory

    DonRory Fapstronaut

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    @Ada

    It's cool to be social and all that stuff, but if you don't feel like it, don't hate yourself. It's completely okay to be introverted. I've been an introvert my whole life. I prefer playing an instrument and writing songs or just simply listening to music over almost any social activity. Every once in a while I visit a town in the nearby and I hang out with my friends and we have awesome time. But, even then, I don't go out as others do. I still hate loud and crowded places. I like peace. There's nothing wrong with that. If you're this way, and if you put it out there, most people will respect that. The other ones, well they're a**holes anyway.

    But it would be cool not to feel socially anxious when you're at your job or at school, right? I think there's a solution. It all has to do with what you think of yourself. That's the part where nofap makes it's job. Once you can control your actions, you are in charge of yourself. That's the most important thing when it comes to being social, imo. Not to mention the extra energy you'll have once you hit bigger points on your way up there. Just keep going. I'd also recommend watching Friends (the tv show). It could inspire you. I've seen it many times and it has improved my personality a lot. I was a boring guy. If you have a sense of humor, everything changes. Take care.
     
  7. Adjoint

    Adjoint Fapstronaut

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    Well said, Hotshot. Thanks for your post. That incident with the old guy was so inspiring. Good luck on your journeys, people. Stay clean and everything will eventually come back to normal.
    Regards
     
  8. Adjoint

    Adjoint Fapstronaut

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    Oh! I was about to post a quote by Henry Charles Bukowski on loneliness but then I forgot about it. Anyway, I'll leave this here:
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2014
  9. Ada

    Ada Fapstronaut

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    Very interesting posts, thanks for sharing guys. Also, it's not that I don't enjoy social interaction, because when I am social, I love it. But as you have all said, It's okay to be introverted sometimes, and when being social, you've got to start small.
     

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