Some advice would be grand...

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by obsolete_23, Mar 25, 2017.

  1. obsolete_23

    obsolete_23 Fapstronaut

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    I have refrained from watching porn since August last year, I'm happy I've stuck with it. Although I guess I haven't overcome the problems I was trying to reverse from porn use. So I'll start with what things were like back then, I basically watched pornography to escape a lack of confidence with women I had in my teens. I did the death grip often, never lubed up and always tried to finish in world record timing.

    Things spiralled and got worse quickly. I watched a lot of weird genres (all legal) but things I'm glad that I'm not interested in anymore. I'm definitely back in reality now and in a really awesome environment for going out and meeting new people. I have friends who are female and male which I think is really important and really cannot have a single complaint about my social life currently.

    When I go out, I'm interested in meeting girls the whole night. I'm happy to go and strike up a conversation and honestly feel like as much as anything I'm a good match for the girls I speak to. Things have changed massively in that respect for me, before I had girls hitting on me and I would try and find any escape route possible.

    My question might not be even porn related or PIED, but I could really do with some advice. I'm happy to answer any questions further. Recently I met a really stunning girl from my hostel (I work in hostel) she had a great personality and her friends said she was not the type to ever hook up on a night out, so I was pretty blown away when things did heat up. We made out in a club and then outside, she straddled me for a little while and we played around a bit. I had a hard- on and I noticed as I got up to leave that I had pre-cummed. Still it felt as though like I was owning the situation and I couldn't see anything going wrong at this point. We got back to the house and she said she was going to bed. I then kissed her and I took her into the living room where we continued to make out, I undressed her, we did some foreplay and she was getting pretty turned on. But then I realised my penis was completely limp, like not even a tingle. She tried pulling me off as I continued working her but it was just incredibly frustrating. I felt okay after, I'm kind of used to it at this point and I guess handled it better than I had before. But I just wondered if anyone could shed any light if someone's had similar experiences. Perhaps pre-cumming some time before trying to have sex my penis thought it was done? Or maybe a deeper- rooted problem I feel quite unattached from my previous experiences but I suppose its possible. Any advice/recommendations might really help out, so please feel free...
     
  2. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Hi I'm a female partner of a man with PIED delayed ejaculation. Was this the first time you tried to have sex since stopped pmo? Congrats by the way on your achievement I know that's a difficult road. Did you still masturbate during that time? If you try to masturbate without porn do you have ED? Could you have gotten yourself hard during sex with touch? If you can get hard without porn on your own and have given up porn I suspect you had anxiety and that's what caused the issue. You knew you had performance issues before, this is the first time you are having sex after a reboot and you say the girl is hot and I'm reading you feeling You think she's out of your league. Men think that the hottest girl should make them so turned on but it actually brings out a lot of insecurities so it can cause ED. Also since it was a hookup you likely did not disclose your prior issues. In a more serious relationship you would have and that in itself makes you more comforting. I suspect nerves but if it keeps up and you have not I would see a doctor just to rule out other issues.
     
    Disciplefive likes this.
  3. obsolete_23

    obsolete_23 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for replying always interesting to hear a different perspective. To answer your question, I slept with someone a few weeks before although it really took a while to get an erection. When this happens its different to being flaccid there is completely no sensation at all.

    During my noFap period I haven't masturbated at all I can get an erection fairly easily with only thought but not sure I'd maintain it strong enough to have sex. I actually have quite a high admiration for myself, like I don't think I was beneath her. I instigated everything and that felt good - all til the crucial moment. I'm not sure what it is with me. I'm struggling for answers perhaps you're right that it is still anxiety but at this point I don't really know how to change things. :/
     

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