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[Just Rose]

Listen, this is the hardest thing you'll ever hear but I don't think he loves you. You see, I was in love in December and I made it up to 98 days of no PMO, because I wanted a future with him. I fell back in the hole because out of nowhere he stopped talking to me, he avoided me, he was cold as an ice cube with me... Anyway, if he loved you, he'd probably be out of the addiction by now. Being in love is a powerful catalyst for Rebooting. Now that I'm doing it for myself it's like 4 times harder, but I'm doing it because I want me out of the hole. So that's the other situation: he really doesn't want to leave it because he's certainly not trying his best.

 

[gymismylife]

Read the book Women that love too much, from Robin Norwood. Women that love too much become addicts of a person, they give everything and receive almost nothing, and they are common couples of addicts: alcoholics, drug addicts, work addicts, etc. I'm a woman that loves too much, and I encourage you to read it to see if you fit in the pattern, and being conscious about it is a very good first step. Building up healthy relationships upon that is hard and i haven't got there, but at least I don't get involved in hurting relationships anymore.

Ps. You are not guilty, never forget it, no matter how many times he says you are.

Thank you. I will read this book.

 

[EyesWideOpen]

"Love" lol. I just feel not ready to give up. I love this man despite his addiction. He has so many redeeming qualities that are hard to find in a person. Plus it seems like such a waste to just throw away all that's been invested

Is it really love? Or is it fear of starting over? Of giving up something familiar for something unknown, even if the something familiar is harmful to you? Which is more of a waste? To put the years you have spent with him behind you, or spend the rest of the years in front of you in misery when you could be on your own finding yourself or better yet, with someone that will love you the way you were meant to be loved? No one has enough redeeming qualities to continue putting up with abuse. If he won't commit to recovery and continues to hurt you, you have to decide if you are willing to live with that the rest of your life or if you deserve more.